To have been upset at what DP said after we were intimate?

[Wifetobe26]

DP came home from the gym this afternoon and (rarely for him at the moment given he says he has lost a lot of his drive) instigated sex.

Afterwards we were chatting, and I said light heartedly that it was unlike him to want to do that on a Monday afternoon. He laughed and said the gym was full of women in leggings so he was feeling frisky.

I felt a bit shit at this…but don’t know if I’m being naive? He’s obviously entitled to think this but saying out loud seems unnecessary..

Sorry that’s disgusting - and I’m pretty chilled about lost things. So he fucks off to the gym - gets horny by looking at other women then comes back and uses me for some unfulfilled need?! Nah. He would be gone.

I couldn't be with him....!!

He’s daft to have said so but I think it’s common for people to be ‘inventive’ when they have been together for a while. No one here ever been spurred on after a raunchy scene in a film???

One of my friends said once ‘I don’t mind where he gets his appetite from as long as he only eats at home’. Made a lot of sense to me.

I think this is really unfair actually. M

If I came home from the gym and jumped my husband and said to him I was turned on by some bloke at the gym, he’d be annoyed and hurt. He’s not some controlling, insecure weirdo. He’s a kind and loving guy. But it’s disrespectful.

The issue is he doesn’t want it at home unless he’s already looked elsewhere… feels a bit muggy

But I’ve not been in a super long term relationship, it might be normal

As a mum of an attractive dd who goes to the gym this makes me feel sick. Men ogling and getting horny over girls just wanting to work out. I suspect it’s true of many blokes though because their brains are in their dicks. I hate sounding like my mother, but the older I get, the more it seems to be true.

I don’t know what to tell you to do op. Some men are pervs, and unfortunately some women are married to them and have sex with them. I might give him an angry feminist TED talk but I suspect the dye is set.

What I mean is, our relationship is an established relationship, but we're best friends who are very tactile and have sex, we're not in love or dating or anything. We're totally secure in our relationship and not threatened by the other one saying "oh he/she looks sexy". And before anyone says "friends with benefits", no we're closer than that and it's more of a relationship than that. And, for what it's worth, late DH and I also had the attitude "you can look but don't do anything about it".

Yuk. Sorry op. This just makes me think all men at the gym are pervy bastards. It’s a reason I don’t do mixed yoga. Grim. And hot yoga. Even worse.