To think martial arts is out because of forward roll fear?

[TaylorWift]

DS 13.
I really want him to learn a martial art.
He is shy, sensitive, quiet, and his self esteem is ok but very easily knocked for a number of reasons too detailed to go in to here. He had amazing self esteem as a young child, but I've watched this get knocked since the age of 10 due to a series of different things that happened to him. Obviously im working hard all the time to rebuild it, but bottom line is his view of the world and the people in it has been turned upside down over recent years and his self confidence is now low.
Anyway, big bullying incident at school a few of months back. Led to the bully being permanently excluded.
DS isn't confident in a sporty way, unfortunately. He's always refused to join any sports clubs that involve higher levels of competitiveness, i.e. football.
I feel like I need to get him in to martial arts. Not only to teach him self defense but also to make him carry himself confidently and to give off an air about him that shows he's not an easy target.
I chatted to him and he's open to it.
So I've had a long phone conversation with a local martial arts trainer who was great and really helpful and he talked at length about the philosophy behind martial arts. I told him all about DS and he said martial arts would be great for his self confidence. I could hear his passion for it. But then, as soon as I said DS can't do a forward roll, or a head over heels as I used to call it as a kid, he straight up said DS won't be able to join his class until he can do one.
But DS literally cannot do a forward roll. And I don't mean he can't. Can't, and won't practice. He also cannot dive. In his swim lessons, he can't go up to the next stage because he can't dive.
He has tried to dive and tried to do forward rolls but he can't do them.
He says he cannot do anything where his head has to go forward and down under the rest of his body and then for his body to follow over his upside down head. I don't know if I'm explaining this properly 🤦‍♀️
So is that it? Is DS blocked out of learning a martial art because he can't do forward rolls?
I'd really love advice from anyone who foes martial art, or whose DC do, who might know about this?

Akido is lots of rolls so avoid that! Kickboxing is zero rolls.

My kids do karate and not yet had to do a forward roll. They do mixed classes so even though mine haven't been doing it long, I have not seen any other belt do a forward roll.
I suggest you look around and talk to different instructors.

My 14 year old son has just started kick boxing. He says that you don't need to do any physical contact, it is all pads ie you take it in turns to hold pads for each other. It has belt colours to progress through and grading based on making the correct actions so it sounds more like a martial art than boxing.

Sounds like karate or taekwondo would suit him better then.

Taekwondo can be contact (sparring) but not at a beginner level and they do lots of pad work and non contact first.

Sparring contact depends on the style kyokushin, is a full contact, shotokan, gojo ryu, wado ryu all tend to use semi contact, even then rules at competition can vary..from only certain strikes, no head hit for example.
Karate has 3 parts, kihon (basics) , kata ( forms) and kumite ( sparring) ..honestly im nearly 60 and its the best thing I've ever done. Wish I had taken it up years ago. My DD is a black belt and I couldn't afford it myself when she was doing it.
Look at few clubs, talk to the instructors. Don't touch any that 'guarantee' grading every few weeks. It should be based on attainment, attendance and importantly attitude to training.

Judo there's definitely forward rolls for beginners but my dc has been doing karate for a couple of years and not had to do that yet.

Definitely no forward rolls in karate. Ds is a black belt and I don’t think he’s ever done a forward roll in his life, let alone during karate. I took up karate at 40 and definitely wouldn’t have had there been forward rolls involved!

Really interesting replies, thanks!!
So it sounds to me like the Judo/JuJitsu trainer I was talking to was not correct in telling me all martial arts require forward rolls then!
OK so can I ask you all about Karate and Tae Kwondo - do they involve physical fighting? Do you get hurt? Are they hard contact?? Sorry I realise I sound ridiculous but I need to know! I hate googling stuff like this, I want answers from real people! DS would be very intimidated by any violence or aggression. I don't want to put him in a triggering situation.

But having said that, I'm not sure how martial arts is supposed to help self confidence unless he is literally scared because he thinks everyone will beat him up... If he doesn't like sports, he's unlikely to be great at it and so how would it help? Can you look at something he does like, art club or drama or music?

