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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take my son to A&E on Monday

252 replies

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 14:50

Deep breaths.

I know I'll get attacked for this, as A&E is for life/death emergencies, but my heart is breaking for my son and I must help him.

He's 13 and autistic. For several months, he has had extreme fatigue, gradually getting worse over time. He is losing weight rapidly and is now clinically underweight. He looks skeletal, sleeps all day and has chronic constipation, despite daily prescribed laxatives. When he finally has a poo, there is a lot of blood. He is in pain (lower stomach and bum) - I worry he's developing fistulas or worse. His mouth is full of ulcers. He has had blood tests which show hugely raised inflammation markers. We are waiting for a stool test. The community paediatrician strongly suspects Crohn's and has put in an urgent referral to the city hospital. The hospital estimate 4 weeks till he can be seen (despite the paediatrician pleading for him to be seen within days as he is so sick). 4 weeks! No treatment.

I phoned the hospital in desperation and asked if I took him to A&E could he get treatment. The nurse said he would not get the specialised treatment he needs over the weekend as the consultant has gone home, but we might be successful on a weekday before 5pm if we try A&E then.

My thinking is: help him through weekend as best as possible and then rush him in on Monday?

OP posts:
ThatLadyLady · 10/10/2025 15:14

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:13

If any journos are reading this, feel free to reach out.

What a strange thing to say?

Endofyear · 10/10/2025 15:14

I would take him today, don't wait till Monday! Poor love, they will probably keep him in and give him some i/v fluids and let him have some bedrest until the consultant comes round on Monday. Hope he is feeling better soon 💐

HeartandSeoul · 10/10/2025 15:15

I don’t have anything extra to add to the previous helpful replies, but I just wanted to say that you sound like a wonderful Mum, OP, and I felt really emotional reading your post.

Often we are rubbish at advocating for ourselves, but it’s a completely different story when it is our babies (however old!)/a loved one. I wish him (and you) all the best.

anotherbeebeingbusy · 10/10/2025 15:16

I would take him in today. Even if they can't deal with it properly until Monday, surely they will be able to admit him and make him feel more comfortable.

So sorry to read all this. You are doing amazing, being your son's voice when he needs you most

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:17

TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:08

Absolutely take him. The alternative is to get your gp to make an urgent referral to your nearest paediatric gastroenterology service but do check the wait times.

Fwiw my ds (also autistic) was admitted to hospital with (what turned out to be) acute crohns disease via A&E. We were waiting on an urgent appointment but he just got to the end of the road and we couldnt wait aother day. You dont need to wait til Monday either, my ds was admitted on a Saturday night (and was then kept in for 3 weeks so pack an overnight bag).

It is very common for young crohns patients to enter the system via a&e. Also, crohns /uc and autism are very often co-morbid which increases the chances that this is what's wrong with him.

Good luck

Thank you for sharing this. When he was admitted at the weekend, was he given treatment immediately?

What happened during the three weeks he was in hospital? How old was he at the time?

OP posts:
turkeyboots · 10/10/2025 15:19

A large hospital should have gastro consultants call over the weekends. My DS has Crohns and it can become very serious very quickly.
I'd go now rather than wait.

Periperi2025 · 10/10/2025 15:19

So long as you are prepared to be sent away to await the appointment you're sons been referred for, then there is nothing to lose from going to A&E and potentially everything to gain. Get there early, take snacks and drinks.

dollyblue01 · 10/10/2025 15:19

Yes definitely take him, poor child, I’d actually be taking him sooner than Monday if it was me, how awful for you both , hope you get sorted Flowers

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:19

CoastalCalm · 10/10/2025 15:09

Absolutely take him , I was fobbed off for three years saying I had IBS and not Crohn’s - by the time I was finally diagnosed I needed a stomach bypass and large section of colon removed as so much damage had been done in the meantime

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's what I'm worried about.

OP posts:
TeakHam · 10/10/2025 15:22

ThatLadyLady · 10/10/2025 15:14

What a strange thing to say?

Show quote history

Its really not. Watching your child die by inches whilst the NHS faffs around refusing to act makes you want to use any means possible to get them help.

