To think my direct report is being over sensitive? How to handle this

[Squarestones]

Ahead of a team chat about this later in week, seeking thoughts on how to handle or support or coach my team member.

We;ve just had a team restructure which involved this person (call him A) being promoted and he now has to directly manage/oversee a long-term contractor who works with us. It involves allocating tasks to the contractor on each of his days, as well as allocating tasks to others in the (very small) team.

The contractor has always been a bit prickly. Prone to passive agressive remarks and grumpiness. He's been working for us for about a decade, has excellent knowledge and skills, but is just hard to manage. ON occassion this does result in challenges with external stakeholders who he also handles roughly, but generally this is rare and we remove him from situations where that can be a risk. He's also entirely remote so that adds an extra dimension of it being hard to judge tone in messages etc.

A believes that the contractor's attitude has been worsening since A took over in new role, and that the remarks are becoming more personal. The contractor will often push back on tasks - he will do the thing he's asked but not before setting out his own view on what should be happening. A thinks he is doing this more now.

Sometimes I think A has a point - I have been on receiving end of this behaviour and I know it's annoying. But I just let it go as contractor is good overall and also I know he's having a rough time personally so I take it all as reflecting that rather than a sleight on me.

So in general terms my approach would be to encourage A to do same - just rise above it unless and until the contractor starts to not do his job well at which point we could consider alternatives but our field is very specialist so would be hard to replace him.

Problem is that my job share colleague who leads the team with me thinks differently - they feel we have a duty of care to A as it's his first 'leadership role' and the contractor is making that unpleasant so we should start to look at replacements.

A has sent me and the other team leader screenshots of messages he was upset by last week. To my mind they are just normal grumpiness from the contractor - nothing personal. I think A is reading too much into these small remarks because he is sensitised to it due to one or two more legitimate issues.

I also think that ending our long-term relationship with a contractor who does agood job overall is an over-reaction to A's hurt feelings.

What do you think? Am I being insensitive? Do I have a duty of care to A? Or should we be coaching him to rise above rather than removing the contractor?

For context both A and the contractor are white men but contractor is much older - so it's not a racism or sexism issue, but there's definitely a chance of age-sensitivity on both their parts.

But he's not doing a good job overall; his attitude is unprofessional and has been allowed to continue by this being left unchecked.

I would contact the contractor and make it clear that they are contracted to do X. Their need to constantly critique is not requested and the preference would be for this to cease.

I would simultaneously provide A with more support in how to have difficult conversations/ deal with these issues and how to rise above.

But ignoring the problem isn't the solution.

Hmmm. I think YABU because who are expecting A to put up with unprofessional / inappropriate comms from contractor because you did.

It’s hard to comment as I work with a lot of grumpy older men and I do try to rise above it but there is a point where it’s unpleasant and unprofessional and almost bullying.

A presumably got this promotion because he is good at his job. I think he is entitled to respectful communication from contractor.

As you have a relationship with contractor could you have a chat with him and lightly warn him that he is at risk of being replaced?

You mentioned you have awareness of some personal issues. That however is no excuse for being rude / disrespectful / aggressive or whatever it is, in the workplace.

YANBU because, yes, A should be coached to grow a thicker skin for his own future benefit.

However, i think Contractor needs to be told to wind his neck in.

Due to my fence sitting, I can’t vote, sorry!

It's difficult to say just how bad the contractors behaviour is without examples. But ultimately the guy has complained to you about this contractor so something should be done. Not getting rid of him, but can't you have a discussion about his tone and reiterate code of conduct etc?

You need to make an objective decision about the contractor's conduct: is it inappropriate? Does it amount to misconduct? And take his work out of the equation - if it were anyone else, would they be reprimanded? You could ask HR for advice if you're not sure, but ime they generally follow the line of 'if the recipient was offended, it's offensive.' Within reason of course.

If so, you need to follow your disciplinary procedures (/supply chain equivalent) and just accept that you may lose him. Obviously I don't know the field but there must be other contractors you can use. If A is the one to lead that process, then A will need some guidance and coaching, assuming he hasn't done it before.

If the comments/behaviours aren't inappropriate and don't amount to misconduct then A needs guidance and coaching on people management/handling difficult conversations/conflict resolution, etc. It may be that he's just lacking in confidence, which would be understandable; it's not a great idea to give the newest manager the most difficult employee!

Thanks all for your thoughts.

