Maternity pay

[NoMonNoFunx]

What do you All do after 9 months when maternity Pay stops and you want to take the year.
am I being unreasonable to think we should get paid for the year.
I’ve always worked.

The only person going on here about what I have said is you! You aren't even basing your attack on me on facts. Its purely on your blinded misinterpreted view of my comments. Show me where I have said nobody in my circle uses contraception! Oh thats right, you can't, because I haven't said it. I have also not said termination is a form of birth control. I said people may need to have a discussion around it if they were in that situation because there may be occasions where a pregnancy could be detrimental to the mothers physical and mental health. I have not once said have unprotected sex and just have an abortion each time you get pregnant like you are trying to insinuate.

I'd also like you to point out where I've said this 'You’ve said it’s normal to use no form of contraception from the very beginning of a new relationship, advocating unprotected sex with any man a woman goes to bed with as if it’s normal' because I'm absolutely certain I haven't.

Let’s put it this way, if you were a net contributor, 3 months of SMP wouldn’t really make a difference to your household budget, so what the point of your thread?

No, that’s not what you said.

I said “you don’t use no form of contraception if you’re not planning a pregnancy.”

You said “maybe you don’t, but that’s what I did and know lots of others who did the same without planning a pregnancy”.

So you used no form of contraception but didn’t plan for a pregnancy, and know lots of people who did the same.

It’s there in black and white. You said you know lots of people who didn’t use contraception but also weren’t planning to get pregnant. You’ve can try and twist it now but we all see what you said.

I went back to work after 7.5 months. Full pay for 6months and rest was saved up annual leave. I was happy with that as it was full pay for whole
time I was off. We couldn’t afford to drop to SMP so I went back. I would have liked a year off but was actually fine going back. Sometimes you can’t have the year and that’s that. Work have been pretty good to me to be honest and I condensed my 40hrs into 4 days so I have weekend plus one weekday at home with her.

My mum went back to work when I was 12 weeks and my sister was 5 weeks as she only got 6 weeks paid maternity leave, sister was a week late and they couldn't afford for her to take any more time off. They couldn't afford child care either so my dad work days and my mum worked evenings and they crossed on the drive.

I took 14 months off with my daughter - 12 months maternity leave then 2 months sick leave due to pnd. We used my partners wage for my unpaid months. I have a one month old currently and have been off work since 8 weeks pregnant due to redundancy. My redundancy payment out was the equivalent of 6 months take home pay and I have claimed maternity allowance as soon as was able. The rest is covered by my partners wage and his wage does cover all of our outgoings as long as we are careful. I'll start looking for work again when baby is about 6 months.

We are lucky that we have been able to set up finances mostly around a single wage though. This was because my partners job wasn't the most secure earlier in his career.

@JasperTheDoll What is your point exactly?
Some people plan their pregnancies and are able to save in advance to take more time
off, others don’t plan it / don’t plan it much in advance and have to go back to work after 6-9 months. So what?

I said that you don’t use no contraception unless planning a pregnancy. You said that’s what you did and know several others who did the same. That’s what you said.

Someone said you plan a pregnancy and only come off contraception when ready for it, and you said “not if you’ve never used contraception since the beginning of the relationship”. As if that’s normal; you see unprotected sex with a new partner as normal.

You think it’s weird that people actually discuss having a baby with their husband, but then you say that if you do fall pregnant, then thats the moment to discuss it and get an abortion if you don’t want one. So, don’t discuss it before the pregnancy, just after and use termination as birth control.

I'm on Universal credit. Its definitely helped me take longer off.

Perhaps you should go back and re read what is in black and white. I said I know people who haven't had a discussion and stopped taking contraception to proactively plan a pregnancy, not that they just don't use it and hope for the best. People who have fallen pregnant whilst taking the pill, using condoms or even when they have got carried away and forgotten to use anything in the heat of the moment. This does actually happen to lots of people. Not every pregnancy is the result of indepth discussions and planning.

Also have savings

That was my point but one particular poster on here is intent on arguing that I'm advocating that people should have unprotected sex. I was actually initially defending the people who do have to go back to work early because they didn't have the time or opportunity to save but my comments were twisted and used as a personal attack against me.

