Very religious colleague

[ThatLadyLady]

I have a new colleague who is young, and very very religious. He isn’t quiet about his beliefs and in some ways I think that’s great, because he feels comfortable enough to be that way.

But in others it’s becoming quite uncomfortable. He will regularly ask people in the office what their opinion is on things like evolution, abortion and gay marriage. If they express a “non-Christian” belief he will laugh, tell them they’re wrong and explain what the bible says about these things. He won’t drop the subject even if people are visibly uncomfortable.

We listen to music in the office and he will object to almost anything that isn’t worship music. Someone played Sam Fender the other day (the consensus amongst the office was that it was a good playlist and we all enjoyed it), he asked for it to be changed because he doesn’t align with “Christian values”. So they switched on a different playlist, the first song was an Olivia Dean song and he started ranting about how she promotes sexual activity outside of marriage and that it’s wrong, women should be waiting until marriage etc.

He also expresses pretty strong views about women dating and it not being for marriage, that it’s “great” he has so many young female colleagues but he thinks we should be looking for marriage and to be a homemaker, etc etc.

I obviously don’t dispute his right to have these views, even if I disagree with them it’s his right. But would I be unreasonable to mention it to my manager quietly because his constant expression of these feelings is becoming quite uncomfortable?

While I don’t disagree with most of what you say, I definitely think a workplace should be able to accommodate talk of gay marriage / general LGB life.

I would hate to work in a place where Steve could announce he was getting married to Sarah, but John can’t announce he’s getting married to Simon. Or where Jane can’t talk about where she and her partner, Susie, went at the weekend but Debbie can talk about going to the cinema with her partner Gary.

I can’t believe that a group of experienced adult women in the workplace apparently need to run to the male manager because not one of them will tell the new, junior male colleague to stop sounding his mouth off about his religion and to mind his own business about other peoples’ beliefs.

I snapped back at him this morning. We had the radio on and a Sabrina carpenter song came on. Yes, it’s not the most appropriate for the workplace, but we have no control over what song comes on next. He was saying how she is living in sin and encourages sin amongst young women. I told him to shut up, that we don’t care and don’t all live to his ideals. The manager in today sort of raised her eyebrow and then laughed and went back to her work.

Quite! Are people really so wet nowadays or is this just "rage bait"?

If someone is deaf, surely they don't care if music is on or off?
Him not liking the music isn't a disability where a reasonable adjustment needs to be put in place to accommodate. In the same way as him believing women should be housewives doesn't mean all the women need to leave the office and go be a good little housewife to accommodate him either.

I was working.

I’ve agreed that I’m going to report him to my manager.

He seems very over-invested in who is and is not “living in sin”.

I couldn’t tell you whether Sabrina Carpenter was even in a relationship, let alone who with and whether they were living together.

Good for you, OP! I think the vast majority of people on this thread are now applauding. Do let us know if he reins it in, now someone's shown some balls (ovaries)!

How is it that he recognises who all these songs are by despite wanting to ban their music?

It’s just utterly bizarre

Most people with 'deafness' experience hearing loss on a spectrum. Maybe they can't hear certain frequencies as well, perhaps they can hear faintly, or maybe they have total hearing loss but can feel bass vibrations?

I'm sort of baffled as to why a Spotify playlist is on in an office environment anyway. Admittedly I've got very limited experience but would have thought there'd be concentration issues with having a radio playing and doing that sort of work?

See also:

"He has a right to freedom of speech, but not freedom from consequence,"

Prevention of speech by threat of consequence is a denial of the freedom of speech. That is the whole point of it.

The equalities act goes to some lengths to balance the differing needs where they seem to conflict and to consider harm to others - shouting “fire” in the proverbial crowded theatre would not meet the criteria for protected free speech, talking bollocks about religion or anything else would be protected in most circumstances. I, in turn, am entitled to ignore them.

Its workplace rules which might prohibit discussion of religion or require civil behaviour. If someone is banging on about religion to the extent the OP claims, disrupting normal business that becomes a work disciplinary issue. However the person being complained about will simply say “I had no idea it was an issue” since not one of the experienced staff complaining about him has actually asked him to stop.

But it's already uncomfortable and difficult, so what's the point in complaining if you don't want to do anything about it?

Obviously he's totally out of order, but there doesn't have to be any nastiness unless he chooses to create it ... you just tell him you find his behaviour deeply offensive and inappropriate to a workplace and ask him to stop

It's when he doesn't that sanctions can be applied, and fortunately protected characteristics are no real defence against being an arsehole

Not particularly? It’s low level background noise, nobody has any complaints aside from this guy!

This is obviously a very difficult situation.
It sounds like you work in a nice environment.
Do you know how others feel? I think if it was a collective point of view rather than you speaking out on your own it might be be easier to get management to take notice.
I am not talking about everyone ganging up on your colleague as you are obviously very respectful but I do think if other colleagues feel as you do it is more likely management will need to act on a collective concern rather than an individual one.

Does his name being with T? Sounds like an ex colleague. He worked in a female dominated office but the women who were socially conditioned to not upset the man, despite him handing out religious scriptures, chastising our ungodly actions and praying for us. God it was hard work and really changed the dynamic. I was quite blunt and he managed to avoid attempting to redeem my soul.

inwould actually steer away from his religion and report his misogynistic views. Religion is a legal minefield that HR will have to tread on eggshells around as it is a protected characteristic. His views on women can be regarded as sexist, so you can give HR some stick if you take that angle.

I’m guessing some sort of religious brainwashing.

if it’s a female artist he’ll loudly say “urgh, is this Sabrina Carpenter/taylor swift/Chappel Roan” and go off on a rant about their sins (I’m guessing from a sermon or something he’s been listening to). When it came to Sam fender he asked who the song was by and went on a rant about how he’s an “anarchist” because one of his songs mentions Gaza - once. Most other pop music he’ll just have some generic complaint about how it’s rotting our brains. One song mentioned Dracula and so he said we can’t listen to that because of that mention (not sure if that’s a religious thing? Or just his personal preference??)

I think it’s quite split. A few of us are really getting pissed off because we’re a lot more liberal in our views. Others just don’t want to upset things.

Deaf people aren’t all totally deaf, in the same way blind people aren’t all totally blind and may be able to see eg light and shadow. Deafness may mean sounds are muffled, or difficult to distinguish spoken word from background noise (even with hearing aids).

OPs colleague seems to not like specific music rather than music, but lots of people with autism or other sensory processing issues would struggle with constant music so turning it off could be a reasonable adjustment for them.

But that’s obviously not the case in this office. If anyone had such issues we would clearly make adjustments but this is purely because of his views.

Does he actually get any work done in between his rants?

God knows. He’s just passed his probation so they must be satisfied!

Not applauding that it has reached a point where she is snapping at him. That isn’t professional either. He should have been spoken to calmly and firmly before now.

I'd just laugh back and if he expressed views I disagreed with, I'd be happy to discuss them. If his attitude gets in the way of work, I think it would be reasonable to speak to a manager or someone else in charge.