AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

This ^ I’m not surprised you got a rude response OP!

You are a tight arse @OP and were rude to say the price was steep. You’d have had better luck trying to politely negotiate.

good for the pianist!

So it's gone from a couple of hours in your first post to an hour?

Do you know any primary school children who could perhaps play the recorder?

Maybe you have an area of talent or skill op not shown here, but on this thread you have shown poor critical thinking skills, a really poor grasp of commerce, a complete lack of self awareness amongst other things. None of these traits are worth paying £220 an hour for.

And the couple of hours was before, during and after the ceremony in the OP so a fair amount of hanging around in there I should think.

You could offer your gig to some piano student op
See what happens

With this attitude I hope OP is looking for a wedding dress on Shein and a cake in the Sainsbury’s celebration cake section. Not sure the skill and materials for - on average - a £1-2000 dress or a £400 cake is going to go down well. Or the £2000 for a photographer… but a mate can probably take those on an iphone, so job done.

That was mates rates

It's not £220 an hour, it's £110 an hour because you said she quoted you £220 for a couple of hours' work. That doesn't include her travel time. It doesn't compensate her for the fact that once she's committed to playing for a couple of hours at your wedding she can't do anything else with her day or accept a more lucrative gig if it comes along. And it doesn't come even close to compensating her for all the hours she's spent honing her skills and learning a wide repertoire of pieces to play at weddings to performance standards. (Assuming you don't want her to play Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and Mary Had a Little Lamb on rotation.)

Also, she's not your mate, so of course you don't get mates' rates.

Christ.

You should be dying with embarrassment at the prospect of this getting back to your mutual friend, but I suspect it is your friend who will be embarrassed about having given her friend's contact details to a rude CF like you.

£220 is cheap as hell! You’re being the knob I’m afraid!

Well said

Right, she has to get there early enough not to disrupt the ceremony and wait till after they have left to take her equipment down - even more time to add to the list.

Plus she has to dress nicely, make sure her hair, make up and everything is wedding appropriate. Even more time to add to the list.

@Another76543 4-5 hours of her day, plus practising the chosen pieces beforehand. A proper pianist doesn’t just rock up unprepared with a load of sheet music under their arm.

Well yes, everyone has commuting and travelling to their work. And will also do additional study and preparation outside of the workplace. No different to a musician.

So let's call it a standard working day. £220 for one day's work is quite high. As I said, the training that a pianist does is no more special than the training that any of us did in our chosen professions. I think £220 for a day's work is justifiable though on the basis that work for musicians can be unsteady and unpredictable.

Maybe get a Bluetooth speaker and get some piano music on your phone.
That'll be cheaper.

get a better paid job then?

Don't become a plumber, they seem to under-charge in your area.

OP has no respect for art, effort, talent and professionalism.

I bet your wedding is shite.

Your friend must be so embarrassed of you.

Utterly embarrassed for your poor friend thats put her neck out only for you to act like such a tight arse.

What did you think you would be paying? Price of bus fair?

Hey! Stop muscling in on my 5 yr old ukelele player and Five Little Ducks!! She’s got the gig. Just waiting to confirm with OP who just hasn’t quite got back to me to confirm the details.

How was she playing the piano at your venue? On their piano or would she need to bring her own (mini) piano? If it’s a ‘nice’ venue like you say, the chances are they will want to see her insurance as a supplier, which she will have paid for. You would, reasonably, expect her to be well presented. You’d expect her to possibly play songs that you’ve chosen and requested, potentially play you down the aisle and back up again, so she might have to learn or practise new songs for your day. I hired a pianist for pretty much exactly what you’ve mentioned and it was around £400 and that was 4 years ago so I’d expect much more now.

I think you’ve been incredibly rude and you sound like a massive cheapskate. Your comments were embarrassing.

Two hours of playing is a lot of different pieces. All the music will need to be sourced, organised and practiced. Then travel to and from venue and then the actual two hours of playing.

I'm team pianist too

Unreasonable and rude. Can't wait for your friend to deal with the awkwardness.

So take it to your union if you think you're underpaid for your skill set. Don't expect others who are setting their own wage in line with their skill set to do themselves out of money.

I think you were highly unreasonable, firstly to message her name dropping which obviously is a hint that you want 'mates rates' but to then respond to say you want even cheaper. You insulted her and because you were considering paying for her service you felt entitled to do that AND to make it worse you also don't think someone providing a service should be able to stand up for themselves.

You are 100% the problem op. If you want fancy things at your wedding then be prepared to foot the bill or adjust your plans. You're asking her to give your day off up to spend the best part of a day getting ready, traveling, setting up, risking damage to an expensive instrument if she's bringing her own, playing, packing up and travelling home, never mind the time spent in advance practicing the pieces you want. Of course you're going to pay for that service and what she's quoted you sounds pretty standard and actually on the cheaper side to me. How entitled of you.

If we need a job doing we always cast about to see if a friend or a friends of a friend can do it and the first thing I always say is I don't expect 'mates rates' (even when it's a very dear friend) but I would rather my money goes to someone I know and trust than the lottery of picking a random. I value their skills and will pay the going rate, I just have more faith that they won't rip me off or mess me about.

So she is a professional musician! Not Aunty Mabel who plays in the Snug on a Saturday night!

How dare you be so rude!