To wonder how other families get to the end of the month?

[gundigirl]

DH and I are both middle earners, with a combined income of around £90k. We have one DD in state school – no fees, but she does a few clubs and after-school activities, which add up.
With the rising cost of living, I’ve had to take on a side hustle. I actually enjoy it, but still – without that extra income, I wouldn't have been able to cover recent repair bills, for example.
I honestly don’t understand how other families (especially those with two or more DC, or just one working parent) make it to the end of the month. I’ve never felt more financially squeezed.
I’m not exactly a super-saver – I like the odd hair appointment – but I do try to save or invest a bit each month when I can.
What am I missing?

We earn around £110K between us. Admittedly I have ADHD and I am rubbish with money. Our mortgage is £2800, our food around £600 pm. We have two children. We have very little debt. I never have money left over. I think no matter what I earn, I’m just shite with managing it 🤣

Yep, we live in the south of England. I’m 43 now and bought my first house 20 years ago, just before the 2006 credit crunch and crash. I have worked hard. We now have a beautiful forever home in a dream place. Mortgage is an eye watering £2800 a month, but in my eyes, it’s worth it. It’s not just the bricks and mortar, I have never felt so content knowing I never have to move again. We don’t ever have money left and have a very small savings pot. Our bills and mortgages etc total £5-£6k a month. We have no debt. It’s crazy how much money is spent just on utilities etc.

Your areas for cutting down would be on the household grocery bill by switching to own brands and less treats and sweeties. How much are you spending on things like Netflix and the kids activities and hobbies? I would be cutting down those too. Tine for kids to learn that you cant have everythig for the asking and its character building to do without. Ration them to one activity each. Stop spending money on petrol to ferry them around. They walk, bike or do without.

Make a decision now to have an economical christmas. For family hostting everyyone brings a contribution. Hand made or vintage gifts. Cut down on drink, buying tat and hosting. Sebd e-cards rather than the post. Stamps are a waste of money. Restrict gifts to the children only and immediate family.

Clothes and school uniforms are often a big waste as well, Can you shop from the school second hand shop, supermarket non branded or vintage? How much are you spending on servicing debt like credit cards? Concentrate on one card at a time with no treats or holidays until you have them back under control.

I grew up in a background where my fathers wage had to cover everything - my mother did not work outside the home until I was in my teems. However she did take in washing and ironing as many working class wives did. When my father brought in his wage my mother counted it into piles for the rent, gas, electricity and so on. What was left went on food and treats. If anything had to be cut down it was luxuries for us kids that were cut out first. If we whinged we got a slap.

Happy days.

This is good advice. The budgeting spreadsheet on Money Saving Expert is good and has categories for all sorts of things people might not think of, including this.

Why do people come on here and moan about not knowing how others on less survive when they're earning way more and can't cope.

1 it's patronising 2 it comes across as a bit of a look at us and our big salary and whilst you poor people can't afford a holiday we have one, spend £180 a week on food and stupid amounts on after school clubs but we're struggling give me all your sympathy.

These threads are getting boring. And you can guarantee they won't want to give up their holiday or Netflix subscription.

It's never actually people on low incomes saying they're struggling either.

It's not beyond her control! You need to act your wage OP. 90k is a lot of money, and if you can't get to the end of the month on that much money then you're spending too much. It really is that simple. What you could do is move to a smaller house, or a house the same size in a cheaper area, or get rid of one car, use your car less and walk more, cut out one holiday a year, go to a cheaper hairdresser, buy less clothes, buy less stuff in general, cancel Netflix or other subscriptions..... I could go on. Your lifestyle probably doesn't feel lavish but if you can't make do with 90k, you are spending more than you actually need to live well.

Set a side a fixed amount each week to cover food shop. Then what's left is yours. I use to do that when kids were at home. But on your salaries I find it hard to understand why you would even ask to honest

I’m a single mum on just over half of your combined salary (no benefits or child maintenance). 3 kids and same mortgage/utilities as op. I love food, buy a lot of organic, we eat well, the kids are all in various clubs (including one in Stagecoach). No car costs as I drive a company car. I do go out every so often but barely drink, I get my hair coloured every six weeks but cut it only once a year or so.

I don’t currently save or put money into a pension, as I’ve prioritised a few family holidays instead in the last year. I don’t feel that I am struggling and I know where I could cut costs in order to save.

You need to print off your last 3 months worth of bank statements and analyse them. Group each expense into a spending category, ie ‘home/utilities, entertainment, groceries, clubs etc). That way you will get a clear picture of where your money is actually going. I don’t think your gym membership is the issue, here - a gym membership of £100pm is a great investment in your health, both now and future you. You must have outgoings you don’t really notice.

Best thing to do is print out a bank statement and see exactly where your money is going and what you can cut back on.

You’re just going to get ripped to shreds on here by some people because £90.000 to some people is loads. I think they’re forgetting that you maybe took a mortgage out when you could comfortably afford the repayments but then the cost of living has made everything more expensive, mortgage rates have gone up etc. I can totally see how you could end up here. Everything costs a fortune. And being bitter at someone that is working two jobs and raising a child is pathetic on my opinion. The only way really is to start spending less wherever you can - food shop is usually a big cost but it’s so hard to shop around when you’re working FT. Weekend activities usually cost a fortune for us so I’ve started to try and embrace some weekends at home playing games etc.

