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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mum at the park was cruel?

71 replies

BlackFriYay · 05/10/2025 14:47

I was at the park with my two children this morning (ages 4 and 6) and they were playing nicely with two other children from different families of similar ages. We've never seen either of them before.

The mother of one boy went over to where they were playing on the roundabout and told her son to go and play on the slide instead.

5 minutes or so later he gravitates back to my DC and the other little boy and as soon as the mother saw he'd re-joined them she went over again and said "let's go and play on the climbing ropes instead"

The little boy was visibly disappointed and followed her to the climbing ropes where she then left him to go and sit down again. He played by himself until we left.

My youngest was a little upset as he thought he'd made a friend and didn't know why he wasn't allowed to play with him.

I can't fathom what that was all about. None of the children were behaving badly so it wasn't about bad behaviour.

AIBU to think she was being cruel?

OP posts:
Holliegee · 05/10/2025 14:51

she may be cruel or she may have thought for some reason that her son was better not to be playing with your son, he might be immuno suppressed and not able to socialise, he might be from a house hold where there’s a really sick person or from a household where a bug has affected them, he might be being treated for head lice or some other contagious illness.
The mum might have anxiety and not be able to face conversation, the child might have behavioural problems and lash out and it’s a battle she couldn’t face today.

MidnightPatrol · 05/10/2025 14:51

Maybe she thought he was annoying you?

MyLimeGuide · 05/10/2025 14:52

She could have social anxiety and been having a really bad day? Didn't want to have to liaise with other humans maybe? - which our kids sometimes force us into!

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 05/10/2025 14:52

Honestly I'd assume she had mental health issues either around health anxiety or OCs type stuff or social anxiety.
A lot of it isnt logical.

I have had mums tell their kids off for "bothering" mine and then removing them.... im baffled every time and the kids are literally just playing nicely.

ShesTheAlbatross · 05/10/2025 14:53

I think it’s such an odd thing to do (most parents would be perfectly happy with their child playing happily with another) that I’d assume there was some reason for it beyond simply she’s so cruel that she hates her son having fun.

CandyRuby · 05/10/2025 14:53

My daughter is autistic and if others kids try to play with her in the park I encourage her away as she can be unpredictable

confusedlab47 · 05/10/2025 14:53

Yeah it’s not cruel so much as odd with out knowing if there was a reason why. Just forget about it.

confusedlab47 · 05/10/2025 14:54

I was thinking tbe same @CandyRuby - there could be a number of valid reasons.

definitely not really cruel. Just odd.

FuzzyWolf · 05/10/2025 14:55

She might have not been happy with the way your son was playing, her child might be unwell and she didn’t want to pass it on, her child might have SEN and be unpredictable. Who knows but I very much doubt she was going out of way to single your son out to be cruel.

Chiloop · 05/10/2025 14:57

Yabu and dramatic tbh to jump straight to cruel there could be a lot of valid reasons, he might not play well with others for various reasons or unpredictable if they go etc etc she might have just wanted a chill day without the potential meltdown

GrannyAchingsShepherdsHut · 05/10/2025 14:58

Were they on the roundabout the whole time?

I have to stop DD playing on the roundabout because she has some coordination difficulties and always gets hurt because she can't balance or hold on properly and she falls off.

AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta · 05/10/2025 14:59

Chiloop · 05/10/2025 14:57

Yabu and dramatic tbh to jump straight to cruel there could be a lot of valid reasons, he might not play well with others for various reasons or unpredictable if they go etc etc she might have just wanted a chill day without the potential meltdown

Edited

This is what I was going to say. To jump straight to an assumption of cruelty is frankly bizarre.

Original poster
BlackFriYay · 05/10/2025 14:59

The first time they were at the slides, the second the roundabout.

Some ideas here I hadn't considered thank you!

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 05/10/2025 15:00

You are judging a woman when you know nothing about her or her child. There is obviously a reason why it was better/safer for her child to be redirected.

sundaychairtree · 05/10/2025 15:12

Maybe he's a biter? Maybe he has chickenpox?

arethereanyleftatall · 05/10/2025 15:15

My go to would absolutely not be that she was cruel! I actually think that’s quite a strange leap. I would assume something to do with illness, either he has chicken pox or something or is immunocompromised.

MyMomUsesColorSafeBleach · 05/10/2025 15:18

To call her cruel is incredibly unkind. You've no idea what the reason was, ive been at the park 4 days having suffered a late term miscarriage because I needed to get out the house and I sure as shit didn't want to talk to random mums when she inevitably came over when the kids were playing.

How about less judgment and a bit more kindness

Frogs88 · 05/10/2025 15:18

I’m sure she had a reason. Depending on the situation/DCs mood/previous behaviour I often take DC away from other kids at the park as he’s autistic and it often ends in physical incidents.

Mumof2under4 · 05/10/2025 15:19

My son is 4 years old and can be a bit unpredictable. Sometimes he plays really well with his peers, other times not so much. I tend to feel quite anxious when he’s playing with children whose parents I do not already know. On those occasisons I do direct him to play with something else, especially if I don’t have the energy to be constantly hovering.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 05/10/2025 15:19

Ive come across this too and it's pretty shit parenting. I wouldn't say cruel but she is controlling her kids and encouraging poor social behaviour.

We have a neighbour that used to avoid eye contact with me and I decided she was extremely shy and felt sorry for her. Then our kids started playing together a few times and on each occasion she called them away from my kids with no explanation. I don't care anymore if she is shy, I now think she is a horrible woman who thinks she is better than her neighbours and I'm glad my kids have nothing to do with hers.

ExposedCankles · 05/10/2025 15:21

Cruel is quite a leap, and a big word. You have no idea what she was thinking.

Skybluepinky · 05/10/2025 15:24

Not cruel at all just ensuring her child is safe from strangers germs and cling on children and their parents.

JLou08 · 05/10/2025 15:38

You don't know what mum and child are really like from a snap shot at the park. There could be a very good reason for the behaviour.

VoltaireMittyDream · 05/10/2025 15:43

I would sometimes try to encourage my DC away from other kids at the park as he’s autistic and can be quite intense and very controlling of how other children play. Not to mention obsessive about dominating the play equipment.

If we’d had a tough morning already and I could tell there was something brewing in his mood I’d try to keep him out of situations that could easily ignite.

themoirarosee · 05/10/2025 15:44

My youngest is autistic, but it’s not visibly obvious. He can however be unpredictable, especially in playgrounds. I’ve shadowed him and pulled him away like this before. Depends on a multitude of reasons, it’s a shame you thought she was being cruel.