Would you pick up a child that wasn’t yours?

[mammabing]

Looking to see what the general consensus on this is.
Earlier this morning I was at the park with DS2 pushing him on one of the swings when a little girl around 6 or 7 came over ‘carrying’ her younger sister (I say ‘carrying’ as she had her under the arms kind of dragging rather than a normal carry). Her sister was around 18-24 months.
The little girl attempted to lift her sister into a swing but couldn’t. She then politely said “excuse me, can you help?”. I asked if her mum or dad were about as I wasn’t sure how they’d feel about a stranger picking up their toddler but she said “no”. Before I could say anything else she lifted her sister again and managed to get her in without a problem.
My question is, is it ever acceptable to lift a child if they’re not your own or without permission? The older girl was so polite asking but I felt kind of weird about it seeing as there was no parent around to ask. I’ve helped a child off a climbing frame when he was stuck once but that seems different for some reason. Plus he was full on sobbing so seemed cruel to leave him dangling!

YABU - help the kid out!
YANBU - don’t lift children without parental permission

I do get involved (and would have here) but it’s a cultural thing and that’s how I’ve grown up.

I personally wouldn’t help.
what if the child couldn’t get out and you’ve left? Or the child isn’t allowed in the swing? You just never know

I wouldn’t even think about it and would just lift the child in.

I understand your hesitance but I think you handled the situation perfectly and it sorted itself out. You checked to see if the parents were on hand first, as always best to ask first before handling another child (if you don’t know the child/parents). The exception is of course a dangerous situation. Occasionally I’ve intervened out of instinct to stop a child getting hurt or taken a distressed child by the hand to find their parents.

Yes that’s how I took your post. Odd the pp decided to put the most negative interpretation on it and have a go at you for it!

I would have helped without hesitation. My children have been helped on and off equipment by other parents, yes including men. I don't automatically assume any ill intent on their behalf.

FHS common sense dictates that you would help the child so the other child doesn't get hurt...! It's a no brainer surely?

I'd only pick up someone else's child if they clearly gave permission and the child was happy to be picked up.

That’s the sort of comment that stopped my husband from watching his grandkids from the swimming pool viewing area.

One lady, obviously of a similar mindset told him that ‘only THOSE people watch from there, the ones beginning with ‘p’ (taps nose)’ 🙄

Yep, PARENTS

I think it depends, to get a kid down from somewhere high and no parents about, for example, yes. But in this case, I'd feel obliged to hang about for when the kid wanted to get off, as they wouldn't be able to do it themselves. I'd stay well out of it.

That reminds me of a time when I was lifting my 12 month old daughter from the top of a small slide (her dad was at the top) and as I was lifting her down I got my feet caught in some netting and tumbled over, somehow managing to stop myself from dropping my DD! I was stuck and couldn't get up while holding my DD. Loads of parents were around and no one came to help me, even though it was obvious taking my daughter would have helped until I'd got up. Instead I laid in the mud until my partner clambered down.

Depressing isn't it . . .

I've helped random children in soft play before - at the point when I was with a 3/4/5yo who wanted me to come in with them or who needed help getting up and down high clambering steps. Once you're deep in there, if you encounter another small child looking stuck or upset because they can't quite reach to climb up, the kind thing to do is offer to help.

I would and have done similar. However worked with children for a long time in various capacities so think it’s more of a natural response for me.

I've helped a small child off a climbing frame before, I'm quite happy to do that but I'd be more reluctant to help a child up/into equipment because if they can't manage themselves then I'd feel obliged to watch them to make sure they don't fall/get hurt. That's if complete strangers, if I know the child (neighbour's child for instance) then I'd help more readily.

To be honest, if there was a 6 year old child struggling with a toddler, I would be far more concerned as to where their parent/ responsible adult was than whether I should be lifting them onto a swing. I would have asked ‘where’s mummy or daddy?’

So you expected her to let the child drop a baby on it's head then...