AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

But she isn’t your mate is she? She is a friend of a friend, so you are a client.And a time waster.

She's been practicing and learning for YEARS.
You told her that her time was not valuable, and she should play for peanuts.

And you still insist SHE was rude? 😂

Her comment about your next wedding was funny, it's even funnier you are so miffed. What nerve did she touch?

Omgggg this has got to be a wind up post!!
1- what mates rates -you didnt even know her
2- we are nice people/ this is a nice place is this meant to mean rich?
3 did you really compare a professional pianist to a plumber???
THE ENITLEMENT!!!

@Bamsmam this is hilarious! You’re clearly bvvvvu! Judging by the amount of responses on this thread, and the fact that 97% of people have voted yabu, are you at least prepared to consider you’re in tbe wrong here?!

the fact that she isn’t solely a wedding pianist is irrelevant. She’s a professional, she can charge whatever she wants and I think her quote is actually very reasonable! Good luck finding anyone cheaper than that who is any good!

@Bamsmam

She did give you mates rates. You don’t value her ability or service so fine - don’t have one.

But don’t act like you’re the reasonable one when you have absolutely no knowledge of the work it has taken her to be at the level she can play professionally.

It might not be ALL she does but she’s still a professional and charges accordingly.

You’re cheeky and cheap. Bet your wedding will be a delight - one of those events where the guests’ experience comes last and they’re give two Paris goblets of shit sparking wine on arrival and made to wait 4 hours whilst you have self indulgent photos taken because it’s your ‘special day’ 🙄

😂"you're allowed one drink from the bar, but not prosecco"

Hahaha. I LOVE that response and you absolutely deserved it.

Travel time, rehearsal and music prep, warm-up, not able to take work elsewhere, the time over the years to learn are all part of the cost regardless of whether she is ‘professional’ or not.

Your updates make you sound like an absolute knob!

This HAS to be a reverse surely nobody can be this rude??!

If it is real then oh dear OP no wonder she was rude.

How much do you pay the plumber?

Lol £100 would be a complete insult, barely worth getting dressed up and commuting for. It's your wedding day!!! I bet she would have a huge effort for you (because of your connection and that she doesn't do weddings often). She would been a real highlight for many of the guests. I feel badly that you didn't value her time and skill. She's not a 15 year old.

But you're not her mate... £220 was a good deal too.

You know nothing about her.
Or music, clearly.

Oh my god don't pull at that thread.

But you were rude first.

You implied that her serivce is not worth what she quoted and expected mates rates for someone you don't know

Hopefully the shock of this exchange will make you think twice about how you word things in future

It wasn't the reply you were expecting but it was the reply you deserved.
I wish more people were honest like that.

it's a very common level of entitlement sadly.

"wanna-be influencers" expecting everything for free because their 3 followers will see a photo of your business name on a crappy video in your stories...

People saying they should only pay a tenner or similar, because "it's only a couple of hours"... If it's only a couple of hours because of the years of experience and work!

Or people expecting a "free" (or next to free) performance from artists because it gives them "experience" 😂😂

I am not even sure the thread is a wind-up. People like the OP are everywhere.

That seems really reasonable, what were you expecting?!

Fucking hell mate. When you're in a hole stop digging.

£75 I'm guessing.

Fair play to the pianist. I'd have snapped her hand off for £220.

I do occasional session recording and some performance work and my rate is £340 an hour and I have a whole other, very lucrative, career outside of music. However I have spent 30 years learning, practising and being able to play a piece of music right every single time. I also have probably 10-15k worth of equipment that needs maintaining, costs for accounting, insurance, union, travel etc.

I paid 2k for the band at my wedding 15 years ago and they actually are my mates.

You realise a plumber has also spent years learning their trade? Training, earning qualifications and building experience to safely handle systems that, if done wrong, can flood or damage your entire property. You’re not just paying for their time on site; you’re paying for their skill, responsibility and the peace of mind that comes with knowing the job’s done properly.

Face it, You’re a cheapskate.

Love her response!!!

You want someome who has spent time and money and effort to learn a craft for less than their value.

It’ll cost you more than £220 to get to the standard she’s at!!!!

If someone said this to me I would shrug it off. It is only a low blow if it rings true! So maybe your relationship isn’t as strong as you are making yourself believe.

She was snippy back as you were rude! If you play silly games you will win sill prizes!

She's clearly given you a mate's rate deal because that's incredibly reasonable.

You were the cheeky one.

Absolutely! You should value plumbers as well - talk about essential work.