To think maybe my NDN is a murderer?

[notanoccultexpert]

Ok, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible, but at the same time, not miss any details out. Lived in our house for 30years - about 16 years ago, a family moved in next door. Mother, Father, 2 sons and 2 daughters (who all appeared to be in their mid-late 30s). 2 daughters drove and worked, 2 sons don't drive and have never worked.

Due to his future behaviour, we nicknamed one of the brothers 'Hulk' (he's also quite stocky), so to make things simple here, we have Hulk and 'Gentle' (his brother).

Incidents when my kids were young:

1. Hulk told me he was keeping a log of when my children made noise in the house
2. Hulk splashed bleach on my ex's car when he parked outside their house for literally a minute whilst picking the kids up
3. Hulk shouted at my young son for knocking to ask for his football, and when I saw him and Gentle next, I had a go at him for it. Gentle was 'holding' his brother back, like he would attack me.

My other neighbours don't like them, THEIR neighbours don't like them.

Over the years though, I got in the habit of saying hello and it became friendly enough. Time passed and the father died, then the mother died, one of the sisters died. I knew all this because they either told me, or, in the case of the sister, they had a big funeral procession, the hearse was parked outside the house for a while, and Gentle told me she died from kidney disease.

ALL through this time, I only EVER saw Hulk out in the garden with Gentle, gardening. Only ever saw Gentle and his sister go to shops, or laundromat. Literally the only time I would see Hulk is if he was with his brother out in the front garden, or gardening in the back garden. None of them go out a lot, but if one of them was walking down the street, it would only ever be Gentle.

Last year my daughter and her partner had a bit of a parking dispute with our other neighbours. They are nice but a bit fussy, and they always asked my daughters partner to move his car when he came over...he never parked outside their house, but they felt like they needed 'more space' for their daughters car. So he would move it, out of courtesy. Until one day he didn't, which resulted in their daughter 'having' to park outside Hulks house (she really didn't need to, plenty of space outside her parents house) - so an argument between them two occurred. A few weeks later, Hulk had asked us about the back yard fence, and we noticed some vines coming through from his side. He denied it, so I opened my back gate to show him. My daughter was also there, as was his sister, and he was stood about a foot away from me (I couldn't back up cos our cat run was behind me). Because he kept rambling, i eventually said, anyway, I've got to get on...and he literally just stood and stared at me, no expression for about 5 seconds....after about the 5th 'I've really got to go', i managed to end the convo and get him the hell out of my yard. Me and my daughter were really weirded out by the way he just stared and ignored me.

But, during this convo, he kept bringing it round to the parking dispute - telling my daughter re our other neighbours 'don't let them dominate you' - not kidding he kept coming back to it, and he must have said this about 6 times...so weird. I mention this because his language was so strange...it was a parking dispute and a small one at that.

So after this strangeness, I realised I hadn't seen Gentle for a very long time. And once I realised it, I started noticing that now only Hulk was doing gardening, and it was only Hulk who went to shops with his sister (they ALWAYS go out together).

And then we (my kids and me) started talking about their back garden. It's not a huge garden, but they already had two sheds side by side at the back. The rest was really lovely flowers. Until Hulk razed the flowers, concreted over and put a massive shed on it. If you look into their garden from our bedroom window, that shed takes up about 70% of the space, then the two sheds at the back as well. There's literally no garden space left, so what he's keeping IN the sheds, no idea.

But where is Gentle? Shed went up after Gentle 'disappeared' because he wasn't helping like he usually would have. I liked Gentle. He would even knock on the door if he needed help with council or anything. I find his brother weird. Now you'd think if Gentle had fallen ill, Hulk would have mentioned it to me during that conversation. The family dynamic is very strange anyway, but I can't stop thinking about what happened to Gentle.

So, what do you think? My kids were saying maybe call the police - but what would I say?

YABU - probably just ill or died
YANBU - he's definitely killed his brother

I don’t know many of the neighbours at all but the one directly opposite me that I’m friends with chats to a few more than me.

A while back she noticed her NDN hadn’t been seen for weeks and she noticed his post piling up . She requested a welfare call and sadly he had died.

Unfortunately I have to admit don’t even know who he was, even though he was one of my neighbours too. I am glad someone was looking out for him.

OP I hope there’s a positive outcome to the welfare call and either it’s good that you are showing such concern.

Invested in this story now.

Did you contact the police yet?

Voted YABU (not in response to your suggested poll, but to your original post)

I'm glad your not my neighbour you creep me out, clearly you watch them an awful lot and very clearly people around will be aware you do. Just because people don't live like you do doesn't mean it's fair to judge or make assumptions. Thank goodness I can chat to all my neighbours normally, doesn't mean I want all to be my best friend or even like them all but I've got better things to do than sit and watch for years making assumptions and would happily pop and give a knock if I seriously thought anything was the matter

Fred West was under social services. They deemed him not a risk.