YourAdeptFinch · 10/10/2025 15:23

Sounds just like the state my son was in before he was admitted to hospital for two weeks as an emergency. It was Crohn's and the NHS had been completely useless for 3 years. Can't fault the care he got in hospital and the IBD clinic he has been with ever since but seemingly it needed a crisis for anyone to take us seriously and do anything other than prescribe omeprazole etc

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:23

ThatLadyLady · 10/10/2025 15:14

What a strange thing to say?

Show quote history

I've seen it happen a few times on here - when a service is really bad.

I'm desperate for action.

OP posts:
JifNtGif · 10/10/2025 15:25

PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:06

Only other option is to ask your GP to refer him directly to a ward?

Is this a thing?

No

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 10/10/2025 15:26

Poor kid, this sounds so stressful for you both. Definitely take him.

Fiftyandme · 10/10/2025 15:26

Take him. Bless him.

Crochetqueen1212 · 10/10/2025 15:26

Apologies if its already been suggested, but this very much sounds like bowel disease (e.g crohns) he needs a referal to gastroenterologist, i think he should go to a and e though as if ut is Crohn's it sounds like hes in a bad flare up of it and needs treatment of somekind. I would at the very elast make an urgent go appointment, appreciate those are difficult to get in some areas though.

POTC · 10/10/2025 15:27

When he sleeps do you have any concerns over his breathing? I'm wondering whether there might be some sleep apnoea mixed in there too.
I'd take him now, when I had to take ds in at weekend/evening and a consultant was required they called one in. He was a frequent flyer but not for same thing each time! If they can do that at our small, rural-ish hospital then I'd be very surprised if they can't do it at a big city one!
Actually, ds ended up at Addenbrookes too on one occasion and they called a consultant in on a bank holiday weekend so big city ones can definitely do it!

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:29

Crochetqueen1212 · 10/10/2025 15:26

Apologies if its already been suggested, but this very much sounds like bowel disease (e.g crohns) he needs a referal to gastroenterologist, i think he should go to a and e though as if ut is Crohn's it sounds like hes in a bad flare up of it and needs treatment of somekind. I would at the very elast make an urgent go appointment, appreciate those are difficult to get in some areas though.

We are almost certain it's Crohns - and so is the paediatrician. But we are under the impression that without a consultant my son can not get treatment for his symptoms.

I'm so scared and frustrated.

OP posts:
mintydoggyv · 10/10/2025 15:30

Take him as soon as possible as it appears to be urgent , thinking about you all the best

Original poster
PuppyKeep · 10/10/2025 15:30

Even walking around is too much for him. I would absolutely carry him into hospital and stay for as long as it takes if I thought we'd get treatment.

OP posts:
BernardButlersBra · 10/10/2025 15:31

I vote take him today. The hospital won't want to admit on a Friday before the weekend but that's not your problem -that's their problem. If there is a clinical need they should do. At least they could try to hydrate him, give pain relief etc. There will be doctors and nurses there all weekend. These days it's never a great time to admit. Monday will be busy after the weekend, there will be ward round etc

Plus it could be argued you are happy to wait until Monday then you might as well go down the GP route as it's not an accident or emergency

TreadLightly3 · 10/10/2025 15:31

BernardButlersBra · 10/10/2025 15:31

I vote take him today. The hospital won't want to admit on a Friday before the weekend but that's not your problem -that's their problem. If there is a clinical need they should do. At least they could try to hydrate him, give pain relief etc. There will be doctors and nurses there all weekend. These days it's never a great time to admit. Monday will be busy after the weekend, there will be ward round etc

Plus it could be argued you are happy to wait until Monday then you might as well go down the GP route as it's not an accident or emergency

I agree 100%

ThatLadyLady · 10/10/2025 15:32

JifNtGif · 10/10/2025 15:25

No

Show quote history

Yes, it is, and it can be done.

turkeyboots · 10/10/2025 15:32

Until your DS has a colonoscopy, endoscopy and a small bowel MRI, nothing is definite. But A&E can treat the immediate symptoms to tide him over until investigation and a proper treatment plan.

Soupdragon41 · 10/10/2025 15:33

I would honestly take him sooner rather than later. The particular specialist may not be there but there will be a paediatric team headed by another consultant who would be able to treat some of his symptoms. It sounds like he may need IV fluids.
i am an A&E doctor