To send invitation for 8th party happening mid-Jan?

[cremello]

The party is booked already because dates are already becoming unavailable. Party is for 8 children.

I was picking up a vibe that the OP expects the parents to commit now and then she is not be willing to accept any excuses if people need to pull out. To my mind that is not a helpful way to behave, as other posters have stated, life sometimes causes a change in priorities. In general I stick to.'first thing in the diary' gets attended. I've just been notified of the time and date of my cousin's funeral. The friend I was planning to meet for lunch that day accepts that a funeral takes priority.

No, not at all!

This is how I manage our family diary.

1. receive invite
2. say yes or no depending on whether we're free/want to go
3. if something unexpected happened (illness, funerals, last minute wedding invites (🤣) etc etc I would then get in touch with apologies.

Same! A couple of years ago my DD received an invite that was 2 months in advance of the 5 year old’s party. I followed your very simple steps and fortunately by step 3 nothing came up and we went! No eyelids batted at any point.

This

No I wouldn’t confirm now even if I’m free. Yes other things come up, better things even. We don’t revolve our lives around our kids dc friends birthday. Send it in Dec. I would’nt even respond if I received such a request now!

This thread has really shown me just how achingly cool people are! Swoooon

There are many, many reasons why parents may need to send an invitation months in advance. Eg illness, work commitments, limited time to plan, or an expensive party that needs numbers to be confirmed early. In some cultures kids parties are considered to be important social events and people do take rejections personally.

You may not believe so now, but over the long term your child does lose out socially if they don’t attend most of the parties they’re invited to / you become known as the mum who doesn’t rsvp on time.

I think it just comes across as if you think you are organising a Royal Wedding!

But yes, things will come up so the rsvps will tell you nothing, and also at 8 they might change friendships groups once (or twice!) in that time!

Just book it if you need to, and send to the ones you know you want closer to the time when they know if they are free.

This is one of those threads where 91% vote you are being unreasonable.

OP: "I absolutely am not being unreasonable and you are all wrong."

OP sorry but I don't think it works that way with a kids' party. Yes certainly few weeks before, or when confirmation is requested, I'd say yes or no and stick to it, but I'm not going to commit to a party three months in advance because, yes, something better may come along. I'm someone who was always quite strict with this but for a kids party you don't need to know more than a few weeks before and I'm more selective about what I'll commit to.

Someone tried to get me to save the date for their child's party earlier this year, sent me a text in May about a party in August and asking me to keep it free. I said I'd let her know nearer the time. They hadn't even provided invitations yet.