To send invitation for 8th party happening mid-Jan?

[cremello]

The party is booked already because dates are already becoming unavailable. Party is for 8 children.

I think it's fine to give out invites now, or send a 'save the date' message, as long as you are realistic that nobody is going to 'save the date' for an 8 year old's birthday party over a work trip, family event, wedding, once in a lifetime concert, etc. As long as you are seeing a 'yes' as 'As long as we are still free then', then go for it.

Whilst I’d be like you and want to have it all done and organised, I think three months ahead is a bit much. Perhaps send a “heads up” message to any particular friends’ parents you know your DS would really hate it be without?

I’d send the invitations at the very beginning of December I think, maybe late November at a push. Early October probably is a bit soon

Well there ya go!

It's not exactly a risk. With your attitude I would say no anyway. Your loss. A random 8 year olds party is not on my high priority list so there is no risk

No, not waiting to see if something better comes along at all. I just don’t know what is happening in January right now. This isn’t about other potential social events it’s about co ordinating work and caring for someone with a disability and I cannot do that 3 months in advance. Neither would I want to. Ask me a couple of weeks before and I will work it out.

I didn’t even have 3 months planning for my own wedding let alone someone else’s 8 year old.

That's what I'd do as well. An acknowledgement that it's very early to be thinking about January, but giving the heads up.

Or a family event that would be classed as more important than a children 's party?

If you are a family with unpredictable christenings and ad hoc weddings and vital yet spontaneous sports fixtures, you could just answer with thanks for the invite, explain that you can’t give a firm yes or no until x date, say that you understand if that has to be taken as a decline if the host needs earlier answers. Then otherwise you set a reminder for the day you have committed to reply by.
A lot of posters are falling over themselves to say how utterly trivial a child’s birthday party is. However, they are not unimportant to our children. People inviting you to a child’s party with a lot of notice are not doing so because they want to insult you by saying your life is so boring you have nothing better to do than plan birthday parties for a child. They are just offering your child a chance to participate that he or she may appreciate.

lol

Sorry @cremello, but that would have been filed in the 'too far away to care' pile, being as it's not really a significant happening unless we were really close!

I wouldn’t find it weird if my DD got an invite 3 months in advance. I’d just put it in my diary and look forward to it.

They’re not a random 8 year old they’re your child’s friend. I would want to make the effort to make sure my DD didn’t miss out on key dates like parties. Might not be important to you but it is important to your child.

I sent invites for my early-Dec son's bday party in August. December gets busy, people get booked up. I'm working on a 2-month lead time for most things tbh, if someone sends an invite for something happening in 2-3w time, chances are we are already doing something. I would appreciate the more notice the better, and if something comes up I'd just message to say sorry with as much notice as possible.

The only time 'I can't possibly commit that far in advance' comes into play in my life is when my PILs invite us on a holiday in 13+ months time. No thanks, I don't want to do that anyway, let alone have it hanging over me for a year. Anything else is fine.

If the family event is that important, I'll know about it by now.

If something comes up, I'll explain that we have to work around existing plans.

If a sport event happens, then we'll work it out then - but I will have warned the parents anyway. Last week we were told on Thursday morning about a Saturday match for one of the kids. I know what sport and club are likely to clash.

I don't know anyone who has a last-minute wedding/ christening or anniversary celebrations 😂

Random emergencies can happen on the day anyway, so how long in advance we know about the kids party is irrelevant.

I don't need to pretend that we are more important than everyone else so couldn't possibly commit to a child's party because they are beneath us

No, they are waiting to see how things might change in 3 months time. Their kid might have fallen out with yours, they might have moved house, they might have a family member who becomes unwell, their child might have a hospital appointment….. all the other things that can change in a few months.

Send them now if you like, you will still get last minute cancellations.

Oh. You are the 8 year old.

At 8 years old my child would have understood if something more important in our family came up.

That’s fair enough. I’m sure my child would understand too…. maybe.
But depending on the circumstances I would still try to make the effort to make it work and I wouldn’t have such a bad attitude either.

No it's not a risk really. I can't help that we are a family who works shifts that includes weekends and these are only confirmed 3-4 weeks in advance.

The 'risk' you take is people saying they will come and cancelling last minute or forgetting about the invite. That's not my risk, it's yours.

What i'd likely do in this scenario is reply 'thank you for the invite, little Dave would love to come. We don't have shifts that far in advance so may need to cancel but we'll do our best to make it work and let you know a few weeks before.'

Just send a ‘save the date’ and say details to
follow. If you want it “off your desk”
you can prepare the invites then set a reminder to send them nearer the time.

Send it. My son is the same age. I’d be happy to receive it now, and then I’d pop the date and in the diary and RSVP. Job done.

The only people who would have issues fall into two clear buckets:

1. people who genuinely don’t know e.g. work shifts, in which case they can just say so
2. flakey arseholes who might want to hang on for a better offer

We’re all human and sometime plans do change, but in that case people would just have to let you know.

Just say, “I know it’s early but given we have it booked, I thought I may as well send these out now”.

I think it is too early. I think there is a higher risk of people accepting now, but by the time of the party they have forgotten, moved house or as happened to friends of mine they were bereaved of a close family member within the week before. If you are prepared to pay for 8 child places and risk some no shows on the day then go ahead. (I knew one family who kept a list of reserves who they thought they could ask last minute so as not to lose money. Funnily enough all those they asked had other plans and one told the mum outright that she didn't appreciate her son being asked just so as to fill all the spaces).

I think some people are confusing invitations and Save The Dates. The function of a Save The Date is to give people notice of the upcoming event so they can plan around it if they wish to attend. It is not an invitation and does not require an RSVP. People are free to accept conflicting invitations until the actual invitation is issued and they RSVP yes.

For children's parties, I'd always send the actual invitation 2-3 weeks in advance, but I'd send a Save The Date as soon as everything is booked. Some families do plan their schedules a few months in advance and so appreciate the notice.

It's also useful to avoid conflicting children's parties. If you let people know when your child is having their party, they can avoid booking their child's party for the same date which might be awkward if the two children are friends or share a friendship group.

I don't understand this personally. I wouldn't be at all offended by my child being a "reserve" If it meant they got to do a fun activity like climbing or trampolining.

It's the custom at our school to offer places/tickets that can't be used on the class chat so they don't go to waste. So if someone is having a class party and not many can attend, they'll invite children from the other class as well. It makes complete sense not to waste a paid for space when another child can enjoy it... these things aren't cheap!

The title of the thread very clearly says invitation not Save the Date.