Treating people as weird, leaving them isolated and gossiping about them and not caring enough to go round yourself or know your neighbours names contributes to why these people don't care about others. Nobody cares about them. A lot of ND people are subject to endless bullying and abuse starting at school and continuing with curtain twitchers. I know both my neighbours names and would never describe a person as weird. I am not a bully.

But why would they do that when in the past they opted for big funerals for other relatives (op saw the hearse).

Check on the ancestry websites they usually show up details of deaths and burials

An example of impact of innocent people being falsely accused for those with zero empathy.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/innocent-couple-branded-fred-rose-24624044#google_vignette

Not if hulk murdered him and buried him in the garden under a shed, they're hardly going to have a proper funeral are they!!?

Seriously? In the lead up to Halloween I don’t half believe this.

God, no. You’ll end up under a shed

Do you know where the sister works

No apologies was getting repeated notifications I’d been quoted in a post & just responded by quoting commenting & carrying on. Didn’t realise it was duplicated - sorry.

This is very off topic. English isn’t my first language, and I’m surprised ‘laundromat’ is supposed to be US English? My favourite brand Vendula London made a whole range of bags called ‘Laundromat’ 🤔. I’m confused.

You don’t sound like you don’t have a life of your own, it’s normal and caring to ask the police for a welfare check.

Definitely a US term. UK English would be ‘laundrette’.i assume that designer was trying to evoke Americanness.

That’s what I meant. He hasn’t just died and nobody has noticed. Still doesn’t mean his brother has murdered him.
Probably been moved to a residential care place.
But a welfare call has been made now so I hope that’s the answer.

I wasn't making a diagnosis; I was suggesting an alternative possibility other than OP's neighbour being a murderer, based on my experience of families from my ethnic background that are very similar to what the OP has described.
Anyway, I stand corrected as I'm Pakistani and the OP has clarified that the family in question is Indian. As another poster has mentioned, in Pakistani families that practise cousin marriage there can be higher incidences of conditions like kidney disease and learning disabilities, and it can also be a generally more vulnerable / isolated demographic (I said can be, before the thread gets derailed with anecdotes of well integrated, healthy, economically successful Pakistani families!). So that's where I was coming from just based on my own experience.

Exactly exactly this 💯

15 pages in and nobody has said "You won't like Hulk when he's angry"?

Wow, I wonder how many unsolved murders there have been because of people with attitudes like yours. Yes it might seem far fetched but actually given all the details the OP has outlined and given this ‘Hulk’ character’s behaviour, I think it is perfectly reasonable for a welfare check to be done on what sounds like a vulnerable person. Surely better safe than sorry? The man hasn’t been seen in a year!

i think it good you’ve asked for a welfare check for gentle. In your head and on here you’ve wondered if hulk is a murderer but it’s not like you’ve called the police to report a murder is it, you’ve just mentioned you’ve not seen your neighbour in a while and are concerned for him. Hopefully he’s just inside and fine. But at least your conscience will be clear.

baffled by the amount of people who can’t understand the term ‘back yard’

I for one found this gripping! I believe you OP, too many random details to make up.

I worry that with a clearly vulnerable family - nothing to do with their culture, but what you’ve described as grown adults living with their parents well into adulthood, not much independence between them, the women both being silent, the men not working and then an aggressive larger male in the house - I think you are really right to be a bit concerned. Also 4 family members in the same household dying within just over a decade is not insignificant. Even with a hereditary condition like kidney disease, this would definitely make me wonder, like you are doing, if everything is ok.

if nothing else you are a concerned neighbour who used to have chats with a polite / timid older gentleman in his 50s who you would often see out and about, and who now you haven’t seen or heard from in ages. Don’t feel silly about being concerned about that, it’s being a good human / neighbour! The family are clearly very isolated, in the fact not all of them had jobs / didn’t seem to lead a huge life - what if you’re the only person who has noticed gentle has not been seen?

also with the sister’s death you saw obvious signs of that like the funeral hearth, and the family telling you how she died. Here there is nothing to explain another family member being gone. I would call the police and ask for a welfare check, and tell them about the other family’s deaths / you’ve observed a change in embedded routine behaviour / you’ve observed very big sudden changes to the garden. They won’t tell the neighbour it is you who called.

cant help but feel sad for gentle, whoever he is / was.

It's clear that Gentle is in the trunk of Hulk's station wagon. Stop twitching your drapes and call 911 before he's gotten away on the interstate.

Calm down 🤣