This. I have a friend who tells everyone she got pregnant on the pill. When she first found out she went on and on about how unreliable the pill was and how she must just be so so fertile. She never took the fucking thing. I had known her for years. She was always missing them, taking two or three together when she remembered instead of daily, forgetting to renew the prescription so taking them every other day so they’d last until she could get the new prescription etc, forgetting to even bring them on holiday and just restarting when she got home. Yeah. Total mystery how she got pregnant “on the pill”.

(I am not saying it doesn’t happen AT ALL. Just that lots of people who claim to have got pregnant on the pill actually weren’t taking it as you are meant to)

@Bobiverse I'd give it up if I were you. You're 100% right and that is exactly what was said but they're going to continue to argue in circles and deny it.

The vast majority of adults do plan when to have children, and have actual adult conversations with their partners about it. Innocently pretending that not using contraception isn't planning to have children is bonkers. And being all surprised that others do plan is equally bonkers.

Your original post was expressing surprise that people plan their children, I know you're rowing back now but clearly you do know as your very own children are using contraception

What you said in reply to what I said, the way it was all worded, did not mean what you think it means or intended it to mean. That is not what you said. Even if you that’s what you meant; you didn’t say that.

You’ve posted that your shocked that people plan pregnancies, you see no contraception as normal, even at the beginning of a relationship, you think it’s odd that anyone talks to their husband about having a baby, unless it’s to discuss termination, and you know lots of other people who also didn’t use contraception.

It’s sad to see women still thinking like this. We have so much available to keep us safe and ensure we don’t get trapped by a baby we don’t want.

No my surprise was that it's seen as expected that people plan to the extent being disused on here with saving up to a year's wages before thinking about trying, and being shocked that nobody seems to think unexpected pregnancies can and do happen.

Find any post saying they are shocked that unexpected pregnancies happen? Not one person has said that.

You were shocked that people plan pregnancies; not about the extent, you were shocked by the entire idea of it and the idea of even talking to your husband at all about trying for a baby.

People plan for their babies, unexpected pregnancy also happen. But you’re the only person on this thread who was shocked by the idea of one of those being an option because… do people actually plan pregnancies? Shock horror.

But a pregnancy isn't unexpected if you aren't taking measures to prevent pregnancy. It's basically inevitable, and you and your DH have made a conscious decision to have a baby by choosing nott o do anything to prevent it. Yes you may have sex whenever you want and not track your cycle or anything, but any resulting pregnancy isn't unexpected

I do not see no contraception as normal. I have not said that, I have said multiple times we are unable to use it due to medical reasons I have said nothing about others chosing not to. I have known from being a young teen that I was unable to use artificial hormonal contraception and unfortunately my choice of partner has a latex allergy so we had no other options. People can still discuss with their husband if they want to have children without it being a 'shall we start trying now' conversation, so yes maybe by planning on having children at some point you could say its planned but not in the way being discussed on this thread. Its not actively planning.

I'm not quite sure how my medical situation means I am thinking in a certain way that you find sad though? Or are you expressing sympathy at my health issues? I can assure you though, I am in no way trapped by my three beautiful children.

Enjoy your day!

Completely not the point of the thread, but can your partner not use non latex condoms? They've been around for years!

You said quite clear that you know lots of others who didn’t use contraception despite not planning to have a baby. Another poster has also confirmed what you said, and you can go back and read it for yourself.

Latex free condoms exist. Please don’t peddle dangerous information like some people cannot medically use any form of contraception as it simply isn’t true.

On a thread discussing the affordability of children and maternity leave, it is incredibly dangerous to leave a poster spouting your nonsense unchallenged. There is always a suitable contraceptive, it is entirely normal to plan children and to even discuss it with your partner, it is entirely normal to use contraception and only come off it when ready for a baby (despite your shock that people actually plan babies).

Not much need for them now as I'm menopausal

Anal was always our preferred method of non medical contraception.

@JasperTheDoll have you ever used so-called natural family planning methods? Withdrawal? Avoiding sex whilst ovulating? If so, that was planning [to not become pregnant]. If not, you’ve been very lucky to only have three pregnancies in 30 years.

And per pp, latex free condoms exist!