I’m a lone parent with three older DC and live on much less than that. Rent extortionate.

I only spend money on rent, energy, internet, food and occasional cheap clothes (Primark, H&M, second hand). No car: walk and use buses. Rarely buy anything out (meals, drinks, coffee). Don’t eat meat and batch cook from scratch. Socialise at home or meeting friends in the day for walks, art galleries etc (luckily, friend has an annual pass). No subscriptions other than Netflix for kids. No regular beauty products, other than cheap face cream. Exercise via long walks, weights/yoga at home and swim/sauna at community pool.

But you have childcare costs, which are expensive. They don’t last forever though.

Your gym membership is way too expensive. Leave your posh gym and join your local leisure centre and save yourself £70/month.

Your food shop is also insane you could cut that down by at least £80.

Our bills have gone up this year- I think food has increased by about a third in the last year or 18 months. I have started shopping in Lidl and Aldi which helps with that (although they don’t have everything we need so it takes more time). We haven’t saved anything for months. I have more work now which will help when the pay kicks in, but it all feels a lot more going out while our pay has definitely not risen.

We have a combined income of £75k, a 4 bed house near Cambridge, 2 children, one in primary and one in childcare 3 days a week. Had one uk holiday at Easter and have an abroad one booked for half term. We don’t miss out, we socialise a lot , save a bit each month, eldest does a couple of extra curricular activities, we both drive and have a car each. Not sure how you a struggling on more than us and only one child, assume you must be quite extravagant or eat a lot of takeaways.

That can't be your full breakdown of household expenditure, what about insurance, council tax, groceries & mobile bills etc. Your daughter's club costs haven't been included either. Do the spreadsheet on MSE and then post here, we'll be able to advise you on where to trim down. There are probably hidden costs there that you haven't included which is why you're mystified about where the money is going.

Not all parts of the country are ludicrously expensive. We pay £360 for a two bed house with a garden, drive and garage.

We are on 45k after tax for a household of 5, 2 cats 2 dogs in South East.
Our household bills and mortgage are the same as yours op £1500. We don't get any benefits and have to pay some of the child benefit back.

We try to keep food down to £40/50 a week. It's occasionally a bigger stock up shop at £100. We do tescos deliveries so we don't pick up extra stuff in store and we use the clubcard vouchers for a UK holiday. We swap between netflix and Disney when we can get the 6months free with our phone contracts.

One car. No hobbies or clubs unless they are free. We made a gym at home with secondhand gym bits. Phones are £8 a month. We save as much as we can at the start of the month. It's slow going and if we need to replace something big the savings do take a hit. We get a lot of free things and do things up ourselves. We have learnt via YouTube to fix things. We don't really buy clothes or stuff.

Things are tight and I worry about the cost of living continuing to rise. We won't be left with much wiggle room. Cutting out netflix isn't going to cut it. It's hard for us to increase our money coming in as we have a child with additional needs who can't always access school and no childcare exists for him/couldn't afford one to one care.

because of our perspective and mentality I dont actually feel we are struggling. We are all fed we do get the odd treats. None of us is really wanting for anything that we can't live without.

You just need to decide where you want your money to go. In your budget you could definitely keep some luxuries say the gym but something else has to come down.

When did you buy your four bedroom house? If it was in 1833 that’ll be why your mortgage is considerably lower.

The cost of living is increasing for everyone, we are struggling on similar OP. Loving all the shock horror at how that might be possible 😂. We live in a flat. We recently remortgaged and our payments increased by hundreds so that’s where it’s come from. We live in a high COL area but it’s not practical for us to up and move due to family, work, and school.

You should be managing on 90k without a “side hustle”. How expensive are these clubs and wraparound care?! and £100/month for the gym is madness!

Because you’re clearly spending a lot more than the average family? Maybe if you write down your expenditure people could help but I almost guarantee you spend too much on food, luxuries and you took on a large mortgage

I’ve just seen your list of expenditures and frankly, if that’s true, then somehow you’re just losing £50k a year on nothing. You need to get a budget book or app and write down every single payment you make in a month. Only then will you see where you’re frittering it away.

I’ve just seen your list of expenditures and frankly, if that’s true, then somehow you’re just losing £50k a year on nothing. You need to get a budget book or app and write down every single payment you make in a month. Only then will you see where you’re frittering it away.

I’ve just seen your list of expenditures and frankly, if that’s true, then somehow you’re just losing £50k a year on nothing. You need to get a budget book or app and write down every single payment you make in a month. Only then will you see where you’re frittering it away.

Oh come on, surely you’re not actually being serious? You spend £180 a week on food, £100 a month at the gym, pay for your kid to go to stage school and various other activities, own two cars and can’t possibly figure out why you might not have as much left over as you’d like?

I always wonder how people can be smart enough to bring home 90k but aren’t able to figure out their finances.