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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my son to A&E on Monday

252 replies

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 14:50

Deep breaths.

I know I'll get attacked for this, as A&E is for life/death emergencies, but my heart is breaking for my son and I must help him.

He's 13 and autistic. For several months, he has had extreme fatigue, gradually getting worse over time. He is losing weight rapidly and is now clinically underweight. He looks skeletal, sleeps all day and has chronic constipation, despite daily prescribed laxatives. When he finally has a poo, there is a lot of blood. He is in pain (lower stomach and bum) - I worry he's developing fistulas or worse. His mouth is full of ulcers. He has had blood tests which show hugely raised inflammation markers. We are waiting for a stool test. The community paediatrician strongly suspects Crohn's and has put in an urgent referral to the city hospital. The hospital estimate 4 weeks till he can be seen (despite the paediatrician pleading for him to be seen within days as he is so sick). 4 weeks! No treatment.

I phoned the hospital in desperation and asked if I took him to A&E could he get treatment. The nurse said he would not get the specialised treatment he needs over the weekend as the consultant has gone home, but we might be successful on a weekday before 5pm if we try A&E then.

My thinking is: help him through weekend as best as possible and then rush him in on Monday?

OP posts:
IndoorVoice · 10/10/2025 15:33

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:22

Its really not. Watching your child die by inches whilst the NHS faffs around refusing to act makes you want to use any means possible to get them help.

Show quote history

Agreed. I’d have thought it was obvious, too!

JifNtGif · 10/10/2025 15:33

ThatLadyLady · 10/10/2025 15:32

Yes, it is, and it can be done.

Show quote history

A GP could refer directly to an emergency care unit such as SDEC or similar but not to ward, no.

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:34

turkeyboots · 10/10/2025 15:32

Until your DS has a colonoscopy, endoscopy and a small bowel MRI, nothing is definite. But A&E can treat the immediate symptoms to tide him over until investigation and a proper treatment plan.

Thank you - how could A&E treat the symptoms?

OP posts:
user593 · 10/10/2025 15:34

I would go. Our GP thought there was a remote chance my son had Non Hodgkins Lymphoma once and said rather than a referral she’d suggest we go straight to A&E (which we did, and they were able to rule it out there and then). I hope your son is on the mend soon.

Soupdragon41 · 10/10/2025 15:35

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:06

Only other option is to ask your GP to refer him directly to a ward?

Is this a thing?

Yes it is

SecretNameAsImShy · 10/10/2025 15:35

Yes definitely. Sounds like an A&E situation to me

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:35

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:13

If any journos are reading this, feel free to reach out.

For what reason? Do you want them to tell your son’s story or so you can slate the NHS?

rainbowruthie · 10/10/2025 15:35

Another saying take him today.
Sending lots of healing vibes his way

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:37

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:35

For what reason? Do you want them to tell your son’s story or so you can slate the NHS?

Show quote history

No child should be left to suffer like this - the NHS needs help. Political pressure, awareness, I don't know. Why shouldn't people be informed?? It could be your child tomorrow.

OP posts:
ToutesetBonne · 10/10/2025 15:37

You've had an A&E doctor tell you to go now (I agree - ex-nurse). Please just do it.

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:39

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:17

Thank you for sharing this. When he was admitted at the weekend, was he given treatment immediately?

What happened during the three weeks he was in hospital? How old was he at the time?

Show quote history

He was 14. When they triaged him they immediately checked for diabetes as he'd lost so much weight. Then he had to wait till every last snotty toddler had been seen (2am) before he saw a doctor. After that everything happened very quickly - bloodtests, an ultrasound to check for appendicitis (his c-reactive protein was through the roof), then a drip for rehydration and pain relief and onto the ward.

We didn't know what was wrong then so he saw consultants from infectious diseases and gastro (that was the Sunday) and for the next 5 days they did endless blood and stool cultures. By that point he looked like a skeleton, and was given iv antibiotics as they found he had c.difficile.

Week 2 he had an mri and a colonoscopy and was given a diagnosis of crohns. At that point he also had medically-induced anorexia as he just couldn't eat at all.

Kept in for a third week to transition onto a liquid diet (using a pump and ng tube as he couldn't bear the taste of the shakes) and refeeding programme. Once his weight started to climb we were allowed to go home but he stayed on the liquid diet for another 6 weeks before starting to reintroduce solids and starting treatment with meds.

IndoorVoice · 10/10/2025 15:39

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:35

For what reason? Do you want them to tell your son’s story or so you can slate the NHS?

Show quote history

Or… could it possibly be she’s desperate for her son and is hoping to get attention for his case and some help? I mean, not as fun as your suggestions though.

turkeyboots · 10/10/2025 15:40

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:34

Thank you - how could A&E treat the symptoms?

Show quote history

Short term you should be looking at fluids, pain relief and investigation and management of any infection markers. If hes unable to walk due fatigue and loosing a lot of blood, short term steroids could be a possibility too.

