To have gone a bit "woo"?

[Sellingsunsets]

First of all I am the most un religious and sceptical person ever. And I mean ever.

But lately, and I can't explain it at all, it's so weird but I have this overwhelming desire and thoughts about the universe, after life and spirituality. Obsessing over what the universe is trying to tell me, obsessing over getting a message or a sign from a loved one. I don't know how to describe it but it's like an overwhelming NEED to know that something is out there. It's come from absolutely no where!! Other than that he fact I've had thought time emotionally and mentally lately and maybe I'm just looking for some comfort?? It's become a bit of an obsession, spending hours researching spirituality, scrolling tik Tok for a message from the tarot readers, and even paying for online psychic readings and predictions, which might I add when inputted into chat gpt to analyze tells me they are just poetic and generalized in such a way to make me relate to them. Even though I'm trying to debunk my thoughts, I still have this unexplained hopeful urge if that makes sense. Desperate to hear a message or confirmation that a dead love one is there.

I think I'm posting here for someone to tell me that I'm being absolutely stupid and the universe is no way trying to send me messages and I am going a bit "woo". For reference I'm early thirties and in no way ever been a believer of any thing of any kind and Always been a black and white thinker.

Anyone else relate?? Or can give me some thoughts,insights?

think I'm posting here for someone to tell me that I'm being absolutely stupid and the universe is no way trying to send me messages and I am going a bit "woo

You're being absolutely stupid and the universe is no way trying to send you messages, you're just going a bit woo.

Thank you! 😂

Something is missing in your life but it’s not going to be filled by TikTok tarot readings. The universe doesn’t send messages and the future is not knowable.

work out why you feel like this

You're welcome 😂
Actually I think it's normal during a bad time to seek comfort from sources you wouldn't usually turn to, just try not to let it become an obsession. Maybe the universe will tell you something if you stop looking so hard?

Try joining a church (any religion from Buddhism to Christianity, etc) if you are looking for spiritual involvement, at least you will be talking to real people about long held beliefs. Trawling the internet for charlatans is not where to find spirituality, just a way for someone to fleece you.

Yes I think I'm just feeling a bit bored and unfulfilled and often find myself thinking about the fact I feel like I'm wasting my life

I've found a spiritualist church in my area and I intend to go (mostly out of curiosity) but I went on their website and it's coming across as cult-ish which makes me uncomfortable.

Just to add, I do have diagnosed OCD which is and has always been more of an intrusive thought which then becomes obsessive, and have been very unwell in the past with it. Im unsure whether this is a flare up and this is a "theme".

No shit! Church is a bit culty - shock!

Not sure a spiritualist church would meet my criteria, go mainstream. If I were to join one I quite like the ideas of Buddhism, reincarnation, future lives and possibly of meeting the same people again all though in different incarnations. I don't really know much about it and would probably never follow it up but always sounds intriguing and in a way logical that you don't just get one try at life.

Sounds like you have an unfulfilled need and you’re looking for validation of some sort? I do this too, I’m not doom scrolling I’m looking for guidance

I don't know, plenty of people are interested in spirituality and I don't think you're being 'stupid'. I get like this sometimes and it's usually when I'm feeling anxious or at a crossroads in my life, but I don't see anything wrong with it if it provides comfort. I think it could be concerning if you're spending lots of money or becoming obsessed. Life is bizarre, we don't know why we're living on a planet in a never ending universe, we don't know what happens when we die, there's so many unanswered questions so to be contemplating these isn't so strange.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being curious per se, OP, and it's quite natural for us to look for answers when life can become difficult or even a bit dull. I would say to approach with caution, especially spiritualism and mediumship- They can easily take advantage of the vulnerable and grieving, even when they mean well. And don't get into the crystal/spiritual side of TikTok. If the Universe is trying to speak to you, it will do it outside in nature!

I think spiritualism is too weird and spooky. I attended twice out of curiosity and noticed a lot of the mediums just look downright weird.

Faiths are ok in moderation as they can bring solace and comfort and a community.

I have studied 3 faiths and of the 3 I have looked into I find church the best for community. Although there are many areas I do not believe about Jesus - most of his miracles and the book of revelations for example - the Anglican church is very tolerant and accepting.

Yes, I can agree I am feeling very unfulfilled. I just find it strange that this is the route I've chosen to get curious about when it's otherwise something that has never even occured to me or been of interest.

Of course it's all nonsense, but it is perfectly understandable when you've been through a difficult time to look for something external to reassure you.

My son does tarot reading as a hobby. His perspective is that there's no truth to "the cards", but there is something in how people interpret them, it clarifies what they're seeking.

Like flipping a coin to decide, and being mad that it came up with the 'wrong' outcome, how people react to the cards tells him what it is they want to figure out.

People are storytellers. If there isn't a narrative that makes sense of things, we seek one out. That doesn't make it real or scientific, it's just part of human nature.

As a fellow ocd-er, it’s 100% a theme. It feels like it isn’t, it feels real, but it’s a theme… it’s just the ocd brain looking for certainty where it doesn’t exist. Try to think of other ways to honor your loved one, like a walk in a place they loved, or sprucing up their grave. And strictly ban yourself from paying for readings.
And have some hugs - sounds like you’ve been having a hard time recently ❤️

Thank you! It's so strange because said loved one has been dead for 15 nearly 16 years! While I think about him often without sounding heartless- I have never had any desire to communicate with him or to "know" he is there if that makes sense. I think I started looking for clarity on another situation and it had developed from there into this "theme". My them s have always been health, dying, death, bad things happening etc so makes sense how my OCD has evolved.

Why don’t you try a different kind of church - like CofE, Methodist or whatever you have in your area? You might need to try a couple to find your best fit. Even if you’re not super religious they can give a sense of community and belonging and often do charitable work like food banks which might help you feel more fulfilled

Thank you! Yes, I was bought up on C of E although we were never strict and would not have said we were super religious but it was more of a community thing rather than religion. I don't know. I feel like going to a more mainstream church I worry I would feel pressured and have religion pushed onto me which isn't what I want. I want to go and see for myself, see the proof, etc and spiritual churches claim to have this "proof".

I recently began attending an Anglican/C of E church locally. I could not attend this morning as I have a funny throat today. I have attended twice and trust me there is no hard sell whatsoever.

You may need to attend at least twice to take it in. I could not believe how modern it felt after 40 years not going to church (I am now 62). Centrally heated with a really decent cup of coffee after in the church hall for a donation. No overly intrusive questions just relaxed folk smiling and being pleasant.

Whatever resonates with you. Follow that!

You have gut intuition that you should listen to
you also are a human and we have needs to feel purpose and meaning and a spiritual side
there is so much maths and science to prove how much we are connected to cosmic events and vibrations in the earth etc it can’t all be untrue - if the moon effects the seas tide is must effect us

I did the same after my brother died and of late I’ve thought ‘I went a bit mental there for a while’

I lost my brother at a young age 16 years ago now and I look back to try and rememeber how I was feeling at the time, I would have been 17 or so and I cant recall how it felt at the time. Maybe this is some unprocessed grief that has shown up.