AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

Where can you get a plumber charging £220 for a day’s work? Asking for a friend…

So perhaps they aren’t classed as skilled workers by that poster.

No the low blow was you thinking you could underpay her because she wasn't a 'wedding pianist' just a 'pianist'.

Do you really think that some musicians solely make thier living through playing at weddings and no other events? Such an ignorant attitude.

You could have easily said 'many thanks, unfortunately this is beyond our budget'. But you questioned her????
The whole point is this is not regular work. Musicians don't have weddings every day, so their costs are higher to make a living out of their work. And it isn't just the two hours. They have to practice, invest in lessons for themselves, buy equipment.
You sound clueless.

It's still irrelevant to the issue here- which is that the OP is a tight- fisted, CF, bridezilla.

A quick google suggests that over 7m are in the higher rate tax bracket. It’s not as unusual as you think. Self employed musicians don’t get hefty pensions, holiday entitlement, sick pay, parental leave etc either. £220 really isn’t unreasonable.

Another point to make is that not many people are of a standard to be able to play the piano for 2 hours at a wedding. Supply and demand……

Yes but you see........thousands can do your job, my job, practically anyones job. We can all be easily replaced.

You however NEED this woman, she doesnt need you. That makes her worth higher than yours.

You dont want to pay it, so you aint getting it. Simple as that.

You wont pay what it costs (actually, a lot less than it normally costs as others have pointed out)....so enjoy your music-less wedding as there is not a competent musician who will do the work you want for the price you want to pay.

Wonder how much your dress cost, despite it being mass produced in a factory abroad.

Oh that is absolutely true too, no doubt at all.

But Shuggles was also desperate to pretend that a self employed pianist who has to learn new sets, bring her own equipment, set up and take down and has no employer to offer them sick leave, holiday pay or any other entitlement should not include any charge for travel time. Which is, obviously a load of old bolllocks.

But yes, lots of musicians charge a lot more than that, for sure and they can absolutely charge whatever they like.

According to a quick online search the musician the Op tried to haggle with like a street vendor was, in fact, offering her a good rate anyway.

Exactly why I think £220 is an out and out bargain!

To be fair I offered to do it for £50. I'm a musician of sorts - although I specialise in "wind the bobbin up" at the moment.

What is it that you're wondering about?

@Bamsmam all your posts are reiterating that you think YANBU. 97% of readers disagree, but you still don't seem to think you've done anything wrong.

What was the point in you asking?!

Just to add mates rates as you put it isn’t worth getting out of bed for. Just because someone is self employed doesn’t mean you can take the piss.

OP, she has to travel to you, take time to learn the music and / or practice. And out of that £220 assume she also has pay her own tax and NI. She probably also has some insurance costs too.

The price she quoted was cheap and why were you expecting mates rates, she isn’t your mate?. I don’t think discount is offered for a nice venue either?

I don’t think she should have made the comment about your next marriage, but I understand why she gave you short shrift tbh. If she was above your budget you could have said that and moved on, not tell her what you wanted to pay as if she isn’t worth the money she quoted.

I’m this case, given that you won’t / can’t pay for an actual musician, what are you going to do now?

Play a tape? You could walk down the aisle with a boom box on your shoulder, for a real impact. Retro chic. Any tune you like for as long as you like. For Free.

Wondering why she (the OP) didn't get away with being a scrounger and being rude to and lowballing a musician, I should think.

Engineering. Dh is on 70k plus a year but also claims overtime when worked.

You sound VERY tight!

Dear OP there is a chap called Elton John who is quite proficient on the piano. Why don't you contact him an offer him 150 quid for the gig? I doubt he would have got to the level of renown he has if he was a scam artist that tries to rip people off. I believe he has slummed it playing none wedding gigs so he isn't a wedding pianist as such but is probably just about at an acceptable standard.

She does. This muscian isn't even her mate! She's after mates rates from a mates mate. Is there such a thing as mate's mates rates?

Exactly. Hour for hour this is astronomical. Plus she was so rude. I'm sorry but I can't get past this very personal remark she made. I did not think that "wedding pianists" would be gutter mouthed. Oh well lesson learned.

@CameForAVacationStayedForTheRevolution Engineering. Dh is on 70k plus a year but also claims overtime when worked.

That's definitely the exception and not the norm. Most employers would not offer overtime, but would instead simply come down heavily when the work isn't done. So the staff have no choice but to put in extra hours for free.

Unpaid overtime is the norm and is a well documented phenomenon. I'm surprised that everyone on mumsnet is unaware of this.

but she's not your mate. how odd of you.

Yes good point a plumbers day rate would be higher. @shuggles (who I suspect is actually a sock puppet) is tying herself up in knots.

Lesson learned you apparently can't afford a wedding pianist?

If you want someone to play easy stuff for a couple of hours, go to your local highschool and pay a teenager.

If you want to hire a professional, funnily enough, you have to pay professional rates.

YOU don't decide what their rates are. THEY tell you, and then you decide if you want to hire them or not.

It really is that simple.