Another vote for kickboxing. I did semi contact. You do spar but your aim is to make precise contact, not with force: eg you're trying to get your jab etc in and out quickly rather than disabling your opponent. If you can't control your hits, then the match is stopped. You wear padding. I sparred with 6' men and never felt unsafe. No forward rolls required. In a good club, there should be absolutely no aggression when you spar.

If he's not happy rolling over, BJJ is not for him. DH does it and it's very much grappling on the floor.

There should always be control in sparring, beginners should only ever be doing 'light' barest touch sparring. Mitts, pads and head guard will be needed. There will be occasional accidents through inexperience but the sensei should be controlling the class to stop 'Kenny' kicking the crap out of 'Robby'.
I competed recently and the St. Johns crew had nothing to do all day!

I would just say my son struggles with sport but is doing well at kick boxing. It helps him with focus and his self confidence has improved as it is a very supportive space and he has made friends outside of school
froends

Ds and I do shotokan with a KUGB affiliated club. Everyone participates in kihon, kata and kumite as mentioned by a pp, however, kumite (sparring) is limited to practising attack and defence at slow speed and following a set pattern up to a certain grade. After this, it is closer to actual sparring, but still not at full power and very controlled. There is the opportunity to compete, which is different, but there is no pressure to do this. I have entered competitions, but only ever for kata (set patterns of moves, either individually or as part of a team, kind of synchronised karate). Finding the right club is essential I think, you should be able to go along and watch a training session to get an idea of what it’s like

My kids do Kuk Sool Won which is a Korean martial art made up of multiple disciplines. They do occasionally do some forward/backward rolls but as has been said you are rolling over your shoulder and not your head. It’s part of learning how to fall safely.

That being said, I’d say they practice them maybe every 6 weeks or so, so it’s not an every day thing.

As you move up the levels then yes the forms get more complex, but my daughter is about to test for her 1st degree black belt and none of her required forms include rolls.

I'd be a bit wary, if he's starting as a beginner at 13 is he going to put in a class with much younger kids, or be miles behind kids his own age? Neither of those things are great for self confidence.

Most kids start hobbies during primary school and have something well developed by secondary school, DS's friend does Taekwondo and started at age 7.

I am not sure its the confidence fix you think it is.

@TaylorWift My DM, who is in her 70s, is a 3rd dan black belt in Karate. I've just asked her if she's ever had to do a forward roll, the answer is no.

The repetitive practice of movements is good for those who struggle with coordination and balance at any age. We have kids at the club with dyspraxia, ADHD, autism, ADD. All benefit from the structure of classes and the type of movement. It's not directly competitive, so you can progress at your own rate. Unlike team sports where you get sidelined quickly if you aren't naturally sporty.

I am a black belt in shotokan karate and have never once needed to do a forward or backward roll

I'm just wondering about him not being able to do anything that requires head over heels. Have you explored why? Is it fear? I'm wondering if it might be stemming from something like an inner ear issue.

The club my children train at run mixed classes. The only ones that are separate are brown and black belts, but even they are welcome to attend any class. It's great as you get a mix of levels and ages e.g. adults training with the children.
I think the OP just needs to look around and find the right club.

Agree with previous comments too about discipline and skills when it comes to grading. My friends daughter seems to get a new belt quite regularly whereas at the club we go to they can only grade if they attend once a week for 6 months or if they train twice a week or more then this can be reduced to 3 months.

We had a lad start same time as me, he was 12, we are the same grade.

I’d second Taekwondo. My son started at 5 and was black belt by 10. I can’t recall him once ever doing a forward roll.

My son's class is 12+ and they have 14 year old black belts and 40 year old white belts. I don't think age really matters.

He did start hobbies in primary school. He went to swimming club, as he loves swimming; he's a good swimmer but now can't progress because of the diving issue. And he did weekly running club, as he loves running and is good at it. And drama club, as he enjoys acting. And he was part of, and remains part of, a biking club.
He didn't do martial arts because he wasn't in to learning it when he was younger. He is open to it now though.
The alternative is that he doesn't learn it at all though. Is that what you mean?
Surely he's not the only 13 year old to begin a martial art??

He certainly wouldn't be the only beginner in teen years, we have beginners of all ages start. A good club will welcome him with open arms..IME the karate 'community' is accepting, welcoming and supportive.