To have been upset at what DP said after we were intimate?

[Wifetobe26]

DP came home from the gym this afternoon and (rarely for him at the moment given he says he has lost a lot of his drive) instigated sex.

Afterwards we were chatting, and I said light heartedly that it was unlike him to want to do that on a Monday afternoon. He laughed and said the gym was full of women in leggings so he was feeling frisky.

I felt a bit shit at this…but don’t know if I’m being naive? He’s obviously entitled to think this but saying out loud seems unnecessary..

What an asshole.

This wouldn’t bother me at all. I don’t particularly care what gets my husbands motor running, as long as he parks it in my garage!

Sometimes when I initiate sex with my husband it’s because something else or someone else has put be in the mood - wether that be books, tv, or even maybe smelling a nice aftershave on a man.

Let me get this right. You made a supposedly ‘light hearted’ comment about his libido, he laughed and replied but suddenly you are allowed to be upset?

In whose world is it only you allowed to make ‘light-hearted’ comments referring to his libido which you know is currently an issue for him, and maybe embarrassing, but he isn’t allowed to respond in kind?

You are being unreasonable to question him in the first place. You should feel shit about making that comment in the first place.

Thank goodness- someone who thinks the same as me.

OP, it would not bother me one bit.

Aren’t you two cool. You’re definitely not like other women…

OP, the issue isn’t that someone/thing turned him on, it’s the fact he told you to your face. It’s downright disrespectful and tactless. The fact he’s lost his sex drive for you recently but admitted he got turned on around random women, he’s taking the absolute piss out of you. He is classless. Just throw the whole man away at this point.

All these men who can't keep their thoughts to themselves. Dumb.

Is it not disrespectful and tactless to comment on his libido straight after the act? He didn’t ‘admit’, he laughingly responded to a supposedly ‘light-hearted’ comment.

He’s not allowed to be embarrassed or make a laughing comment back but it’s OK for OP to comment?

Yep, I’m not like most women as I’m autistic. Thanks for saying that’s cool.😎

So instead of giving the honest answer to her question, you are saying would have been more respectful for the DH to have lied to the OP about what got him thinking of and wanting sex with OP?

Why don’t you think “throwing away the whole man” is a bit of an over-reaction?

Yep I could swear I've read this exact post before. Curious 🧐

I’m afraid it sounds quite normal to me.

I agree. The
“..obviously entitled to think this but saying out loud seems unnecessary..”

applies equally to OP saying it’s not usual for him to initiate sex…

Don’t gently tease and ask a question and then get upset when you’re gently teased back.

doesn’t Get turned on by me… gets turned on by other women and thinks it’s ok to tell me… not sure I could live with that.

I completely accept that I can read a bonk buster/ see a gorgeous man/watch a movie and the result is great for both of us… but i wouldn’t tell him.. it’s disrespectful

is it a case of his libido falling off a cliff and he’s just happy that something got it going? Hoping it’s getting better?

how is he usually? Good partner, loving, supportive , interesting and interactive ? If he is maybe a frank conversation. He needs to understand what he actually did… I think sex therapy may be a good idea.

Vile absolutely vile. Please please don’t marry him

I would absolutely not want to hear that, whether it is true or not. Plus, he’s a bit….dim? Does he think you’ll shag him again, after that? Because every woman’s fantasy is a man thinking about “ women in leggings at the gym” whilst he is shagging you? What a turn on for you..not! He’s an idiot, which is entirely unsexy.

Reminds me of a saying from my yoof (1970s-80s-90s???)

"I don't mind where you get your appetite, as long as you eat at home..."

Chill a little - enjoy the fact he thought of you once he got turned on and didn't go for a secret wank in the bathroom - or worse....

At least he came to you and not one of them.
Edited to say: it would piss me off too.

Talk to him calmly later,
tell him how you feel.

Where does it say that he was
“a man thinking about “ women in leggings at the gym” whilst he is shagging” OP?

He only says that put him into the mood.

This exact post appeared recently

Not enough of a distinction to keep ME in the mood, I have to say.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice maybe it would bother you if your partner isn’t usually up for it with you…not exactly flattering, is it?

Yes that’s really shit especially combined with his lack of sex drive

No it wouldn’t. I understood the OP’s situation was one where her OP has been experiencing a decline in sex drive. Which is normal for most men as they age.

So sorry OP, absoutely gross behaviour from your DP.

You said your DP has lost his drive, but instigated sex after the gym. If this isn't the norm for him and he's acting out of character perhaps he's taking testosterone or something similar? Some men can act like complete nobs when on it!

Absolutely no excuse for his shitty behaviour though!!