To think my direct report is being over sensitive? How to handle this

[Squarestones]

Ahead of a team chat about this later in week, seeking thoughts on how to handle or support or coach my team member.

We;ve just had a team restructure which involved this person (call him A) being promoted and he now has to directly manage/oversee a long-term contractor who works with us. It involves allocating tasks to the contractor on each of his days, as well as allocating tasks to others in the (very small) team.

The contractor has always been a bit prickly. Prone to passive agressive remarks and grumpiness. He's been working for us for about a decade, has excellent knowledge and skills, but is just hard to manage. ON occassion this does result in challenges with external stakeholders who he also handles roughly, but generally this is rare and we remove him from situations where that can be a risk. He's also entirely remote so that adds an extra dimension of it being hard to judge tone in messages etc.

A believes that the contractor's attitude has been worsening since A took over in new role, and that the remarks are becoming more personal. The contractor will often push back on tasks - he will do the thing he's asked but not before setting out his own view on what should be happening. A thinks he is doing this more now.

Sometimes I think A has a point - I have been on receiving end of this behaviour and I know it's annoying. But I just let it go as contractor is good overall and also I know he's having a rough time personally so I take it all as reflecting that rather than a sleight on me.

So in general terms my approach would be to encourage A to do same - just rise above it unless and until the contractor starts to not do his job well at which point we could consider alternatives but our field is very specialist so would be hard to replace him.

Problem is that my job share colleague who leads the team with me thinks differently - they feel we have a duty of care to A as it's his first 'leadership role' and the contractor is making that unpleasant so we should start to look at replacements.

A has sent me and the other team leader screenshots of messages he was upset by last week. To my mind they are just normal grumpiness from the contractor - nothing personal. I think A is reading too much into these small remarks because he is sensitised to it due to one or two more legitimate issues.

I also think that ending our long-term relationship with a contractor who does agood job overall is an over-reaction to A's hurt feelings.

What do you think? Am I being insensitive? Do I have a duty of care to A? Or should we be coaching him to rise above rather than removing the contractor?

For context both A and the contractor are white men but contractor is much older - so it's not a racism or sexism issue, but there's definitely a chance of age-sensitivity on both their parts.

@BadgernTheGarden re the micromanaging - it's more just the way the job works - we deal with tasks day by day and if he's on that day we allocate him ones to do. He does shifts, really - one or two days here and the sometimes a week all at once then he's off again, it depends on our needs and his other clients. But agree I/we tend to treat him like an employee, he's been part of our 'team' for a long time.

@ShortAndIntense thank you yes I know what you mean and need to remember this from A's perspective even if I've become a bit immune to the attitude.

@Jeevesnotwooster that's clear and helpful thank you

Yes I think he would see it as he's just straightforward and contributing to the discussion of how to prioritise things. Which is legitimate, he knows the area and we have always operated in a way where we discuss things. So the issue is how to convey to him that A feels undermined/insulted by some of his messages.

It sounds like you should have a succession plan in place for replacing this contractor.

Train or hire a permanent replacement, but in the meantime manage him properly so that he meets the company code of conduct.

He's been working for us for about a decade, has excellent knowledge and skills

Perhaps his long-term expertise and knowhow should be valued more? If he's doing such a good job that replacing him would be tricky, maybe his suggestions are actually the correct, better way to do things?

Especially since, from the example you give, he's speaking up about relatively small process details - a process he must have down pat after a decade - whereas A is frankly micro-managing. Is this an ego thing for A? Is he someone who thinks managing is about stamping his authority on the role and making changes for no real purpose because of that?

Full disclosure, I have been that contractor/freelancer. It's an interesting mindset compared to full-time staff because we're likely to know our jobs, and the industry as a whole, inside out - because we do work outside the company too. With our skills comes a certain independence of mind - we don't have ambitions to climb the ranks in the company (mostly because we have no interest in managing people) and thus we don't necessarily toe the line uncritically. And we offer our opinions because we know our shit.

I don't actually see any of his comments as unduly prickly and certainly nothing I'd call unprofessional. A needs to deal with the fact that the contractor isn't someone he can just give orders to - the contractor expects to be able to offer his opinions, and with his expertise A should be taking his opinions on board and entering into a dialogue with him.

The problem is clearly A, sorry. A doesn't get to feel undermined by a discursive and collaborative process.

Like I thought, this is about A's ego. Older, more experienced and probably smarter contractor has no interest in being deferential or falling into a hierarchical dynamic, and quite right too. A needs to get over himself.

