AIBU to think this "wedding pianist" is unbelievably rude?

[Bamsmam]

We are getting married in April and have found a lovely venue which allows us to source music ourselves. I looked around options locally and they all charge a fortune for 5-6 hour packages which we don't really need - just someone to play a few tunes as guests arrive and during and after the ceremony, nice and quiet, nothing complicated.

A friend told me about a friend of hers who plays for weddings sometimes, not as a full time career because she does other music work too. So I got in touch with her, mentioned my friend's name, said what I wanted and asked for a quote. She came back to me with £220!! For a couple of hours piano playing! Surely this is money for old rope.

I wrote back and said I thought it was a little on the steep side and this is where the rudeness comes in. She actually messaged me back and said I should start taking lessons now myself and in ten years I'll be as good as her and can play for my next wedding! AIBU to think that this is extremely unprofessional and also a very unpleasant way to communicate with prospective customers?

This pianist is an absolute legend and your attitude towards a talented musician is beyond contempt.

You also used the phrase 'money for old rope' in your OP which shows just how little you value a professional musician's skill and time.

To be honest you were pretty rude, and I don't know why you were expecting mates rates when she's not your mate.

She has built up the skill to play well enough for you to want her at your wedding. This will have taken years.

Ah but you sound so nice! I can't see why she wouldn't give you mates rates since you asked her so nicely and the venue is also very nice.

I've just had a brilliant idea and I SWEAR i'm not being sarcastic.

Why don't you hire one of those pianos that plays itself?

I wonder if it comes in at more than £220?

What a great answer she gave you. You were very rude. She was right. That couple of hours of bashing the ivories is predicated on years if honing her skills which is what you are paying for. It no doubt also includes her travel to your venue and the tax and NI she will pay.

Oh my gosh you were so rude! I just checked to the end of the thread to make sure it wasn’t a reverse.

£220 is so cheap, I would have imagined much more.

£100-£150 for a pianist - whether she usually does weddings or not - is incredibly insulting. It’s a very skilled thing to do. I don’t know why you were expecting mates rates from someone you don’t know, but I would say that £220 for what you’ve outlined is mates rates.

I’m not at all surprised she snapped back like that.

I guess you wont be interested in my rendition of go tell aunt nancy on the recorder then? I'll throw in three blind mice too for £10 and a bit of wedding cake ;)

Why do you think it’s up to you to decide what she should charge? She’s the professional with the experience and knowledge so she gets to decide what her time and work is worth, not you. As previous posters have said - it’s not that she is too expensive, it’s that your budget isn’t large enough to accommodate her. Her snippy reply was probably because she is sick of people like you telling her what she should charge. Would you ask to Prada sell you an item for cheaper because you think it’s too expensive? You don’t get to set the value and cost of services, the provider does. The reality seems to be that you want a professional pianist but you can’t afford one.

Genius response from the pianist, she will have spent a decade or more to get to that level and you need to pay a share of that, you're not paying a babysitter.

I don't get the 'venue is nice' either. I mean sure a pianist may enjoy playing at a nicer venue as opposed to a very horrible one but really, I imagine they all blend into one after a few years of playing and I can't imagine she charges any less for playing in a cheaper venue to an expensive one!

I’m calling reverse. She’s a musician not a plumber. Good luck with finding someone else to do it cheaper.

I think that's a very generous offer.

OP, you were very rude. What does the fact that "the venue is very nice" have to do with anything?

I know that “money for old rope” killed me.

If it’s so easy, it’s a wonder OP doesn’t start hiring herself out as a pianist!

As someone who has performed at many weddings, it’s a very reasonable rate. Glad she put you in your place.

It’ll cost you more than £220 to get to the standard she’s at!!!!

Exactly. £220 doesn’t even cover 4 lessons for my child.

Nobody is a professional "wedding pianist" - not least because you can't make a living doing something where half the gigs are on Saturdays. A professional musician will usually be doing a mix of things, and will charge a professional rate for all of them. It can be a precarious business, especially if most of their work is performing, as they're dependent on getting enough work coming in, and it not clashing.

Mate's rates are unlikely to apply to a friend of a friend.

You asked for a quote, you got a quote. Take it or leave it. Do you normally tell your plumber/decorator/car mechanic that you think their rate is a bit steep?

How much are you paying your photographer?

You really haven’t a clue OP. She explained the realities and if you are “nice people” you should appreciate her honesty.
Better to play a cd as others have said.

She's not your mate tho. Why would you expect mates rates?

I love Eleanor Rigby. There could be a niche market (of me) for this skill set 😂

Generally, the nicer the venue, the less welcoming they’ll be to the musician!

That’s a useful life lesson for you - if you are shockingly rude to people, a certain percentage are going to be rude back.

You’ll be amazed how many fewer rude people you meet if you start being polite to people - you should try it.

My son can play Eye of The Tiger on recorder. That's a good one to add to your repoitore!