To feel pissed off(weight loss issue)

[AutumnLover1989]

A family member has been on a well known weight loss jab for a few months now and lost a lot of weight. I'm overweight too but doing this naturally and very slowly due to a health issue,which means my mobility isn't great most days.

We will go out for a family meal every couple of months and as my family has cut out takeaways etc,when we all go out as a family,I will treat myself and have a dessert for example,as I never normally eat them.

We were all out for a meal yesterday as it was a special occasion.

How do you deal with the loud comments about "being full up","Ooh I can't eat all that(while looking at my plate" etc. Almost performance under eating? It really makes me feel awful.I don't know how else to describe it? It's really getting me down and I did have a cry afterwards. There's no way I could ever afford to pay for these jabs 😢

Thinking about this more, this is like the equivalent of nouveau riche people when they have to drop the make of their car/where they live/the fact their child goes to private school into the conversation every five minutes. Whereas for established wealthy people it's the norm so they don't need to /think to mention it. It's very gauche behaviour and you can cringe for her but don't let it stop you ordering a pudding

I can’t believe the old cliched MN trope of old money = good people, new money= vulgar people has been trotted out on a thread about weight loss. God this place is a cesspit of snobbery!

Where did I say one was better than the other? I didn't.. neither are better or worse. Lots of "old" money comes from abhorrent things like the slave trade.

My point, and sorry if this wasn't clear enough, is that it is all new and exciting for this person to be eating small amounts and that may explain their incessant need to talk about it. They need to learn it's impolite, but it makes sense why they haven't learnt that yet

I don't really agree with this. I can't imagine watne talking like this and not being annoyed. It's insufferable.
I don't quite follow the point of making it all OP's fault.

It annoys me so much when people say 'oh, I couldn't eat all that!' I'm not overweight but I do have a dessert on a special occasion. Obviously no one is eating that every day. Does my head in 🫣

Honestly, get over it. You are both on journeys trying to get to the same destination, you have chosen your route she has chosen another, both will have their challenges at different points. It’s only a big deal if you chose to make it one. Cheer her on, and talk about what you find hard, listen to her too, support each other.

Or avoid her if you have issues with her choice or current rate of weight loss or whatever, that is your choice.

When anyone finds a new thing, they can be a bit weird, preachy and boring. Just ignore it and enjoy your food.

Type 2 diabetic here, been on Ozempic (Wegovy) for about 3 years now. Went from 110kg to 67kg over about 2 years. In the last year I'm now back up to 90kg. Not changed my eating habits, just stopped losing weight then it started going back on.

Now, as long as my blood sugars are OK, I'm fine with the weight gain.

I've heard others say the weight goes back on when you stop the jabs, but there are also stories of others like me where the weight's gone back on even with the jabs.

Carry on with what you're doing, and remember. Karma is a bitch. You'll get there 😁

Doesn't matter if it's a special occasion or a normal Sunday does it? Your capacity to eat something doesn't change just because it's your birthday

I'd be happy for them that they're doing so well on the drug, probably ask them some questions about it, and I'd carry on tucking into my dessert.

It’s not ‘cheating’ it’s an aid to get what you need. Do you consider taking blood pressure medication whilst trying to make lifestyle
changes to bring your blood pressure down cheating? Probably not.

@AutumnLover1989 i can see how that’s massively annoying, and if you think they are doing it to get to you, they are an arse.
however if they are just full up then they are allowed to say so. Only you know their intention.

She was incredibly rude. If it happens again, clearly point out that the reason she couldn’t eat it is due to her weight loss injections. I see no reason not to meet such rudeness with the same.

And OP, you don’t have to justify having a dessert. You have done it in this post too, which suggests that you have absorbed the narrative that eating anything remotely “bad” for you is somehow morally wrong. It isn’t. Enjoy your dessert!

I agree the comments were annoying and maybe should’ve been addressed - unclear why weight loss jabs are “cheating” though.

But surely you don’t say ‘I’m full up’ etc do you? How vulgar!

Surely you just act like a normal person and say ‘not for me thanks’ when offered courses you don’t want?

Exactly. Politely declining is the right way to deal with this.

How to turn down more food politely- Debrretts screenshot

No, but I would eat unhealthy meals on a random Sunday.

The person just commented that theyre full up...they would be quicker on WLI but did they comment on what you were eating...no they didn't.
You alleged they were looking at your plate of food....are you sure? Or is this your insecurity?

Oh forgive me, j must check Debretts more often before I express that I am fully satisfied.

Meanwhile, jn the real world... nobody takes offence at someone saying their full unless they are struggling with their own insecurities.

There's no need for any of the snidey comments anyone's suggested on here. If anyone says a word either ignore it, or if you really can't, let them know it's rude to comment on how much someone eats. They're not bothered about hurting your feelings, so why should you be bothered about hurting theirs?