I think ‘conveying to him that A feels undermined’ is totally the wrong approach. You’re making it an ‘A vs contractor’ issue when the issue is, when he is being paid by your company to do a job, he should be professional, respectful and mindful of the chain of command and so far he’s flouted all of this, to the point you’ve had to remove him from situations from external stakeholders. That’s not managing him, it’s papering over the cracks.

I’d start succession planning for his replacement & in the meantime A should keep a log, to help you determine if this person is acting outside code of conduct OR if A needs some management training. If the contractor IS the issue, you present it to him, warn him that this is no longer tolerable & that as much as you value his skill & experience you DO have a business to protect & won’t be entertaining this rudeness.

I do get it, I used to manage a fleet which was 99% men & their attitudes were shocking at times, I was much younger & newer to management & it was easier to let it slide but over time I’d had enough & determined to change them & my responses to them. It wasn’t easy but I coached them in appropriate responses to things that ‘wound them up’ & behaviours & it did improve. It takes time & investment from you though. It was one thing doing it for a team of 8 but for one contractor, you have to ask yourself if it’s worth the hassle - or more time & cost effective to recruit someone who already has the soft skills he’s lacking.

@gannett what comments did you see from the contractor that show his "excellent knowledge and skills"?

Long term knowledge and expertise are very valuable but also can go out of date really quickly in the current market.

Why are you so sure that the contractor is right and that A who as recently promoted, presumably on merit, can't have valid points to make?

Why does A have to automatically have to take his opinions on board? Why can't the contractor respectfully take on-board A's opinions?

Contractor may be out of date, out of the loop of where the business is going, have views that clash with the current priorities of the business - why not communicate this respectfully without grumpiness and ageism?

Are you the contractor?

Business moves fast these days. The contractor with "excellent knowledge and skills" needs to be agile, read the room, be open to change and remember that he can be replaced.

A can be coached on managing people for the benefit of his career and the business at large.

The contractor is not automatically right. I feel like you might be the the contractor -people who cant take feed back, consider alternative perspectives and or working styles, just because of your "history" are horrible to work with.

@Squarestones herself said that he was prickly so it's not like A is making things up out of thin air.

I am interested on your take. Are you the contractor?

A needs to understand that when you start to progress into management that you may not like or have the same working style as the people you manage and that it’s a great skill to learn to work with that and get the best out of those people.

Ask him to keep examples of the interactions he’s struggling with and book time with A weekly to discuss different approaches. A needs some stock phrases to shut these conversations down with the contractor.
Equally this will give you a better understanding of the situation and some time to work out next steps.

I’m not talking about managing people who don’t do their jobs properly or those whose behaviour breaks their employment terms - that’s different. If this is the case with the contractor they should be terminated.

From the example you give it sounds like the contractor is covering his own back rather than being rude. He is being asked to do y first, when he was going to do x. If the delay in x causes a problem in the future he has a paper trail saying that he was doing what he was told if though he had concerns.

I would imagine his own Insurance would like this paper trail if there was ever a claim.

I've worked in offices where long-term contractors started to take us all for granted, and became stroppy and like they were doing us a favour.

I agree with A and your other colleague, here. And if you let the contractor know that you are inviting tenders for ongoing work, I wonder if his attitude will magically improve?... 🤔

@gannett yes interesting on the contractor's perspective - I think he would certainly say he's been in this industry longer than any of us and I do think he has valid views on much of the work we do. I don't want to end up in a situation where he doesn't offer his views because that would remove some of the value he brings.

@TheGirlattheBack this is the approach I'd like to take - it isn't always easy managing people and A needs to understand that not all push back is an attack on him. But I recognise that 1 - I'm not in a good position to coach him given my own weakness in this area and 2 - I'm possibly letting my own emotions colour it given I'm not happy myself at work so a part of me just wants A to get on with it like I'm getting on with my own frustrations

« is it enough/appropriate to say that his tone in written comments is upsetting A »

No! The issue is not that he is upsetting A, the issue is his unprofessional attitude!
I should not mention A at all, there is no issue with how they are behaving, focus your feedback of the contractor. For ex:

It has come to my attention that when given instructions, you are answering in a passive aggressive way to express your disagreement. If you object to tasks or priorities, you are of course welcome to say so but we expect you to do so in a polite way and to accept that decision made at the end.

It would be kind of a coward move to even mention A in order to avoid telling the contractor that you believe their attitude is wrong.