We have spoken to the contractor before (both me and my job share) about specific incidents which did cross a line and about a general bad attitude which we wanted to address/understand. He has improved in some ways which are probably too niche to explain but it may also be that we've just grown used to him. THe person who did A's role most recently found the contractor fine so there is a sense in which the contractor rails against particular approaches (he really doesn't like a lot of the calls I make when questions are escalated to me, but I guess since I'm the overall team leader I feel confident in making those calls despite his passive agressive remarks on our team Slack channel)

Definitely not going to do nothing, I recognise we need to support A - the question is how.

I think @takealettermsjones has got to the nub of it which is making a call about whether contractor's behaviour amounts to misconduct or not. At the moment I feel it doesn't, but clearly it does matter to A. That's partly what the chat is about - to let A explain his concerns more clearly and work out the best response, I just wanted to clarify my thinking with some external input too. We don't have formal policies for supplier management and I'm not even sure who our HR person is at the moment as they are always changing, so I'm trying to navigate this fairly.

I should add though in response to the comment about not giving the newest manager the most difficult contractor - the team is very small. A is the newest manager but also the only one who performs this role with our contractors so it's not a case of being able to reallocate people. The restructure also resulted in me being moved into a new role which is sort of a promotion but sort of frustrating, giving up bits of my job I enjoyed to do more of the stuff I don't. So am conscious that may be colouring my response to A - a sense that I'm already annoyed about the changes and think he should be thankful he's still doing the stuff which is best in our work.

Sounds like this contractor has been getting away with stuff for too long because the job is specialist and he is abusing that

The contractor has been "rough" with stakeholders!

Ditch the contractor. He isn’t going to change after all these years. No one is irreplaceable in the workplace these days. Personally I would have been planning his removal and a successor year’s ago.

I'd say you need to talk to the contractor and be explicit about what is and isn't acceptable with his behaviour/words. Remind him that he needs to be professional.

I'd also just start looking for replacements, because, let's face it, he isn't likely to change if he's been getting away with it up till now. It does sound like there is an element of agism in it from his side ie he thinks he is older and more experienced and therefore knows better.

Sounds to me like contractor hadn’t been managed properly for a while and needs challenging about their attitude / behaviour

I agree with you, in that it doesn't sound like the contractor is terrible, just a bit contrary. Nevertheless, he isnt entitled to any employment rights so if he doesn't change, maybe do consider starting to phase him out. You could put A in charge of finding a replacement (with your guidance).

I don’t know why you would ever allow a contractor to behave in such a way. You are paying him and you are dictating the expectations of him. His behaviour needs to be respectful and not passive aggressive towards your team. A has a point and I would be very careful to allow an external person to bully your team members for the sake of keeping the peace and keeping the contractor on.

I think yhe first and most obvious step is to have an informal chat with the contractor and give him a clear heads up that you (the company) have a duty of care to employees, and cannot ignore further compaints made about the way he has spoken to staff

It's a long, long time to be a contractor, I hope he's inside IR35...

I think it sounds like the contractor has got too comfortable and has been getting away with behaviour that isn't acceptable as he's been there a long time and hasn't been challenged. And because he's hard to replace, let's face it. Most contractors know they can be terminated very fast if they don't perform or if they piss people off and it sounds as if he's forgotten that and doesn't think the rules apply to him.

It's fine if he pushes back but he needs to be constructive and professional about it. Could you speak to him about how he gives feedback and how to make sure it's done in appropriate manner?

ETA and if he doesn't, terminate him.

Get rid of the contractor and start advocating for your staff.

Give A the task of finding someone who can take on some of the grumpy contractor's work and eventually replace him. This will firstly show you are listening, and secondly it will either solve the problem or illustrate that you are in so much of a niche that the contractor cannot be replaced and must be put up with.

I think you should look at ACAS for employment policies and advice if you don't have them. It's not your job to make calls without ensuring you are following policies and being 'fair' is only one element.

Sounds like the contractor knows his job and how he thinks it should be tackled, but will do it how instructed by A (with some reluctance). The contactor could well be right and you are all missing a trick not learning from his 'on the job' experience, perhaps you all need to sit down together and get to the bottom of the differences in opinion on how jobs should be tackled. In many ways it's good that the contractor gives his experienced opinion rather than just doing what he's told even if it is irritating to you as managers. I think it's good experience for A, to learn to deal with people you don't necessarily see eye to eye with. What you need to aim for is mutual respect between A and the contractor. I've been on both sides of this type of situation over the years bolshy contractors and customers who don't always know best.

