Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take my son to A&E on Monday

252 replies

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 14:50

Deep breaths.

I know I'll get attacked for this, as A&E is for life/death emergencies, but my heart is breaking for my son and I must help him.

He's 13 and autistic. For several months, he has had extreme fatigue, gradually getting worse over time. He is losing weight rapidly and is now clinically underweight. He looks skeletal, sleeps all day and has chronic constipation, despite daily prescribed laxatives. When he finally has a poo, there is a lot of blood. He is in pain (lower stomach and bum) - I worry he's developing fistulas or worse. His mouth is full of ulcers. He has had blood tests which show hugely raised inflammation markers. We are waiting for a stool test. The community paediatrician strongly suspects Crohn's and has put in an urgent referral to the city hospital. The hospital estimate 4 weeks till he can be seen (despite the paediatrician pleading for him to be seen within days as he is so sick). 4 weeks! No treatment.

I phoned the hospital in desperation and asked if I took him to A&E could he get treatment. The nurse said he would not get the specialised treatment he needs over the weekend as the consultant has gone home, but we might be successful on a weekday before 5pm if we try A&E then.

My thinking is: help him through weekend as best as possible and then rush him in on Monday?

OP posts:
GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 10/10/2025 14:52

Absolutely take him.

ExitPursuedByABare · 10/10/2025 14:53

Do it. I’ve been told to go to A&E to get seen by the orthopaedic team rather than await an appointment.

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 10/10/2025 14:53

And don't listen to anyone else.
If your instinct is telling you he needs seeing urgently then do whatever you need to make that happen.

Canopop · 10/10/2025 14:54

Yes take him.

Is he managing to eat and drink anything? Does he engage with anything like tv or games?

TokyoSushi · 10/10/2025 14:54

Poor love, yes, definitely go - good luck!

Anon572747525991 · 10/10/2025 14:58

Reading the title I was preparing to say no, but on reading your OP, 100% yes! You must be worried sick!

Only other option is to ask your GP to refer him directly to a ward?

rainbowsandraspberrygin · 10/10/2025 15:02

Go. Poor thing. Sounds awful. I hope he gets some treatment. Please let us know. Sending good vibes

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:05

Wow, thank you for the responses. I'm crying at work.

I wish I could take him right now but it doesn't sound like they'll be able to do anything for him without the consultant.

Is our NHS so bad that they let a child endure such pain, lethargy and probably damaging himself as time goes on, increasing his risk of needing surgery. Is this how bad our health system is now??

OP posts:
RappelChoan · 10/10/2025 15:06

Poor lad and poor you. I agree take him Monday, unless there are any other hospitals you can get to that run things differently and would have someone available over the weekend?

siliconcover · 10/10/2025 15:06

Yes, take him in to A&E. He's clearly suffering & cannot access timely medical treatment.

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:06

Only other option is to ask your GP to refer him directly to a ward?

Is this a thing?

OP posts:
Canopop · 10/10/2025 15:06

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:05

Wow, thank you for the responses. I'm crying at work.

I wish I could take him right now but it doesn't sound like they'll be able to do anything for him without the consultant.

Is our NHS so bad that they let a child endure such pain, lethargy and probably damaging himself as time goes on, increasing his risk of needing surgery. Is this how bad our health system is now??

No they need the consultant I get that BUT if he is dehydrated and not eating then they will admit him and give him fluids and stuff to make him feel better in the meantime so please just take him now to be honest

ThatLadyLady · 10/10/2025 15:06

Take him now.

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:08

Absolutely take him. The alternative is to get your gp to make an urgent referral to your nearest paediatric gastroenterology service but do check the wait times.

Fwiw my ds (also autistic) was admitted to hospital with (what turned out to be) acute crohns disease via A&E. We were waiting on an urgent appointment but he just got to the end of the road and we couldnt wait aother day. You dont need to wait til Monday either, my ds was admitted on a Saturday night (and was then kept in for 3 weeks so pack an overnight bag).

It is very common for young crohns patients to enter the system via a&e. Also, crohns /uc and autism are very often co-morbid which increases the chances that this is what's wrong with him.

Good luck

mirrorsandlights · 10/10/2025 15:08

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:06

Only other option is to ask your GP to refer him directly to a ward?

Is this a thing?

Some hospitals have day wards where you go during the day for treatment and home at night. I was in one for two days prior to being admitted. There will be a consultant in charge. It’s worth asking A&E about as they can refer and it might suit your son’s situation.

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:08

I'm so desperate I will disclose my location. I'm in the North East. The hospital in question is the RVI Newcastle. It's supposed to be the best in the area for pretty much everything, but especially children.

OP posts:
TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:09

Absolutely take him. The alternative is to get your gp to make an urgent referral to your nearest paediatric gastroenterology service but do check the wait times.

Fwiw my ds (also autistic) was admitted to hospital with (what turned out to be) acute crohns disease via A&E. We were waiting on an urgent appointment but he just got to the end of the road and we couldnt wait aother day. You dont need to wait til Monday either, my ds was admitted on a Saturday night (and was then kept in for 3 weeks so pack an overnight bag).

It is very common for young crohns patients to enter the system via a&e. Also, crohns /uc and autism are very often co-morbid which increases the chances that this is what's wrong with him.

Good luck

CoastalCalm · 10/10/2025 15:09

Absolutely take him , I was fobbed off for three years saying I had IBS and not Crohn’s - by the time I was finally diagnosed I needed a stomach bypass and large section of colon removed as so much damage had been done in the meantime

TokyoSushi · 10/10/2025 15:10

I'm also wondering whether it's just worth taking him today and seeing what they say?

upanddownandupanddown · 10/10/2025 15:10

One of my friends DS has Crohns; he was sent to the RVI from a local hospital for treatment so I would say that is definitely the right place to go. But if he is unwell, go today. They will at least be able to give him fluids in the meantime.

Gizlotsmum · 10/10/2025 15:11

Take him today even if he can’t see a specialist they will be able to make sure he is hydrated and more comfortable

Needspaceforlego · 10/10/2025 15:11

I'd get him to A&E this afternoon. Why wait until Monday?
Well i know why but logically they must have something that can deal with him today

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:11

Canopop · 10/10/2025 15:06

No they need the consultant I get that BUT if he is dehydrated and not eating then they will admit him and give him fluids and stuff to make him feel better in the meantime so please just take him now to be honest

he's eating and drinking okay, but gaining zero weight and has zero energy - can't even have a shower without breaking into tears from exhaustion.

OP posts:
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:13

If any journos are reading this, feel free to reach out.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread