Maternity pay

[NoMonNoFunx]

What do you All do after 9 months when maternity Pay stops and you want to take the year.
am I being unreasonable to think we should get paid for the year.
I’ve always worked.

No, I worked in mental health with very vulnerable young adults. A lot of whom had terrible upbringings and didn’t have the knowledge to protect themselves from repeating the cycle because no one taught them about contraception. I’ve seen some really terribly situations.

To see a presumably well educated and articulate adult on a public forum advocate for no contraception and no family planning is mind blowing.

In this scenario at least one pregnancy is highly likely, so it would be prudent to save for it.

Are you seriously claiming that before and during your marriage, you have never once discussed with your husband whether you want to have children, how many, what you would each do about returning to work…?

You’ve got 4 children so unless you are an extremely high earner you are not a net contributor to the system.

And if you were an extremely high earner you wouldn’t be relying on stat mat pay and have no savings.

Where am I advocating for no contraception????? I clearly said myself and my husband were unable to use it. My original point was that not everybody 'plans', some people just go with the flow and if it happens it is a blessing. I have not once said let's all raw dog and fuck the risks. You are reading what you want to read due to your own issues. I have also pointed out that 2 out of my 3 children do use contraception because they havd been educated both at home and in school about such matters. You are clearly targeting me and making ridiculous assumptions about me, my lifestyle and parenting based on your misinterpreted view of my initial comment.

What do you mean symptoms - I am not describing an illness

The vast majority of people with children take from the state, given medical care and schooling. OP may have contributed but she'll have taken out much more than she put in.

And we're not talking about medical care which is an entirely different matter. The state doesn't support me to do DIY, or ride horse. I would pay for that, from my wages. Just as OP needs to pay for her bills, from her or her partners wages. Not from the state bill.

The state does support you to have children. By the time maternity pay runs out most people will be physically healed and most children capable of going without milk for several hours if necessary.

Where does it end? 2 years, 3 when preschool becomes beneficial, until 5 and they're in school?

At some point individual responsibility has to come into play, and in a country where family planning is possible, it absolutely should.

We were both very aware of the fact that accidents can happen if you arent using any contraception but you don't fall pregnant each time you have unprotected sex do you. We were lucky enough to be blessed with 3 children, and both of us wouldn't have had any issues if it had been more.

As for returning to work, we were responsible adults and discussed the pros and cons of me returning full or part time in each instance. Working and motherhood is not the great trauma that MN makes it out to be. You make it work around you and your family.

You were astounded that people would use contraception and only come off if after both partners decided to try for a baby. Said you’d never known anyone in your circle to do that and you didn’t even know that people planned for children.

Now you’re saying that you fully understand contraception and ensured your children use them to avoid unplanned pregnancies… but how can you even believe that an unplanned pregnancy exists?

For an unplanned pregnancy to exist, then planned pregnancies need to exist. But you didn’t even know that people planned pregnancies and were shocked by the idea.

Try a sippy cup.
Two of mine wouldn't take a bottle even in the early days.

No wonder mental health services in this country are in crisis if people who work within them gaslight people like this.

Astounded no? Pearl clutching is something that's reserved for MN not real life. I'm just shocked by the amount of people who claim to save for years and have a timeline for when a pregnancy will occur.

I have never once said that unplanned pregnancies don't exist. I just didn't think that people planned them to the extent that is being discussed on here

Then you simply didnt save enough. You know how much you spend a month. You know how much maternity pay is. You know what you should have saved before having a child to fund it without your partner covering you. Some people are in relationships with others who can fund all outgoings during maternity leave. Some people are not. You need to know which you are and plan accordingly.

re: the bottle. How ling have you left your baby with your partner up to now? And what does he do when baby gets hungry? Babies wont starve themselves. At 9 months baby can also have food and just have milk before and after your work. And throughout the night

My son also refused a bottle. And a sippy cup. A normal cup. A doidy cup. Everything. What worked eventually (although not at 9 months! More like 22months when he finally weaned off me) was a costa babycino mug. Older sibling influence.

Well, again, most responsible adults use contraception until they are ready for a baby, financially and emotionally. Then they’ll stop using it and hope a baby happens.

You were the one saying “well, not if they’ve never used contraception even from the beginning of the relationship” and claiming that that was the norm within your social circle.

It is not the norm. It is perfectly normal and standard to have protected sex with new partners, to continue to have protected sex in an established relationship and only come off the contraception when ready for a child.

Not one person on this thread has agreed with you that never using contraception in a relationship is normal. Or that having unplanned children without even talking to your husband to make sure everyone is ready is normal.

Of course it's planning of a sort. It is planning to have a baby whenever you happen to get pregnant. A deliberate choice.

Again, where have I said that not using contraception is the norm within my circle? I have said that we don't use it because we can't.

The fact that you work in mental health with vulnerable people is worrying when you twist people's words to suit your own narrative and gaslight them.

I will agree with you to an extent on that because there is then a decision to make on if you plan to go ahead with the pregnancy or not which some people would choose not to.

Maybe you dont but I did and I know lots of others who have also done same and not planned pregnancies.

There. A quote from you. I said people don’t just go along using no contraception and having no plans to have children. That was your reply. That you know lots of people who don’t use contraception, but haven’t planned for children.

I used savings. If you don’t have savings you’ll be entitled to universal credit to cover you for those three months. If you have a partner who’s earnings mean you’re not eligible for uc then your partner should be sharing their salary with you!

@JasperTheDoll
You’ve come onto this thread and gone on about your shock that people plan for children, shock that they even have that conversation with their husbands, you’ve claimed that you know lots of people using no contraception despite having no plans to have a child. You’ve said it’s normal to use no form of contraception from the very beginning of a new relationship, advocating unprotected sex with any man a woman goes to bed with as if it’s normal.

And now you’re advocating for termination to be used as a form of birth control. Wow.

I’m perfectly secure in the knowledge that I am a much better influence on vulnerable young adults than you would be.

Then when you got backlash, you’ve tried to claim that you never said any of that.

That doesn't say I know lots of people who didn't use contraception and took risks intentionally each time they had sex. People do fall pregnant whilst using contraception without planning the pregnancy. There has been no point where I have said I know lots of people who don't use contraception. I know of at least 4 people who have fallen pregnant accidentally whilst on the pill. No form of contraception other than abstinence is 100% effective. I didn't realise I needed to give a full history of the sexual activity of anyone I have ever some into contact just to validate your imaginary argument.

Most people who claim they got pregnant whilst using contraception are lying.

I did 6 months, my husband did 6 months.

You can officially go back to work at 11 months and then use your annual leave and bank holidays accrued to not go back until baby is 1

I got pregrnant while using a condom. I think he just have not removed it carefully enough or maybe it split and he didn’t tell me (prick). I didn’t go ahead with that pregnancy but it annoys me when people judge and blame women needing abortions.

Ps op have you tried your baby on sippy cups instead of bottle? They might like to copy parents and big siblings using a cup