Nursry does a better job than me at bringing up my child

[wishitwasntme123]

Single parent. Zero support emotionally or physically or financially.

After spending the whole week with my kid (nursery was shut due to flood) I can safety say Ive got no patience and wish he didn't have me as a mum as I'm failing him

Parenting is hard - when mine were that age, I absolutely preferred being at work!

In terms of whether you are a good mom or not, ask yourself these questions (not expecting you to answer on here):

Does your child have clean clothes that fit them?
Does your child receive food and drinks that are nutritious?
Does your child have a bed to sleep in?
Does your child have a safe home?
Does your child have age appropriate toys?
Do you take your child to activities outside of the house?

If your child comes to you for a hug - do you hug them back?
Do you give your child spontaneous hugs?
Do you talk to them and interact with them?
Do you comfort them when they are upset and hurt?

I'm assuming the answer to the first set of questions is yes, from your answers on this thread. If the answer to the second lot of questions is also yes, then you are a good mom and you just need to figure out how to address the fear that your aren't because it isn't rooted in reality.

If the answer to any of those questions is no, then you need to seek some support.

Your HV is correct, that social services will only get involved if there is a safeguarding issue, but you can ask for support from Early Help services for which safeguarding is not a criteria. Search Early Help or Family Hubs in your area if you think you do need extra support - you can self refer (HVs are notoriously shite at referring to Early Help services)

I’ve never asked for support from SS as I don’t need it, I was suggesting a different service that you could try asking for support as the HV can’t offer any.

Oh OP, that's a bloody tough age. Give yourself a break, you're being very hard on yourself!
Honestly, mine nearly broke me at that age, and I had a very hands-on DH and support from GP's!
It does get easier, I promise you.

Op, you are not failing him at all. Children are tiring and not everyone is cut out for the hands on insta crafting Mum stuff all the time. My Mum was great but she didn't once play with me and my toys, take me swimming or even bake with me (she just used to give me mixing bowls and some flour to play with. Back then kids very much entertained themselves. Also it's hard to be patient sometimes, I found that and I was not a single parent. Give yourself a break.

I find it's the easiest age.... Weaned, uses spoon to eat, drinks from a cup, can talk in a limited amount, doesn't cry unless serious, is engaging .... It's just I have no frigging idea of how to be a good mum

Oh goodness the mess..... Defo something to do at nursery hahaha (they do all that play stuff).

It's just I feel like I'm just doing what I'm doing but there isn't anything to measure it to.

You know they aren't there to help children that are looked after adequately...... They are there to get the children who are being abused and at risk of being abused.... As you've not had any dealinga with them you wouldn't know.

As I've been involved in safe guarding I know.

Honestly, my dd loves nursery and I need a break. I can be a much better parent if she’s been to nursery. I’ve got a friend who’s a sahm and plans on homeschooling and I can’t imagine why you would do that. She plans wonderful activities for her son but her house is a massive mess and dirty. Something always has to give. I know in some ways 2 is easier than 1 but 3 is even easier. Now, if my daughter is annoyed she can tell me why. Even if she is screaming in the supermarket at least I have an idea what the problem is.

5 bedroom house with swimming pool and a games room? You and your 2 year old must rattle around it!