To feel pissed off(weight loss issue)

[AutumnLover1989]

A family member has been on a well known weight loss jab for a few months now and lost a lot of weight. I'm overweight too but doing this naturally and very slowly due to a health issue,which means my mobility isn't great most days.

We will go out for a family meal every couple of months and as my family has cut out takeaways etc,when we all go out as a family,I will treat myself and have a dessert for example,as I never normally eat them.

We were all out for a meal yesterday as it was a special occasion.

How do you deal with the loud comments about "being full up","Ooh I can't eat all that(while looking at my plate" etc. Almost performance under eating? It really makes me feel awful.I don't know how else to describe it? It's really getting me down and I did have a cry afterwards. There's no way I could ever afford to pay for these jabs 😢

I would just totally ignore the comments, if you know for sure that they are being done to try to somehow shame you or embarrass you.

Is this a close family member? Do you otherwise meet up and get on well with them? If you do, then you could maybe try bringing it up with them and simply ask them not to comment on what you are eating as you find it unhelpful, if you think they are just being clumsy and thoughtless rather than deliberately unkind.

If you’re losing weight, no matter how slowly then that’s fantastic! Don’t be so hard on yourself ❤️ and many people on weight loss injections just put the weight back straight on when they stop

Maybe pretend you are taking it at face value as a genuine conversation not performative under-eating, and say: Yes the jabs do restrict appetite so much don't they? For me, I am happy to lose weight slowly and allow for occasional treats like this, when getting together with family. It is delicious and I am still on target to lose 1lb this week, as I have every week for the last 12 months.

I don't like to let people get away with stupid comments, so I'd probably clap back with something like, 'Yes, because you're on the weight loss jabs which are curbing your appetite and making you feel fuller for longer, but I'm not so I get to enjoy dessert whenever I want to.'

PS, I am actually on the jabs and do not do this ridiculous performative thing around food and eating, I just get on with it.

Stop going out for meals with them.

Can you not tell them they're the ones missing out? I don't tend to have pudding at home but I'd probably have two when out, just to annoy them.

Just don't acknowledge them at all (the comments). Carry on talking about something else.

I would of said something like “well thats what happens when you cheat and have a weight loss jab rather than loosing weight normally.”

Commenting on other peoples food is extremely rude.

I never have dessert but if I went out I would have one and really enjoy it, I wouldn’t appreciate someone commenting on it.

Just ignore it. Enjoy your treat meal. You should say you are glad you're not on WLI as it must be a shame not to be able to enjoy your food once in a while.

She may not mean it as a dig at you. It is true that it makes it hard to eat bigger portions. Either way just don't give those comments any headspace and just change the subject.

Could you explain why using weight loss injections is "cheating" please? I wasn't aware there are a set of rules that must be followed. Enlighten me.

It does my head in OP, and not even from people on the jabs. My MIL is very proud of the fact she has a sandwich (one piece of bread folded over) and an apple for lunch most days. When we are with her and make a pasta or god forbid some other hot meal for lunch she will make comments about not possibly being able to eat all that. Or about dessert being 'naughty'. Piss off and let other people enjoy their lunch, especially if you are eating out.

Also have a SIL who goes on and on about how much exercise she'll need to do because of this 'enormous' meal she's eaten, and it's literally a normal serving size. I roll my eyes internally and crack on with enjoying my meal.

I've just started intermittent fasting and it's working for me and I'm losing weight, but I'd never go on and on about it infront of other people or even give a shit about what anyone else is eating. It's boring and annoying.

Weightloss isn’t a competition, however much the diet industry wants us to think it is and pit the different methods and approaches (and those doing them) against each other.
Neither of you is doing anything the ‘wrong’ way, your relative may genuinely still be shocked by feeling full after eating a normal meal (I know I am!) - you’re the only one who can tell if the comments are actually pointed or wether you are projecting because you feel like she’s doing ‘better’ at weightloss than you are.
If you’re losing weight and improving your health while finding a bit of balance I’d say that’s success!

When I was on the jabs I really could not eat much at all. And I hated it when people made comments about how little I ate.

The most surprising thing to me about WLI culture is the sheer number of previously obese people i have seen who, now they are no longer obese, become complete arseholes to other obese people. It’s like they’ve been waiting their whole life to treat people the way they were treated. Really unexpected

YANBU. I can't eat much on Mounjaro but I know how tedious competitive undereating is so don't mention it.

@Bambamhoohoo wow, sounds like you are unfortunate to know so many formerly obese people who turn out to be quite unpleasant. Is it family members, or friends?

You are generating the feeling though , the other person isn’t making you feel it. So work out why it irks you, it will be because you think it’s cheating i assume and you are better (which is fine we all have those type of thoughts not about weight loss I mean all sorts). She’s trampling over your „oughts“ is your ought that you ought to use willpower to diet and if you aren’t then you ought to shut up. We all have our oughts.

This with bells on.

I’m on weight loss jabs and wouldn’t dream of shaming anyone for eating, but I wouldn’t have done this before weight loss jabs either. Its plain rude, IMO.

And to those who consider it “cheating” @ComfortFoodCafe, remember, two wrongs don’t make a right - comments like this just makes the clap-backer look equally rude!

I'm on the jabs and going for meals would be really difficult at first as I couldn't eat much and would stress about people asking why I'm not eating much or trying to force me to get starters or desert. I definitely wasn't looking at what other people were eating!

Are you sure they meant it in a snarky way? Maybe you're just sensitive to it so took it the wrong way. Like they literally can't eat pudding as the jab stops you from eating much. So maybe they didn't mean to be rude, but just were stating their fact. And if everyone knows they are on the jab, then maybe they just assume that everyone knows that the jab restricts how much they can eat?

Unless you think they are the type of person to shame you? Which is rich as the jab does make it so much easier to resist pudding!

They’re not constantly unpleasant. They don’t go around berating fat people on the streets. But it’s clear what they (now) think.

An example- a recent news story about an overweight airline passenger taking up 2 seats- 2 formerly obese voices saying “they should just lose weight” “why should I have to put up with someone spilling over a seat i paid for?” something they never would’ve said 3 years ago when they were obese themselves.

You don't 'deal' with it.

They're full up and you're not - fact 🤷‍♂️

Certainly nothing to cry over just because you're having a dessert and they're too full for one.

Pretty much this.

I never have dessert because I simply can't fit it in after a dinner. Not sure that classes as competitive under-eating or simply listening to my body saying STOP EATING.

If something like that makes you cry then you need to look at the reasons why.