AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

I think the problem here OP, is that you’re a bit deluded about how much anything wedding related costs. My dad offered to pay for the pianist at my nephews wedding (about 2 hours for the duration of the mingling bit at the reception as well as the service). It was £550. My dad expected it to be about half that 😂

DP is a DJ who occasionally does weddings as a favour. He says he wouldn't charge less - even for friends - and wouldn't have to rehearse or anything.

OP should be tipping generously at £220.

Have a look at the Musicians' Union rates here: Ceremonial Organists Salary, Pay Rates & Hourly Rates | The MU

There's a base rate, a rate for rehearsals, and a rate if a video is being made.

Professional musicians and photographers and the like are absolutely pig sick of entitled losers like the OP trying to scrounge them down using street haggling tactics. It is incredibly common (in every way) behaviour. The pianist reacted well, with humour, and sent the OP packing.

The pianist quite rightly responded to the breathtakingly rude OP denigrating her skills and got rid of the OP quickly and with no further interaction (beyond OP writing back foaming and frothing, which I just bet she did).

I am afraid that skilled professionals simply cannot be expected to tolerate breathtaking rudeness and entitlement without simply shutting it down, hard and as they are human beings being insulted by scroungers they cannot be expected to be angelic.

OP is very lucky indeed she didn't simply say "Fuck off you cheapskate and go and harass someone else" - now that would have been unprofessional, but understandable.

The pianist replied with humour. Good for her. I would definitely employ the pianist and her comment would not put me off at all.

She’s not your mate though…

OP you and @shugglesare living in cuckoo land.

She is a professional. Whether she commits all her time to this one role or not in irrelevant. Are you suggesting a part time dentist who uses the rest of their time doing something else should charge less than a full time dentist?

this sort of contract work always commands a higher hourly fee than a regular job because a regular job comes with security, sick pay, holiday pay and protection.

of course the hourly rate will be significantly higher for a professional doing a contract job.

are you seriously telling me you’d get a plumber to come over and spend two hours working for less? A lawyer or private doctor would be 2-4 x that amount.

her response was perfectly in line with your rude and dismissive attitude.

But she is the bride. Some brides seem to get the idea their wedding is the romantic high point of the age and everyone just wants to be part of it.

I think that is a very reasonable fee. What on earth did you expect to pay?

Nailed it!!

This might be of interest.

https://www.bryanederymusic.com/wedding-pianist-prices/

The only way you're going to get anyone cheaper is if you get hold of a pensioner who is playing for a bit of pin money and not declaring it.

She wasn’t YOUR mate! Her response was not rude and you deserved having your arse handed to you on a platter

You’re paying for a finely honed skill, plus time and expense to travel to and from the venue. Yabvvvu.

As for “But she's not a professional "wedding pianist"! Is my point! She does other things too!”
she actually IS a professional wedding pianist if people pay her to play at weddings! Musicians often have portfolio careers, where they earn a living through various different channels as none on their own is enough to make a living and/or they like the variety.

@Bamsmam I am late to this thread so have only read your posts.
The £220 is not for two hours work, it includes the time spent practicing before the wedding. It also includes her time to travel to and from the venue and the cost of petrol etc.

Would you really expect her to turn up and sight read the music not having practiced beforehand? There is also the time talking with you about which music you want playing for each part of the ceremony.

The cheapest on this website is from £187.50. Don't think you'd want to pay her travelling expenses, however.

https://encoremusicians.com/occasions/wedding/pianists

SMH. If you think a professional pianist is just taking money for old rope, you are free not to engage one. Sounds like you can't afford one anyway, so it's all worked out for the best!

What's wrong with you? What did you expect to pay? 20 quid and feel you'd been generous?

get some piped spotify going on your phone

12 yrs ago, I knew a group of three musicians who would do an hour for 50 quid plus drinks...but they weren't professional musicians and were just doing it for fun and to supplement their pension.

Back in '94, we got mate's rates for our wedding reception for a professional trio. It cost £300 or £100 an hour. (Plus refreshments.) That would be the equivalent of £215 an hour today.

It's actually less difficult if you're playing as part of an ensemble - if you eff up, you're covered. If you're solo, it's all on you.

If the wedding is in a public venue, you would have to pay for the the music license.

You beat me to it!

Just a thought. You want nothing complicated. Do you know how complicated the play list you might want is to play? I mean are you Simon and Garfunkel of Bach cantatas?

This.

I played for free at a 90th birthday party for my cousin's father-in-law. I had to rehearse for a week to get ready for it and I played for less than an hour.

Thing is, you DO charge your employer for your training and experience. That is why different jobs come with different salaries.
My suggestion is for you to link a Spotify playlist to speakers.
i used to sing at weddings and people absolutely paid for my education, experience, travel time and talent. They also paid for practice sessions with accompanists as I refused to “fly blind” and show up unprepared. Just because you think someone’s time and talent is only worth a certain amount, doesn’t mean that this is reality. It’s as insulting as being asked to be paid with “exposure”.

😂true!

How embarrassing for you and your poor friend who recommended her. If I were you I’d apologise and say that you had a touch of the wedding fever and briefly lost your shit and are now mortified

Ok i stopped reading here! Mates rates? She's not your mate! Yes her response was a bit rude but clearly in response to your rudeness first!