BadgernTheGarden · 10/10/2025 15:40

If you think he needs to go to A&E go now, if the consultant isn't there (and I would imagine they are very rarely available to A&E anyway) he will be assessed and if he's that poorly he can be admitted and looked after until a consultant is available. If he's bleeding from the bowel that may well need emergency treatment.

SilverSpruce · 10/10/2025 15:42

I’d take him now to get his observations taken and bloods checked. It will reassure you that he’s well enough to be at home for the weekend and bloods usually come back quickly - if they don’t, they will be ready for the consultant on Monday morning.

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:45

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:39

He was 14. When they triaged him they immediately checked for diabetes as he'd lost so much weight. Then he had to wait till every last snotty toddler had been seen (2am) before he saw a doctor. After that everything happened very quickly - bloodtests, an ultrasound to check for appendicitis (his c-reactive protein was through the roof), then a drip for rehydration and pain relief and onto the ward.

We didn't know what was wrong then so he saw consultants from infectious diseases and gastro (that was the Sunday) and for the next 5 days they did endless blood and stool cultures. By that point he looked like a skeleton, and was given iv antibiotics as they found he had c.difficile.

Week 2 he had an mri and a colonoscopy and was given a diagnosis of crohns. At that point he also had medically-induced anorexia as he just couldn't eat at all.

Kept in for a third week to transition onto a liquid diet (using a pump and ng tube as he couldn't bear the taste of the shakes) and refeeding programme. Once his weight started to climb we were allowed to go home but he stayed on the liquid diet for another 6 weeks before starting to reintroduce solids and starting treatment with meds.

Show quote history

My gosh, how hard for you and him. Did he eat at all during the first week?

My son is eating but losing weight.

OP posts:
Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:45

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:37

No child should be left to suffer like this - the NHS needs help. Political pressure, awareness, I don't know. Why shouldn't people be informed?? It could be your child tomorrow.

Show quote history

People know the NHS is struggling, we know about the wait times, of course no child or adult should be suffering, it’s not good enough.
It could be your child tomorrow.
It took almost 2 years for my child to get a diagnosis of something so whilst I understand your frustration slating the NHS isn’t the way to get you help.
I would take your son today regardless of if a consultant is there or not, they maybe able to help with pain etc

mamagogo1 · 10/10/2025 15:47

All hospitals have access to consultants 24/7. They may consult via the phone to ascertain if it can wait until their next scheduled shift but they are on call, smaller hospitals may refer to larger ones. The question is whether it’s a treatment needed today scenario or something that he’s in the pipeline for already so a&e can’t do any more, nobody wants to see their child ill but drs know the difference between an emergency and a very worried parent. (I’m not a doctor, I’m that parent and sometimes a&e helped, sometimes it didn’t and one time we drove the hour to the children’s hospital because our local hospital I knew didn’t have the expertise)

LemonJellyLegs · 10/10/2025 15:48

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:08

I'm so desperate I will disclose my location. I'm in the North East. The hospital in question is the RVI Newcastle. It's supposed to be the best in the area for pretty much everything, but especially children.

Please take him in, you must be so worried x no-one will knock you for it

Petitchat · 10/10/2025 15:49

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:35

For what reason? Do you want them to tell your son’s story or so you can slate the NHS?

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I would have thought to simply publicise the desperate situation her son is in and hopefully get some help?

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:50

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:45

My gosh, how hard for you and him. Did he eat at all during the first week?

My son is eating but losing weight.

Show quote history

Yes, a little but less and less each day as eating made the pain worse. By week 2 he really wasn't eating at all - maybe 400 calories on a good day (once we started the refeeding we had to gradually up that to 3000 calories a day)

foofyboobies · 10/10/2025 15:52

You must be so worried, your poor boy. As someone else has said, I think you should take him today, at least he will be seen and made comfortable.Trust your instincts.
Sending a virtual cuddle.

SilverSpruce · 10/10/2025 15:52

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:35

For what reason? Do you want them to tell your son’s story or so you can slate the NHS?

Show quote history

https://www.england.nhs.uk/patient-safety/marthas-rule

There would be no Martha’s Rule if Martha’s Mum hadn’t been a journalist.

@PuppyKeep you know your son best and you absolutely can take him to A&E for an urgent assessment.

NHS England » Martha’s Rule

NHS England » Martha’s Rule

https://www.england.nhs.uk/patient-safety/marthas-rule

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:52

Coconutter24 · 10/10/2025 15:45

People know the NHS is struggling, we know about the wait times, of course no child or adult should be suffering, it’s not good enough.
It could be your child tomorrow.
It took almost 2 years for my child to get a diagnosis of something so whilst I understand your frustration slating the NHS isn’t the way to get you help.
I would take your son today regardless of if a consultant is there or not, they maybe able to help with pain etc

Show quote history

With all due respect, the OPs son doesn't have 2 years.

GiddyDog · 10/10/2025 15:52

I would take him now, there may not be a gastro consultant on over the weekend but there will be an on call consultant and if he's as sick as he sounds then he could be admitted for IV fluids at least then reviewed by a specialist on Monday. My heart goes out to you OP this is an awful situation.