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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'Hello' Man on route to the Co-op continuation thread

105 replies

RogueFemale · 10/10/2025 20:55

Because it maxed out at 1,000 comments.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5411895-old-ish-man-on-the-route-to-the-co-op-who-keeps-saying-hello

There were developments after I finally said hello back, yesterday (see p20 of first thread). Turns out my instincts were correct.

I just want to clarify a few things.

I do walk on the other side of the street to his door, where he stands. He shouts across the street at me.

There isn't a convenient alternative route to the Co-op (where I go not just for milk or whatever, but because it's a post office). It's do-able, but it would be a 20m walk instead of 7m.

Although many of you think I'm mean, nasty and unfriendly, despite this I have easily established friendly contact with other neighbours since moving here, and have said hello etc as normal.

I have past experience of family members with mental health conditions (e.g. dementia, learning disabilities). I don't judge on that basis, but I do judge on the basis of whether a person might represent a threat to me, and my perception, right or wrong, of their mental health may form a part of that assessment.

This man's behaviour makes me feel uncomfortable and despite the fact that I've repeatedly ignored him, he has continued to shout at me when I go past. A normal person would get the message, so it's worrying that he doesn't.

It's also weird that so many of you think women and girls should 'be nice' to potentially creepy men.

OP posts:
BreakfastOfChampignons · 10/10/2025 20:58

So what were the "developments"?

CalzoneOnLegs · 10/10/2025 21:00

Not this nonsense again please

RogueFemale · 10/10/2025 21:00

BreakfastOfChampignons · 10/10/2025 20:58

So what were the "developments"?

As I said, see p20 of previous thread.

OP posts:
RogueFemale · 10/10/2025 21:01

CalzoneOnLegs · 10/10/2025 21:00

Not this nonsense again please

It's fine to ignore me, you don't have to comment.

OP posts:
ibecruising · 10/10/2025 21:02

Ok so he’s not a nice man. What’s the point of starting this second thread?

MyAcornWood · 10/10/2025 21:07

I can’t see a single ‘development’ at all, what actually happened? This is all so weird

BreakfastOfChampignons · 10/10/2025 21:08

RogueFemale · 10/10/2025 21:00

As I said, see p20 of previous thread.

But there are no "developments" on P20

Doggymummar · 10/10/2025 21:09

Nothing happened 😕

Screwyoudavid · 10/10/2025 21:16

I just read the entire thing and still don't understand why you would have started two threads about such a non issue. Even better your sarky answers to everyone.

missmollygreen · 10/10/2025 21:18

Screwyoudavid · 10/10/2025 21:16

I just read the entire thing and still don't understand why you would have started two threads about such a non issue. Even better your sarky answers to everyone.

Attention seeking

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 10/10/2025 21:19

If someone asks me to see p20 of a previous thread that's a massive red flag and a sign I will not be reading any further.

Good day to you.

LittleGreenDragons · 10/10/2025 21:21

RogueFemale · 10/10/2025 21:00

As I said, see p20 of previous thread.

I don't have 20 pages (many people don't) so I assume my settings are different to yours. Can you c/p it onto here?

It's also weird that so many of you think women and girls should 'be nice' to potentially creepy men.
That is not what the other posters were saying. It's strange you read it that way.

Keroppi · 10/10/2025 21:23

Being told to smile is very annoying. I would feel weirded out that he hangs around and yells hi to everyone/every woman and wouldn't respond always either. Perhaps a nod or a smile if we caught eyes.

I would go back to headphones in and ignoring, regardless of what side of the road I walk on.

ibecruising · 10/10/2025 21:24

LittleGreenDragons · 10/10/2025 21:21

I don't have 20 pages (many people don't) so I assume my settings are different to yours. Can you c/p it onto here?

It's also weird that so many of you think women and girls should 'be nice' to potentially creepy men.
That is not what the other posters were saying. It's strange you read it that way.

here is her update from the previous thread

RogueFemale · Today 01:37
Update. After the pile on on here, I thought maybe I was being unreasonable (well, not really, but anyway...) and so I nervously replied hello to the man today. Paunch, t-shirt and joggers. Hadn’t seen him in a while.
He responded with along the lines of give us a smile, and then 'people need to smile more'. People = women, because you can fucking bet he isn’t asking passing men to smile for him.
I just carried on walking, didn't know what to say.
So, yeah. I’m going stick with my initial instinct.

Sandy483 · 10/10/2025 21:37

The update is on P40, not P20. The bloke told the OP to smile more and said that people need to smile more. What are you looking to get from this new thread OP?

QuirkyHorse · 10/10/2025 21:43

This all seems to be something about nothing 🤷🏻‍♀️
Say hello, don't say hello, smile, don't smile.

Is this a regional thing?
What region of the country are you?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 10/10/2025 21:45

I don't understand how his asking you to smile means he's a creepy man, though.

FreyjaOfTheNorth · 10/10/2025 21:46

Jesus Christ. No one cares.

KaySarah · 10/10/2025 21:52

From the way you said you were right about your instincts I thought he attacked you or something. I’m very very glad that’s not the case but you updated your first thread and that should have been that once it hit 1000 messages. He told you people should smile more, making a second thread doesn’t make any sense.

You say you think he is mentally ill, he may well be none of us here know, but you’re not coming across as someone who is mentally stable either. I know this is flippantly thrown around but do you have anxiety issues? If yes are you getting any help?

user1476613140 · 10/10/2025 21:53

Well, I think he has upped the ante and has read this thread. How else can you explain why he isn't taking the hint?

switchoffplease · 10/10/2025 21:59

Take an umbrella with you, angle it towards him like a shield and use it to deflect his hello.

EchoedSilence · 10/10/2025 22:01

Are you quite well, Op?

ilovesooty · 10/10/2025 22:06

switchoffplease · 10/10/2025 21:59

Take an umbrella with you, angle it towards him like a shield and use it to deflect his hello.

🤣 That will look a bit peculiar if it's not raining. Perhaps she could invest in a ladylike parasol.

switchoffplease · 10/10/2025 22:12

Yes or one of those big floppy sun hats at a jaunty angle

YouMightLikeCats · 10/10/2025 22:14

RogueFemale · 10/10/2025 21:00

As I said, see p20 of previous thread.

You can't really direct people to pages of threads as they can be set up to have differing numbers of posts per page so the page numbering won't be the same for everyone.