In wanting to go and see my friends who live down south?

[LuckySalem]

I really want to take DD to see my friends who moved to Eastbourne a few years ago.
DP won't go cos we went last year and he's a "been there done that" kinda person.

So I asked if I could go with DD. I was gonna go down for 2 nights (which friend has offered to put us up for) and it'll be while he's working anyway.

He works nights (10 -7) and normally sleeps 11-9 anyway.

He says that he'll miss us and doesn't want an empty house so when I say come with us he just sneers and refuses.

Blimey - your dh has 10 hours sleep? Wow.

Is he ill? Or lazy?

We usually get 6 if we're lucky.

GE - Yeh I told him I wasn't having another DC with him and that was enough of a kick up the arse and he's good as gold with her now. EG: today he let me have a lie-in I feel all refreshed now.

Good!

If you can reason with him, and he will listen to reason then you're in a better situation than I was!!

But I agree with hedgwitch. Don't ask his permission. DO it. If it's reasonable. You know what is reasonable and what is inconsiderate. Sounds like you would never go near being inconsiderate to him.

If he sulks, you have to 'suck it up' as somebody else says. In fact, if he merely sulks, I think it shows that on some level he knows he has no reasonable argument.

Tangent here, but when I was 21 and in my first job i got together with a man who had lived in Denmark and Spain and I still lived at home with my parents at that point. He was 28, so only 7 years older than me. But I really looked up to him and admired him for 3 years. Then, one morning I woke up and thought, shut up you sanctimonious arse!

I moved out. He wasn't a bad guy actually, but we had definitely got into that pattern of him guiding me and me accepting that. And as soon as I started to think, actually, no, then it was not going to work a moment longer.

Well he's having a kip on the sofa at the mo with DD asleep in her bouncy chair. - With food all over her face. (Bless him he tried)

So when he wakes up i'll talk to him.

Thanks for everything.

Tell him to sleep the time away and by the time he wakes up you'll be back..

My family is in Ireland so I go there quite often with DS - for about a week at a time! DH doesn't like the empty house either,but he encourages me to go because it's something that means a lot to me.
And this is something that means a lot to you. So GO!! Otherwise what will be the next thing he sulks about???!

Maybe a few days on his own will help him be more independant and be a lot less reliant on you. He might even make a friend.

I'm 23 my DP is 38. I would never ask him for PERMISSION to do anything to me its degrading.

any luck?

G.E, that's what I was getting at in my last post.

It can be hard to get rid of the little voice inside your head which whispers, 'he must be right, i have to be wrong,' with this kind of age gap.

It comes down to confidence and self-esteem.

LS what happened today? Did you talk?

Right i've spoken to him and his new one is we can't afford it as it would cost around £100 in fuel.

So I'm seeing how much the coach would cost (although I'm sure that it wouldn't cost that much to drive to eastbourne and back.

how many miles are you from eastbourne?

according to AA.com 257.6! lol

so approx 500,
i can't do maths, bet you could google the answer

I tried googling and it didn't have anything that would work out the approx cost of fuel. Ahh well.

no are definately nbu even my dp wouldnt be so childish and selfish. and is is a complete tw*t at times! he might not be happy about it and may even say 'id rather you not go' but he would never make a fuss about it, not that i would ask him mind.

actually i dont think he would dare say anything about it after last weeks performance. "why didnt you ask if you could go to the wedding?!!" i dont think i need to tell you all what i said back to that!

just tell him that you are adult not a child and he is your partner not your father, you dont need to seek permission or approval to see your friends.

does he ask you if he can go out? or would you expect him to?

sorry if i have repeated anything already said i only read the op, you really need to put your foot down. he is behaving like a spoilt toddler.

here maybe this might help?

I would probably say something like "just think of the peace and quiet you'll get
Also - play on how nice it will be for you and DD to have a bit of girl time and how much she'll enjoy it.

Oh yeah, I'd go like a shot if I were you!!! in fact you've got me thinking ......!!

Thanks Micci - According to that even if my car consumes 40mpg (which I'm pretty sure it doesnt) it'll cost £70. Now gotta find out how much coach is and tell him to sod off!! lol

Oh and I mentioned about getting a new bike for the couple of days and he said "oh but i'm always sooo tired to ride back, I might fall asleep" So I told him he best find a lift or some money for a taxi then! lol

WOO HOO.

I've told him i'm going the week after the llangollen eisteddfodd. Which is till July 13th and I think he's just resigned to the fact.

Esp cos I've had CTC through (backpayment) I can afford it now! lol