AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

I meant to quote this bit

I was thinking maybe £100, £150? Mate's rates
!!

I'm sure most wedding pianists are gutter mouthed when discussing cheapskates who belittle their services and demand lower prices

Ooh finally. You’ve managed to find one person who agrees with you. Never mind the other 99.9%.

Team pianist. Just chiming in to add that in fact newly qualified solicitors (who are usually pretty useless and always under senior supervision) can earn up to 180k a year in London now

I so love these threads where the OP answers the ONE "poster" who agrees with her, blissfully ignoring the other 650 replies going the other way 😂

You are the rude one! Expecting so called mates rates when shes not your mate!!!!
She is charging a fair rate and you are taking the absolute P

I did not think that "wedding pianists" would be gutter mouthed

You should hear some of the things church organists say.

But I’m fascinated why you think “wedding pianists” would be any more or less likely to use the same language as anyone else.

Also (I should be asleep! Why am I not asleep?) Has anyone else noticed that the OP is marrying her DF - I was under the impression that marrying a Dear Father is frowned upon in the best families, which is clearly whence the OP comes.

Also the guttermouthed comment. 🤣 Presumably because all supposed “wedding pianists” have never had an impure thought in their lives.

OP, ditch your father. Marry me instead. I need the joy that you bring in my daily drudgery.

My DP and I both have professional salaried office jobs. He earns £65K a year and I earn £45K a year. We both get overtime payments for any work we do outside of certain hours. And our overtime payments are higher than the equivalent to what our hourly rate would be if our salaries were hourly.

Just because you haven’t experienced something yourself, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

Hardly gutter mouthed. If your relationship with your DP was solid, it would have been water off a ducks back. I’m guessing her remark was a bit close to home and touched a nerve?

Hee hee! This remark made me laugh. You haven't hung out with many musicians have you?! Definitely gutter mouthed 😁
A quick look at ISM or MU will give you the rates for a musician plus allowances for travel, expected working conditions etc.
Hope that helps with budgeting

OP if you're insisting that it's "no different" from any other job, why didn't you ask anyone with any other job to do it?

Bridezilla alert ‼️

They've ignored every other part of the comment they were replying to and are hell bent on trying to derail and dodge and weave on this one point. You won't get any sense out of them.

They originally said this: "Well yes, everyone has commuting and travelling to their work. And will also do additional study and preparation outside of the workplace. No different to a musician. So let's call it a standard working day."

The've now changed the description from "standard working day" to "professionals and careers" - you could certainly argue that the standard working day for millions is just a job, not a profession or a career.

But it doesn't matter anyway as they're still wrong.

It's like I said, the the overwhelming majority of people are paid superannuation, holiday pay, sick leave and have all the stable dependency that comes with an employer. They also don't have to set up their desks and computers and take them down every day then bring them home and do it all again the next day. Nor do they have to learn a new set of processes each time they enter the office (unlike musicians who must learn a new set each time). Most people in standard jobs will be paid extra for working very early, very late or the weekend.

Being a musician is therefore not comparable in any way to a standard job and they absolutely always factor in travel time and set up time.

to be fair, I can't think of one employed person who would ever use the expression

because this is common knowledge in the working world 😂

What personal comment or “gutter mouthing” did she do because I don’t see any comment in your OP which I’d consider personal or “gutter mouthed”.

It really does not seem like you have learned any lessons here.

I doubt you’d describe a plumber fixing your boiler as ‘money for old rope’. This is her profession, and it’s one that takes time and talent to master, so more respect is due. She was probably blunt because she’s sick of people asking her to work cheaply or for free for ‘exposure’. Musicians have to pay their bills too.

Gutter mouthed?

Oh, the penny drops, you're just shit posting because you're on the sauce.

Got it, this is a wind up thread.

She had a brilliant response to your incredibly rude reply to her. She quoted you what she would cost (a VERY reasonable price! Have fun trying to find anything cheaper besides maybe a student just starting out). You can then say yes please, or no thank you.

Good luck finding a cheaper pianist for this and any future weddings.

I saw a tiktok where there is a person who is a “wedding artist”. She sets up at the reception and starts painting and by the end of the reception has done a fairly big canvas painting . The one I saw was a painting of the bride and groom. Apparently she charges 10k! Painting was amazing.

To be fair saying learn to play the piano for your next wedding in ten years is a little below the belt. I wouldn't say gutter mouth but a bit personal. Like those men who alway introduce their wide as their "first" wife.

I suspect she was already giving you a discount, OP. Professional musicians - especially ones that play at weddings - aren't cheap.

Yabu - I got married over 15 years ago & the string quartet we hired for an hour was way more expensive than that!