Thanks again for the input all - can see I'm definitely viewing this through lens of just wanting to keep the peace, as it were.

@TheStroppyFeminist it is indeed a long time though not continuous - he took time out here and htere and we stopped the contract for financial reasons at one point. At some point the legal team go involved to make sure he wasn't veering into employee territory but I think as his shifts change a fair bit and he works for a variety of other companies (with differing days for us and them) it's sticks vaguely on contractor side. I leave it to the corporate team to worry about that as and when they notice him and a handful of other long-term contractors across the company.

Re giving him feedback another issue I need to work out my thinking on is how exactly to do that - is it enough/appropriate to say that his tone in written comments is upsetting A, even though his words may not actually be offensive? I I can;t really say we don't want him to engage in discussion about the day's tasks because part of the job is discussing them and allocating the priorities - we do want his feedback but we want him to do it in a way which A finds less rude.

To try and give an example, when asked to do yyy he may say "well I can do that, if you want. I was about to do xxx which seemed more urgent due to zzz."

A may at that point say "ok I see that, you can finishe xx and then do yyy"

If A insists the contractor will do yyy, but later if xxx has still not been done because we don't think it's that urgent he'll say "just to flag xxx which I mentioned at 9.12am is still there to be done."

So the words aren't rude. It's just the cumulative impact of him often seeming to question the priorities or decisions A makes. Then sometimes he will be a bit more explicitly rude but hard to give those examples without being too outing

You sound like a terrible manager. Firstly who the fuck seems managerial advice from mumsnet? Is your boss aware you posted this? Would they think it is professional for you to post this, or to even seek advice in this manner instead of speaking to them? You’re discussing private matters on a large public forum.

Secondly, your direct report feels uncomfortable in role. Bad standards of behaviour shouldn’t be tolerated because someone’s good at their role. Sure performance management isn’t easy, but this is a contractor.

Sounds all terribly polite my contractors were often very fond of the 'f' word in giving their opinions!

The thing is if he's a contractor why are you micro managing his work? Fair enough contact him and say we have to have yyy urgently by Friday so can you move things around to fit that in and we don't need xxx until Monday if that helps, sorry to muck you around, let us know as soon as possible if it's a problem.

Thanks @Fabulously I am pretty sure I'm a bad manager for various reaons - including struggling with this kind of performance management issue. I don't have a lot of support for myself in the company and have never had any training on any of this so I'm trying to do better by seeking other views. People seek advice on here for all kinds of personal and professional issues. It's anonymous.

I can see from the posts that I definitely need to change the way I was thinking of this and take a harder line with the contractor. So that's good, in terms of being a better manager.

The problem is you are trying to treat the contractor like an employee, as I said above why are you trying to micro manage his work? He's a separate entity. if you want him to act as an employee, employ him.

It doesn’t really matter how good at a job a person is, if their attitude is bad, then it will affect their colleagues. I’ve worked with people who have terrible, rude attitudes and it makes me anxious to have to speak to them because I know I’m going to be belittled or argued with whereas if I was speaking to another, respectful (normal attitude) colleague, it wouldn’t even cross my mind. People with bad attitudes only get worse over time if they aren’t dealt with. It doesn’t matter what they’ve got going on at home either. If someone is getting paid to do a job, they should do the job well, respect colleagues and be generally pleasant to deal with. If they can’t do that, they should leave. They drag the whole team down with negativity and bad feeling.

Meet with A and advise that you and A will work together on a strategy. Be clear your preference is to keep contractor and get them to improve. Losing contractor very much plan B
With A
Review contractor ts and Cs and measure performance against those
Decide what specific changes you want to contractor to make ideally by reference to ts and cs.
Ask A to schedule a call with contractor with clear ask of improvements. A to make clear timescale for improvement and make clear escalation if not
If contractor does not improve then you/co-manage to speak to contractor
If still no improvement sack contractor

While probably not an employee contractor may still want to make life difficult if canned, so stepped escalation best. But I suspect once A properly manages him issue will go away

I don't see anything wrong with how ypur contractor communicates if that's a typical example.

Admittedly I don't know about the finer points of contractor vs employee expectations but there's nothing wrong with what he said at face value.

He just seems very straightforward.