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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My boyfriend broke up with me is it normal to still feel happy and positive about life ?

59 replies

Pinkflowers2 · 10/10/2025 12:37

I love him and was happy. He said he left because he wasn’t ready, he thought his life was more sorted than it was. So he ended the relationship as he feels like he’s unsure if we have a future.

I said to him I’m happy and don’t hate him, I’ve got a good job, great people around me, my own place and even though I love him and want to be with him I realised I’m ok with not being with him. And that I appreciate him coming in to my life ect and I understand if he doesn’t feel ready to be serious

He keeps saying I’m glad your happy sometimes randomly and I feel like he doesn’t mean it. He also made back hand comments about me reflecting about being grateful about my life and mentioned I didn’t need him in the relationship even though he tried to be in that position.

we didn’t make it to a year and I tried to explain positions are earned I can’t drop or alter my support network for him when I couldn’t guarantee he was here to stay and he’s kind of proved my point by leaving. I stated imagine if I relied on you like you wanted me to, you leaving would have left me really vulnerable.

I don’t feel as sad as I thought I would and I’m starting to feel like maybe he wasn’t actually there and wanted to support me like I thought but for selfish reasons instead.

im starting to get confused. He doesn’t want a relationship but he still wants to talk and support me through this. He keeps saying how sad and hard this is for him. He’s acting weird about the fact in happy. And he made a funny comment about “we know you’ve done better than most” when I’ve never said that. I was just saying I’m the break up has made me grateful about my life.

OP posts:
nomas · 10/10/2025 14:00

Please block and delete this prick!

So sick of these dickwads who want to remain friends.

He doesn’t want to support you, he wants to leach your energy from you!

TakeMe2Insanity · 10/10/2025 14:02

He expected to leave and for you to be crying boosting his ego. Thats all. Carry on as you are. You are doing well.

Thatmoves · 10/10/2025 14:06

nomas · 10/10/2025 14:00

Please block and delete this prick!

So sick of these dickwads who want to remain friends.

He doesn’t want to support you, he wants to leach your energy from you!

No chance

Sandy483 · 10/10/2025 14:14

I mean maybe he's a complete prick or maybe he's doubting that you ever actually loved him because you don't seem at all bothered that it's over even if you are saying the words (sort of). I mean I'm not suggesting you should be spending your days crying your eyes out but telling someone you're perfectly happy that they ended the relationship doesn't sound like you were very invested.

Jsowny · 10/10/2025 14:14

What is going on is that he was and still is trying to mess with your head.
He wanted you to get upset and beg him not to leave you, and for you to move him to the top of your priorities. He was trying to manipulate you, and still is
Don't waste any more headspace over this man. End contact and get on with enjoying your life

Silvercoconut · 10/10/2025 15:00

mumofoneAloneandwell · 10/10/2025 12:58

😭 he wants you to suffer at losing him

Keep on being happy, it will tear him apart

This is it completely.
It is a test. Probably didn't want to break up with you at all, hence the supporting you through it, in order to worm his way back in.
He must be totally shocked that you're not wailing and begging him to change his mind.
This is what he wants, break up, you cry oh no, he gets back with you, he's done your favour and it proves to him that you need him, you're grateful.
Rinse and repeat.
Nah.

Silvercoconut · 10/10/2025 15:03

nomas · 10/10/2025 14:00

Please block and delete this prick!

So sick of these dickwads who want to remain friends.

He doesn’t want to support you, he wants to leach your energy from you!

🤣
They break up with you and then want to stay friends, it's totally laughable 🤣

Onlycoffee · 10/10/2025 15:07

he still wants to talk and support me through this @Pinkflowers2
Do you mean through him.breaking up with you?
Absolutely not, he doesn't get to do that!
He doesn't seem to understand what breaking up with someone entails.

You need to strengthen your boundaries and draw a line under him.

He sounds like an emotional vampire. He wants you to be needy because it feds his ego, makes him feel important, whilst actually offering nothing of value, not being reliable or committed.

Some people look like they're givers when they are actually taking - he's trying to control you and objectifies you as a "project" to fix and feel good about.

Trickedbyadoughnut · 10/10/2025 15:18

He clearly wants you to be devastated without him ...

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