I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

No, actually you're the one being silly as you dont seem to understand inflation! If we're talking 20 years ago, your salary of 18K would actually be 32K today.

So how do you negotiate having friends round (or dates)? Do you find it inhibiting having friends or social activities when your parents are in the same room?

Go for it! Many people find their ideal place and just stay forever! You don't need a life plan, just the motivation to do what you choose. No prescribed law to say everyone has to think about a house, career, kids etc, that's what makes us all so diverse. I travelled when younger and loved it. Xxx

Fine if you live in a massive house where every adult has their own bathroom and living space, not so great if you’re getting in each other’s way, have to share the lounge, toilet facilities and coordinate your cooking. Unless you have staff cooking and cleaning, it’s going to end up more like a student share.

OP I love your approach to life. It’s not as irresponsible as many on here assert: in fact many young investors now take the view that buying property in the UK or US is a waste of time if you’ve only got a small deposit and will be saddled with a giant mortgage for many years. You’re right, times have changed and property is out of reach for most. But you will notice I mentioned young ‘investors’. You’re a young travel lover. In order to fund and extend your lifestyle and FREEDOM, may I suggest you too become an investor? You were rightly pointing out how throwing money into a crap account is a waste of time because the inflation erodes the value of the savings. That’s why you need to get yourself a low cost stocks and shares ISA. Chuck that £700 a month in now! You can always pull it out should you need it, not like a LISA. Please do yourself a huge favour and google the Donegans. They’re a British couple about ten years older than you who got rid of their flat as it too much of a drain and invested in very low cost index funds (this is a giant pot of the world’s biggest companies, it tracks the market and has very low fees). I’ve set up junior ISAs for my children and the returns have been wild. Not saying it will always be like this but if you can just shove a few hundred in every month then your travel and other dreams will be taken care of. Please do look up the free course (no onward selling) by the Donegans. Their mission is to spread basic financial literacy and their YouTube videos are really engaging.

One last thing: the NHS is not necessarily secure employment. It’s great you love your job but there could be a side hustle or training you could do to boost your income and future proof your skills. If you’re not in a caring role in the NhS then you may be quite vulnerable to AI fuelled job cuts.

That’s why it’s so important to start investing to fund your future travels if nothing else!

Isn't this what you already do though? Don't you already coordinate meals, host your older sibs and their families and chip in with housework and favours? Do you coexist as adults, or are you living in your parents house - there is a difference.

It is just different. I married at 21 we'd bought a house, had two children. Had lots of energy back then to raise them. Had another baby 18 years later. A little unusual perhaps. But we had no mortgage so not the financial stresses.

It all worked out.

OP does save regularly which mortgage lenders love. So when the time is right for her she can buy. Until then working and travelling are what she wants out of life.

Wow an 18 year gap is no joke! How lovely for your older ones though - I have a much younger sister and I always say she was my first baby. I adore her.

I think it more typically ends up with one or two of the women doing everything... the whole idea of properly shared intergenerational living is fantasy ime.

Yes - you’d need a property big enough to not be living on top of each other. But re meals - people take turns, share it in smaller ‘teams’ or have nights where everyone does their own thing,

We do it for several weeks in the summer on vacation but I could see it working in an everyday situation too - with different age groups needing different things. Those going out to work all day wouldn’t cook during the week. More hands around for care before and after school for the minors etc.

It obviously wouldn’t be possible for everyone but I find it odd that some people are so against it for others as a choice.

where are you travelling and where have you been?

My best friend and I jokingly (but not entirely jokingly...) talked about buying a huge house for both of our families to live in. I love the idea in theory but in practice her DH is a lazy arse and I'd probably kill him. Now if we both ended up husbandless somehow...

Yes, I mean in some parts of London, even if you were wealthy, the space needed for this to work would unattainable. I think in most cases the burden at least for organisation of the house would fall to the generation (the woman) in the middle, things like ordering the food or shopping for it would fall to them. Cleaning the house or at least the coordination of that, endless recycling. My goodness it would be like running and bed and breakfast and then work on top of that. Intergenerational mismatches like teenagers making teenage noise, staying out late and grandparents fretting about it or have different food preferences😬

Apologies for terrible grammar above!

It is difficult for me. You say you’re not planning on moving out and your OP says your savings are specifically travel savings not for a house. Then you say you would like to move out at 30 ish, then you say you are actually saving and that I’m finding it hard to read. And then a few posts later when someone asks you to clarify, you once again say you’re not saving for a house.

You are incredibly unclear.

so - as per my previous question. If you are not specifically saving for a house (because as in your OP, your savings are for travel), how do you expect to be able to move out by 30ish with no savings for a house?

I just laugh when people talk about intergenerational living. It's pretty common where I'm from and it works when everyone is very very easy going and is willing to live in total chaos.

I’ve been to Oslo, Copenhagen and Monaco and would say Cornwall is as equally lovely as those places. I love it!

FYI - I would do Bergen over Oslo!

I don't think there's any point in asking this - I've asked a few times and the OP keeps ignoring it. She is saving for moving out, but for some reason she doesn't want to say she is. It's odd.

She doesn't want to tell us because she doesn't want to get called out when she admits that Daddy will pay her deposit.

I agree. Even if I didn't have to do anything because I was at work, I wouldn't want to come home to 9 people in the house but I'm a bit of an introvert, maybe it's possible for the extroverts amongst us!

She's not saving for moving out. She's putting money aside to pay for her next holiday.

@wordler for most families where this happens at least one woman would be responsible for care (both of young and elderly) and housework etc. You might then have the men controlling what happens in the house or a matriarch (who had been the skivvy for years) ruling the roost.

That's not what the OP has said though - she just dodges around the question in a very odd way. It's such a non-issue, I just find the reticence really intriguing.

But then when I asked how she would afford to move out in 4 years she said she was saving and did I find it difficult to read

She literally said that at the moment she is saving for holidays.
What she's dancing around is that she doesn't need to save because her parents will gift her money and/or a house and she knows it.