Things that look good in the movies but are probably shit IRL…

[Arlanymor]

I used to be SO envious of Catherine Zeta Jones’ bedroom in Splitting Heirs (remember that film?! It was awful, a failed attempt at farce). She had a narrow swimming pool that went around her bedroom and I used to think: “Wow - it would be so amazing to have a swim first thing in the morning and set yourself up for the day.” In reality, I bed the bedroom stunk of chlorine, it was probably a never-ending journey to keep heated and you’d probably only use it for a week and then get bored of the novelty… what else looks good in the movies but in reality probably just sucks?

Movie: Massive family Christmases/Thanksgivings. Everyone looks happy, the food is perfect and there's no arguments.
Reality: Food over/undercooked, unexpected or unwanted guests, you spend the whole time wondering when they'll leave. And then someone says something offensive or rude, there's tears and arguments, and the kids are being ungrateful and brattish.

By all accounts, the chocolate river in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, which stank.

Lots of things about Hogwarts.

Sex in a bubble bath with candles and champagne. Looks romantic.

In reality, lukewarm water sloshing everywhere, not enough room, uncomfortable and unsatisfying. You end up slipping on the enamel and cracking your chin on the side of the bath. Taps digging in. Etc.

I know for a fact that driving in an open top car is a pain in the arse.

My first thought was Tom Cruise.

But he's probably perfectly nice IRL.

But yes- rose petals scattered everywhere as a part of some romantic evening. I keep wondering who is doing the vacuuming.

Moving on your own to France/another mainland European city. Frequently happens in films (usually Paris) but cafés, walks along the river and visits to museums and galleries get boring after about a week. There is a lot of red tape, everywhere stinks of smoke, the tiny supermarkets are shit and it rains just as much as it does in the UK. The bit where Carrie in SatC moved to Paris was actually quite accurate.

Sex in a shower. Risk of slipping, the woman being shoved up against the cold tiles, one person being under the warm water, the other not.

Carrying all your groceries in a handle-less paper bag. With a baguette sticking out of the top.

Going to bed with a full face of make up on. They wake up looking tousled and glowing with the smallest hint of mascara. In real like I look like Coco the Clown and have huge spots.

Argh I had a better example and peri brain has swallowed it - bear with me!! 😭

Most sex related things, as above!

Once one gets over the age of 26 - sex basically anywhere that isn’t a bed.

On that note, sharing a bubble bath. Someone always gets the tap end with the hot or cold drips.

God yes. I'm the same age now as DH was when we first met. I often marvel that he had the energy to start a new sexual relationship. And we used to have sex in strange positions and in strange places.

Looking back I'm impressed and a little bit perplexed by it.

Childbirth. Splash, a few screams, then “push” and be presented with a perfectly clean baby of about 3 months old! The reality, however….!

I don't know why but I was always quite taken by the modern, open, non-hilly shopping areas you see in American films. In reality, everything just feels a bit soulless and boring. Very different to shopping in the UK where we can nip into Primark with Edinburgh Castle towering above us, or similar.

Sex on the beach. Sand....

I’ve had this moment with a paper Morrisons bag that disintegrated in the rain

Decorating a house for Christmas or even just a Christmas tree.

They appear with one or two boxes and before you know it, the whole of the outside of the house is covered in lights and greenery, there are 4ft high nutcracker soldiers on guard outside the front door and numerous illuminated things on the lawn.

The tree is festooned in lights and hand made decorations.

It looks so simple.

Not a ladder in sight, not a cross word has been uttered. No-one trod on the lights, everyone is still talking to each other.

Sex in a field on a glorious sunny day - multiple orgasms included.
Lovely at the time, until you get ringworm & your GP asks about any contact you've had with sheep.

When you meet your childhood sweetheart 40 years later.
its inevitable that in RL you’re going to be having one of those ‘just nipping out in my PJs because I won’t see anyone’ days.

Anything involving a hot tub. The reality of getting in and out is unspeakable. Whilst in,
little spits of water hit your face, you’re balanced on a slippy seat with one arse cheek, you have nowhere sensible to put your feet and you have nowhere to hang your arms except over the sides.

In Friends with people just walking into your apartment. Imagine sitting on the loo or having sex & hearing someone walk into the apartment! Plus seeing your friends every single day. I love my friends but I'd get a bit sick of seeing them all the time

Driving along with the top down.

On screen: freedom, sunshine, the wind in your hair

In reality: chilly, loud, drizzle, exhaust fumes, bird's nest hair

Pretty much any iconic American landmark/natural wonder. In the films they usually don't show the hordes of brain dead loudmouth elephants waddling about who were only able to get anywhere near because they built a massive car park less than 100 metres away, complete with gift shop full of tat and fifteen fast food outlets.