AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

If she knows nothing about you or your dp why would you expect her to offer you mates rates?

We are nice people

Lmao you're fully living in delulu land if you think you're a nice person speaking to people like that. If it was out of your tight arse budget you could have just simply said, "thank you for the quote but unfortunately that is out of my price range". Instead you're so fucking entitled you think you can haggle with someone who actually may have been able to come to a compromise if you had spoken to her like an actual person rather than a prop.

I think it's fully reasonable for services to call out entitled, shitty, grabby behaviour.

You can't afford something you don't have it. Stick to Spotify (although I bet you're even too tight to pay for premium) and you've burned a bridge. I hope your friend declined the wedding too for you treating her friend so poorly.

I was thinking £250-£400 would be reasonable. £220 is cheap.

For £220, she was charging you mates rates. That’s a bargain!

Will you be charging guests to attend the wedding too in the hope of making a profit? 🤣🤣

OP If you think her quotation was unreasonable you're bonkers and very out of touch with how much things cost. I expect your mutual friend will be so embarrassed when the pianist tells her. I'm cringing for you. And your replies make it clear you think you're not in the wrong which shows a real lack of self-awareness.

I dread to think what the hen night week abroad in five star hotel demands will be, not to mention the expectations placed on the bridesmaids….

You have to love a Bridezilla who isn’t scared to step up to the plate and tell it like it is.

Yes...you can't plumb OR play the piano. That's why you have to pay the going rate to those who can.

Asking someone to play at your wedding in front of guests isn't money for old rope. It's a chunk of time that requires skill and focus.

I think £220 was a bargain to have such an opulent touch to your day.

I think she's exactly right.

Fpmsl 😂. Bridezilla much? Bravo to the pianist

What does it being a nice venue have to do with anything??

The nicer the venue, the cheaper she should charge?

Same as "we are nice people" ? Do nicer people pay less for things?! How do we judge nice in terms of cost for services??

She sounds fucking brilliant. I’d pay the money just to go out for a drink with her!

So out of all the posts saying that you have been unreasonable and cheap, this is the one that you pick out?!

She was rude because she is sick of entitled dicks expecting her to sell herself cheaply because they dont value her skills, you wont be the first person she has encountered like this. You are exactly the kind of person that drives people out of other skilled jobs such as bespoke cakes or other handmade items. They want little darling to have a beautiful princess castle for their birthday but then claim that it shouldnt cost more than £40 because "Its just flour, butter, sugar and icing" as if the skill isnt worth a penny.

People like you disgust me. You want the services other people offer to prop up your "look how elegant we are" persona but dont want to pay for it. I can put up with a lot of things but cheap people are the worst. And thats you, cheap and low rent.

You’re paying for their skill level, not just their time. It takes years to become professional level and should be paid accordingly 🤷🏼‍♀️

The fact is you need somebody with experience. You aren’t just paying for their time on the day, you’re paying for the years of practise they have put in so you can have confidence it they on the day.
She’s right- don’t like it? Get lessons.

She's right, you are paying for years of built up skill. She sounds great and is absolutely not overcharging.

She has to travel to your venue, travel home, practice the specific songs you want and is a competent professional with years of experience. She was offering you a bargain, you've really embarrassed yourself here.

But she's not your mate, so why would she give you mates rates? She's got more of a connection with the person working at her local shop.
It wouldn't just be 2 hours work for her, it would be the travel, setting up, packing everything back up. Plus not being able to take on or do anything else that day

“just someone to play a few tunes … nothing complicated”

chopsticks then.

You got a response worthy of your input here.

Plus the comparison with plumbers is silly. There are dozens of plumbers I could choose from locally to fix my boiler, I very much doubt there are even a small fraction of that number of professional pianists who are willing to play weddings.

You sound like a dick. HTH.

OP have you any idea what professionals in any field charge these days? I paid £100 a session to have laser treatment on my toenails and it lasted about 15 minutes each time; £80 for an initial consultation with an osteopath and £65 thereafter.

Your lack of self awareness is staggering.

how many people will it take telling you it was you who was the rude one, before you’ll understand?

you have claimed up thread ‘we’re nice people’ . Well, on the occasion you have told us about, you weren’t nice at all. You were rude and insulting to a professional.

you seem to be very ignorant to about piano players. Why on earth wouldn’t she be paid more than a plumber?!? Is there some internalised misogyny going on there too? Just a silly woman doing her hobby?!?

you didn’t call her out, she called you out, and deservedly so.

Yes, and when it takes you 6 weeks to master "Three Blind Mice", you'll realise the talent, work, practise and effort involved.

True!
I paid £350 for a singer at my 'big' birthday a few years ago. For two 45-minute sets. He was very much worth it and he IS a friend, but I wouldn't have dreamed of asking for a 'mate rate' from him.

My 19 year old son would charge about that much. He has grade 8 piano, distinction in his music btec and has just started a music degree. He can sight read anything you want.

If you want someone to play for 40 pounds, my 14 year old has grade 2 piano and can play eleanor rigby on a continuous loop.

Your choice