What A feels is really nothing to do with the contractor, A just passes on work requests, A is not the contractor's manager he may be your contract manager and deal with administering contracts. If A can't cope with dealing with contractors without getting emotionally involved that's his problem really. Who's more important to the company the ineffectual manager (that gets hurt feelings) or the contractor that by all accounts delivers the work? I would tell A to just totally ignore any jibes and carry on talking about the work in hand.

Or he could do like a lot of people and blame it all on someone else (probably you, 'not my idea xyz said so'). Or 'sorry you feel like that just doing my job.'

If you think the contractor can be "grumpy" then don't lay it on A being over sensitive.

The next time A has a spiky response, ask A to let you see it then judge for yourself. If its unprofessional, then phone the contractor and tell them "we appreciate your expertise and value your opinions on work processes, but personal comments and derogatory responses to polite requests isnt acceptable".

From a different perspective - is A being professional to and appreciative of the contractor? When A and the contractor disagree agree on how to approach something is A always correct, or are there scenarios where the contractor's experience means their approach is better? It might be worth looking at this, then speaking to both about better ways to communicate. Good contractors are hard to find and get up to speed so it would be worth listening to them as well.

This was my first reaction to be honest but I do also accept the contractor is grumpy so there is sometimes justification for As reaction. But I still slightly feel it's As role (as it has been and still is mine) to rise above the general attitude and get on with it. A works eoy the contractor much more than me so I can see why it impacts him more

Yes, far more likely that the exact same contractor who works with the OP has followed her to MN and is posting an anonymous defence than someone else in the world has similar contracting experience!

My info was based on the OP's posts. She says he has valuable skills and expertise. She doesn't say his knowledge is out-of-date or out of the loop (if this was the case she would have surely mentioned it). She gave an example of one of the clashes, which is substantially more minor than I expected - it's barely even an argument let alone rudeness.

Thanks yes addressing each instance as it arrives might be better than this general approach which A and my colleague want.

OP, the fact that you're asking for advice in the first place indicates to me that you're a better manager than 90% out there!

This! Fair play to you for being thoughtful about this OP. I'm team supporting A but I see the point of the people who are team contractor

I was on the side of A until you gave this example.

There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with what the contractor said. He’s not refusing to do the task, he’s just hilighting something that he doesn’t want to be missed and covering his own arse.

You’ve said you actively want the contractor’s input so you can’t really grumble when he provides his opinion.

I wonder if there’s an element of A being inflexible? Insisting that his original plan was right and refusing to consider whether the contractor has a point? And the experienced contractor can see the wrong decision has been made so is making sure no one drops the ball. Possibly an element of frustration or exasperation from his perspective?

It depends what other comments are like but this example is A being over sensitive.

On a totally separate note though, you are in a vulnerable position if you’re relying on a contractor. Companies should always have succession planning so what’s the plan if the contractor dropped dead tomorrow? No one should be irreplaceable so you should always have options whether that’s due to rudeness or anything else.

I managed a technical, niche team so I understand the difficulties but all of the above still stands. You don’t seem to like your job very much though - have you thought about moving? I hated being a manager because it meant I had to deal with people who were determined to act like dicks. I was much happier when I moved onto something different.

Is the contractor being micro-managed? Does anyone else know how to do his job?

Is A trying to assert his authority now he has been promoted?

IME contractors generally don't get involved in day to day nonsense, they are there to do whatever it is they do and nothing else.

To try and give an example, when asked to do yyy he may say "well I can do that, if you want. I was about to do xxx which seemed more urgent due to zzz."
A may at that point say "ok I see that, you can finishe xx and then do yyy"
If A insists the contractor will do yyy, but later if xxx has still not been done because we don't think it's that urgent he'll say "just to flag xxx which I mentioned at 9.12am is still there to be done."

So what WOULD happen to xxx which I assume A is still responsible for?

It sounds like if A could predict these comments and make sure he doesn't forget things he will automatically have a response and a plan to get xxx done without the contractor having to remind him.

I think this is an excellent solution. Maybe not a replacement for Contractor A but someone additional to him. You then have two available contractors and therefore cover for holidays etc. And it makes A realise that nobody is irreplaceable.

Why all this talk of getting rid at hurdle 1? Why not discuss the problem clearly with the contractor?

Have A tell him that in future he wants their communication to remain respectful. If the contractor doesn’t have good social skills A might have to be very explicit about his side and what he exactly had a problem with.

Heck he can shit sandwich that if he needs to but I don’t recommend that for serial behaviours.

Very valuable for a manager to be coached in that skill.