To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

I fully understand as with a mortgage of £1.7k, 3 children (16, 12 and 8) with big appetites, council tax at £230 a month, wraparound care at £300, monthly transport fees to get to work for both parents at £600 plus car maintenance etc things add up. Perhaps, you need to overpay the mortgage and remortgage at a lower rate?

£200 a week on food is really not a lot with current food prices. I spend just over £100 on a basic Sainsbury’s shop and then have to top up throughout the week.

How is £100 gym fees extravagant? I don’t know where some of you live. The three gyms closest to me charge £150 - £200 a month.

This

I used to work in pure gym. Low cost. 14.99 membership at my local pure gym. Slightly dearer in places like London but nowhere near 100 pounds a month. The gym group - the same.

Food spending is one of the easiest things to cut down with a bit of planning - the point is - if you are struggling - you'd cut the 100 quid a month gym membership till you were back on your feet

OP won’t, but I’m also suspecting can’t, lay out full income and expenditure. I suspect that’s why the money is not enough, because it’s being spent on untraceable random stuff and the very thing that would help would be doing a full breakdown of where it’s going. Until OP relents and does an actual audit, we’ll all just be going round in circles about the 90k

£200 a week on food is a ridiculous amount for two adults and a child young enough to need wrap-around care.

Our local gym charges £24.99 per month for unlimited gym access - or £34.99 if you wanted unlimited classes as well. Nobody needs a £100 a month gym membership - if that's all your area has available then cancel and go for a run instead

🍿

This. Agreed.

This is long, sorry.
Our family is in a similar situation as you are. Income about the same, with 2 children (5m and 15m) We are not broke by any means but we still struggle with unexpected expenses. I am a SAHM, with a small pension for income of about 900.00 per month. My DH is the main earner.
Depending on your expenses you could see where you can cut things. I am always checking things where I can cut expenses. I call my internet provider (which includes my landline and TV) for promotional prices every few months to see what they can do for me as I have been with them for over 25 years. We have changed all our light bulbs in the house to LEDS. I do alot of swapping with other parents for things we need. I shop thrift/charity shops for a lot of items.
My children only do one activity at a time that costs $$(currently that's jujitsu 140 per month, my 15DS has an annual pass to the pool and fitness community centre. 700 annually) We try to do free activities, bike riding, playing at park, hiking, geocaching is a family activity we all enjoy.
Sometimes you just need to be creative on cutting expenses so that you can make it to the end of the month without dipping into the savings.
Also another big savings is that I buy in bulk and split it with my parents.
Have you sat down and written all your expenses down for a couple months so you can see where you might be leaking small amounts of $$ that adds up to big amounts? You might be surprised at what you actually buy in a month.

I think your bills are dirt cheap, £1500 for all household bills including mortgage? Christ. I mean - someone on minimum wage could afford that.

Personally I agree you’re both middle earners, I wouldn’t call you high earners at all. I think top rate tax payers are high earners. You’re not in poverty, but as middle earners you don’t have a life free from financial strain. In fact what you’re saying seems about right- you have some money left over for some fun things but otherwise have a fairly average life.

I started earning £45k at 26 and it wasn’t enough for me to rent my own place (bills much higher than £1500!) and simultaneously save for a deposit, so I took a higher paying job and will be on circa £60k soon. I still don’t feel rich or like I made it in life.

I bet you have 1 or 2 cars on pcp, keeping up with the neighbours as such, dead money and nothing to show for your payments at the end of the term. Buy a cheap car and reap the rewards

So? Doesn't mean people don't have the right to ask a question or that there situation isn't valid. There will always be people better ot worse off who are you to judge someone's worthiness.

It's all about your outgoings isnt it?

We have a combined income of £42k ish. But
We have no mortgage - paid it off, was only small as we couldn't borrow much in the first place. And we bought an ex council do er upper.
We have no car finance - just buy old bangers and let them run their course. They usually last 5-8 years!
We have no childcare costs - we have one dc with learning disabilities so he doesnt do any after school things other than one thing a week which is provided by a charity, so we're very lucky to have that recourse.
One holiday a year in England.
Hair cuts are dry cuts only, and no nails or eyebrows or anything like that.
All my clothes are charity shop bought or second hand or we so a clothes swap with friends. I have a Reiss coat I got for £25, so I look a million dollars anyway lol.

We are however still renovating our house so we spend a few k a year on essential works needed on it, so there is that outgoing.

And this is the best off we've ever been, we used to be absolutely up against it, combined income of not even 20k at one stage, no holidays no heating on, and the mortgage wasn't paid off, so now we feel absolutely rich!

So we are very lucky in lots of ways even though we don't earn very much. But I feel we are probably better off than so so many people with no debts, I have never felt this secure in my life, and I am so grateful for it.

I was a single parent for years and managed by accounting for every penny literally, that I spent. The first year I wrote it all down in a notebook (this was 20 years ago) until penny pinching became second nature. We ate mostly veggy, gifts were things we needed rather than wanted and I couldn't afford any repairs to the house. I made it then, but my salary has not increased with the cost of living and God knows what would happen if I was doing it today.

Do you have lots of meat and veg type meals, or do you also use rice, lentils, beans etc.?

You must take home around 6k a month and say you pay £1500 in mortgage and bills - so what on earth are you doing with the other £4500? It can't all be going on kids clubs and the gym.

So double @gundigirl mortgage

It doesn't.

You are definitely not high earners, you're just marginally above average UK salary, so your lifestyle is expected to be just very marginally above average.

Is this satire?? Do you live in a 6 bedroom house with mortgage payments of several thousand a month? Do you shop in Harrods food hall every day? I’m genuinely bemused that on a household income of £90k and one child you are struggling financially. I raised 2 children on a third of that.

I can only imagine you have a huge mortgage, car loans/debt that you are servicing each month.

I take home £2.8k a month, single parent, two children, and I do not come close to spending my way through that in a month. We eat whatever we fancy (mostly branded), but key is I am mortgage free, no other debt l.

And no childcare costs - they’re secondary age now, plus I wfh

Another Pure Gym member here, paying £26 a month. I note that the average cost for the central London gyms is a whopping…£38 per month.

I used to manage on uc with around 18.5k including lha and child benefit (single parent, toddler and a baby) .

However I live in a cheap area (550 rent for a 2 bed flat), haven't been on holiday in years, most of my clothes are from the charity shop and don’t own a car. I also do my highlights at home and haven't been to a nail salon in years.

If you have an expensive mortgage, multiple cars and holidays, long commute to work I can see how it adds up but I really struggle to believe how 2 adults and a toddler would struggle on 90k.

I don’t think she meant any harm - she was just asking a question. £90k to some is a struggle - it’s all relative and dependent on housing costs debt etc. if she said she was living on 45k someone would say they were living on 30k and she should be more sensitive. I think there is room for everyone here.

Of course there's room for everyone but there are also ways of wording things that aren't quite so tone deaf.