I’m 26, and I’m not saving for a house or planning to move out

[WeCouldBeNice]

And apparently that’s a very unpopular decision amongst certain family members.

I have grown up always listening to my mum and grandmother saying that they regretted not travelling more in their youth. So I’m doing it, before I can have any regrets.

i work a job that pays just under £25k. Moving out would be miserable. I’d exist to pay my bills and nothing more. I am unable to borrow enough to even purchase a flat in my local area. So I’m spending all my money on travelling instead. Short trips. Weekends away and longer European trips next year.

my older brothers are horrified by this (despite both doing it themselves). They think I should be moved out and renting by now.

my dad turned round to them yesterday and asked if they wanted to ever see their daughters struggling and unhappy. They obviously said no, so he asked why they expected that of me. They couldn’t really answer.

theoretically I could take the money I’m putting into my travel savings each month and use it to save for a house. But I’d never get a big enough deposit to allow me to buy anything even anywhere near decent to live in. And I’d then be bound to a mortgage and never be able to do anything other than sit at home.

is it really that bad to do this?

And there we have it. You're relying on a hefty inheritance so don't need to take any responsibility for yourself. Shut up about things being hard for our generation then. Jesus.

Central London. Not on a low income though.

If your parents are happy with it, that’s up to them. Still doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.

I wouldn’t want to do it though, and I feel quite sorry for your parents that they’re getting on in years themselves and you’re still not out of the nest and living an independent life. They’re still in parent mode with a child at home when they could be enjoying their home and their life as a couple after so many years of parenting. You’ll be the default live-in carer as well should their health decline.

I was married with two children at that age, and another on the way. No way would I have wanted to be living at home with mum and dad! Your twenties don’t last long - you’ll be in your thirties before you know it with nothing concrete to show for it, and no money saved. It’s not an attractive proposition for anyone you might meet who you might want to build a future with. This kind of delayed adolescence is unhealthy.

Your parents own 5 houses?

Why can't they let you live more cheaply in one of them assuming they are landlords?

Where are most grass starting at 30k? Out of the last 2 years of graduates I know none of them ( my DS and dn years) earning that. There's one girl with a first in law earning 22k. Many of the others are still on minimum wage jobs

We are in the south east as well

To buy a flat at 22 in central London they must be in law or investment banking or have had a large sum from mum and dad.

So what youre really saying is that you do not need to save because you are a lazy little rich girl and hope that your parents are better at business and sensible financially. What was the point in the thread? You do not represent the average young adult (thankfully!).

I've suffered through a few. I graduated in the midst of a recession. I lived well below the poverty line for a while, then I moved abroad, did my travelling, got a job in Spain for a while. That's when you do all that- in your late teens and early 20s. Then I realised I couldn't hop around the Costa Del Sol for ever and came back with a view to making a proper career.

The COL has lessened our quality of life and we've responded by reducing our outgoings on holidays, takeaways, dinners out, theatre tickets, new clothes, nights out. It's not a bad as it would have been when I was 26 because I have spent the last 10 years making sure I have some stability.

Yes, I feel a bit down when I have to say no to an invite somewhere but the alternative is continuing to work until I no longer can and then facing my husband and I being split up and sent to equally dismal care homes. It's not worth it.

Yes, clearly banking on her inheritance. I reckon OP would be more motivated to stand on her own two feet, if mummy and daddy weren't so financially sound.

On the off chance this is real (26 🤔). Despite what your parents may tell you deep down nobody wants their 26 year old living with them (indefinitely?) if their child has no additional needs. One of life’s greatest joys is watching your child grow up, put down roots of their own, spread their wings etc whilst learning how to keep a now adult relationship with your child.

You may end up becoming carer for them when they get older instead of working towards a healthy, happy independence.

Massive drip feed!

So we shouldn’t be feeling sorry for a poor little Gen Z, life has dealt you a bad hand, you can’t afford to create a life like previous generations did? No - you’re just a lazy recipient of the benefits garnered by your parents’ generation.
You are waiting for your very healthy inheritance- poor little rich girl?

You describe them as not wealthy, they are comfortable, but they have 5+ properties! Why don't you live in one of them?

What is the average graduate starting salary?
Institute of Student Employers (ISE) research indicates that the average graduate salary in the UK sits at £35,170.1 However, with ISE research primarily focusing on large businesses and graduate schemes, this figure is significantly higher than the average graduate salary reported by the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA).

According to data from HESA’s most recent Graduate Outcomes survey of 2021/22 graduates, the average salary reported by first-degree graduates in full-time, UK employment was £28,731 fifteen months after graduation.

It's not a popularity contest and you have to do what works for you, however asking OP to think a bit more long term isn't bad advice.

@WeCouldBeNice

what about this, OP? ⬆️

Those are heavily biased by the high salaries in London

It certainly makes a difference if you have rich parents!

You can describe cheese as yoghurt too if you like, but it's still not correct.

Doesn’t sound like they are married /
have kids so not an issue.

You don’t need to leave home just to rent. Stay at home and save, save, save to buy a small flat or a small 2 bed house you can have a lodger in to help you with the mortgage. You’re currently in the best position you are ever going to be to save, have a holiday and live in stress free comfort.

Why is it not healthy? In many cultures this is the norm. Who is to say it’s wrong to have children living home later simply because that is what we are used to?

Presumably the dynamic never really changes, you are not house sharers with your parents so you are permanently stuck in a time warp of when you were a teen in your room. When I visit my Mum and stay in my old room, my DC get the other room, I definitely revert to a bit of that dynamic as it is my Mum's home not mine! I don't think I'm the only one who feels like this when visiting their parents!

There's more than white or Asian.

It's not my cultural references and it wasn't my parents so maybe that's why I feel like that.

Live your life. If you want to travel now, travel. When you want to settle (if you want to settle) you know you'll have to find a way to do that.

Perhaps your brothers think you'll be leaning on them in future if you haven't got a property or savings? Or that your parents' house will go to you if you've not moved out? Let them know that you aren't asking for financial help now or in future so they have no vested interest in or right to demand how you decide to spend your own money now or in future. How your parents decide to make their will is not something have influence over.

As someone who is over 50, I grew up in much more economically easy times where thinking ahead like you are just wasn't on my radar. I travelled and lived abroad in my 20s and don't regret it for a moment. I had many lean years settling back in when friends were already established in careers and on the housing ladder. Then the 2008 crash happened. It's all come good for me now thankfully. You'll have to figure it out in a future you can't now predict. That's life. You only get one and, although it's a huge cliché, it's absolutely true that you blink and suddenly you're old and wondering where it went.

Do what you want with your life as long as it's not harming others, don't live it to external expectations or to please others. Your brother's thoughts on your life are theirs to resolve, you don't need to justify your choices to them.

Edited to make coherent!