AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

Hahahahahahaha I'm dying over here.

You are very very very unreasonable and incredibly rude.

Good on her for telling you where to stick it.

So what? I’m a photographer. Not a full-time professional, but I do it as a side hustle.

Does that mean I shouldn’t charge properly for my time? Do I have to do it as a 9-5 to charge a proper hourly rate?

Do you realise that when you expect creative people to devalue themselves, you’re pushing the devaluation of the entire industry?

Im really embarrassed for you. So tight.

2 hours minimum of her professional piano playing (and you will be underselling that too, a couple of hours might mean all day with someone like you)
PLUS travel to and from
PLUS equipment hire (assuming as is standard she has to bring her own)
PLUS set up and take down time of the equipment
PLUS several hours to learn the set
PLUS coordination phone calls and emails with the venue staff
PLUS her years of experience as a musician and the training it took to become skilled enough to play in public

I feel SO sorry for the friend who now deeply regrets ever passing on her own friend's contact details. Your (probably soon to be ex) friend will be apologising profusely to her musician friend and the two of them will be laughing at you behind your skinflint back.

Wow £220 is really cheap.

But your mistake is thinking it's an hour's works. She needs to get to your venue, warm up, play as people arrive, wait around play again in the service, wait again, play again and get home. But before that she has had to learn and practice the pieces. So although you only want her to perform for an hour it much more of her time that will be taken up.

lol what does when care if it’s a nice venue? Do you think she should do it for cheap because of that?

If you can afford a nice venue, you can afford her fee.

The way to negotiate is to ask if there is room for manoeuvre on the cost, not accuse her of overcharging.

@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway And that doesn't include the travel time, plus other time consuming things already mentioned by previous posters. It will probably take up at least 4-5 hours of her day.

Standard working day is 8-9 hours...

Yep this. The OP really needs to let it go now.

I'll get my coat. 😬

not only are you paying for her expertise but also for her to prepare and travel to the venue and back.

The pianist hasn’t quoted you £220 an hour though. I’d love to know the exact message you sent the pianist.

She was rude, you were rude. Her rude was funny though

But she's not getting £220 an hour. She's getting £220 for the hour plus the other say 10 hours practice she put in prior to the wedding, travel, overheads, the price of the sheet music and sorting any arrangements for the music and her skill level. She doesn't just appear on the spot, sight read the music at a professional level and then vanish again.

You're a musician who has practised for years and does public performances? No?
What,then?

And she originally said a couple of hours, she is trying to downplay it now.

Markets dictate rates, not skills themselves.

Just hook your phone to a speaker and play something from Spotify for free?

But from your other responses I can tell you’re an absolute nightmare. So hopefully this lady has warned other local musicians about you.

indeed. The op may find herself on the receiving end of ‘I’m ever so sorry, I’m fully booked’ which is my copy and paste answer for every customer I don’t want.

You are entitled and rude. You want her to play before during and after the ceremony. How many hours is that? How many pieces did you want her to play? You do realise that she would have to practice and learn all those pieces which adds on another chunk of hours. Her reply is matching the rudeness and disrespect you showed to her skill and dedication. It takes thousands and thousands of hours to learn an instrument and yet you, like many others, expect her to be grateful for the pleasure of attending your wedding and playing for peanuts. YABVVU

It’s not £220 an hour though. You want her before during and after ceremony plus travel time/petrol.
Plus consultation with you before the day - presumably you want to choose what walk down aisle to, last thing you want is her playing songs you recently had at a relative’s funeral or Ed Sheeran if you hate him etc.
I always remember that story about the organist playing robin robin riding through the glen not the Bryan Adam’s song that was number1 for weeks when a bride said she wanted Robin Hood music.

OP! Quick! Snap up this opportunity!

4-5 hours of her day, plus practising the chosen pieces beforehand. A proper pianist doesn’t just rock up unprepared with a load of sheet music under their arm.

I do think you were rude, if it was unaffordable for you could have politely asked if there was room for negotiation since your budget is tight. However, suggesting it wasnt worth it to them directly was very rude.

Oh well, a lesson learnt, time for another plan.

that's your fault for not being a pianist then, isn't it? my day rate for what i do is eyewatering to some people, until they try to do it themselves.

As for "mates rates" - she's not your mate, is she?
Head wobble time for you, i think.

For a professional musician, that is very reasonable. Her fee would include travel time and costs, sourcing the sheet music possibly, and practicing.

So you are wanting to pay next to nothing for a skilled person for your wedding?
so basically, skimping on the classy bits and not the trashy bits?
bet it’s a lovely day 🙄