Answering the phone in the middle of a conversation?

[Tacocatgoatcheesepizza]

No it’s not a big deal, and no we didn’t have a big row about it, I’m just interested to know what other people think.

Yesterday DH and I were in the middle of a conversation (not about anything particularly important) His friend rang and he answered it, even though we were talking. He often does this, even in mealtimes which drives me mad. I think it’s rude and he should just call them back when we’re finished. He thinks he should answer the phone. He was also annoyed because his friend heard me complain that we were talking and he thinks that was rude of me.

YANBU - it is rude to answer the phone, he should just call friend back when we’re done in a few minutes

YABU - it’s ok to take the call as (DH’s argument) you don’t know what they want and it’s rude not not to pick up

Yes I would answer the phone. I don’t think it’s rude when you are with your spouse.
I think complaining about it so the friend can hear is rude.

Does he just cut you off and answer or does he say, Mike’s calling I need to get this? The first is rude, second not so bad.

I would wait until the end of a meal to take a phone call, but an informal conversation with the person you live with is fine to interrupt because of a phone call. It was rude to complain so that the friend could hear it.

The person calling cannot see that you are mid conversation so it isn't on them to guess the right time to call.

Yes someone calling might need something from you right now, or it might in your benefit to answer when they do call (might be a company or a specific doctor or something). I think we mostly count the phone ringing as an interruption to be seen to immediately. Like the door knocking. Do you just continue chatting when someone is at the door?

There may be times that you see who is ringing and you know that the call can wait. But mostly not. I can't think of a time that I put off a call because I was mid convo with my partner. Mid shag maybe.

It’s rude, especially during mealtimes. Turn your damn phone off!

And yes, the friend probably thinks your husband has a really overbearing, controlling wife now. I would too.

No, he just answered the phone without saying anything

Really? For thinking he should have just called him back in a couple of minutes?

Also, in my defence, I genuinely did not realise friend could hear me.

Is it on silent? Or you can hear it ring, too?

You didnt think that. You said it out loud because your husband dared to answer his phone at a time you think it is not suitable.

Sometimes rude, sometimes not.

During a meal is rude (unless especially important). Other times it would be polite to say 'is it ok if I take this?' or not take the call.

The phone is not like answering the door! Someone phoning can call back or just leave a message with minimal inconvenience. The person on your doorstep can't.

I always answer the phone if it's DD as it might be an emergency/ situation where she needs help (although of course it is usually something routine and/ or trivial). I always apologise and explain that it's my DD calling which is why I am answering it. In general I don't answer the phone in the middle of a conversation, the person I am talking to.is as important as the person phoning.

On silent

It’s rude and it’s all part of a culture that everyone has to leap on their phone the second it rings and be available on demand at all times.

Do parents think this is a good thing to teach their children? Not to have patience, to know that a call might not be picked up immediately and that’s absolutely fine?

And do people really not join the dots about poor mental health and lack of resilience, and also entitlement?

How old is your DD?

It wouldn’t bother me. You’re looking for issues and that’s draining.

If only there was some way of knowing who was calling so you could call them back at a more convenient time.

I literally said it wasn’t a big deal in my post. Just curious whether it would bother other people or if I’m being unreasonable.

He does this a lot, prioritises phone calls and messages, and I do find it annoying at times. It’s not a massive issue and I never said it was 🤷🏼‍♀️

Then I can see how it takes you by surprise, but given you live together and eat together often, I'd only see it as inappropriate on like Valentines Day or some sort of date night. I think you have to let go of controlling when your husband speaks to people.

100% I don’t control when he speaks to people 😂

He always prioritises his phone, either a call or answering messages immediately. Yesterday it just bugged me a bit more than usual and I said something. I can assure you he will continue speaking to people whenever he wants! He is not going to change that because I grumbled at him one time.

Surely it’s rude to interrupt their conversation 😂

Good. It can be dangerous when you start pandering to these demands.

Erm….. ok
Is “any chance we could finish our conversation before you answer the phone?” really that awful a request? I genuinely had no idea!

My friends tend to be WhatsApp usually so if one of them phoned and we had our phones with us I’d think either of us would answer as it would likely be important. My husband never has his phone on him though so normally someone would call me first if they needed something in an emergency.

if mealtimes are super important to you just talk to him about putting the phones away when you’re at the table - obviously you can’t tell him too but it seems like something a reasonable partner would do if asked.

I think it's a bit rude. At worst he could have looked to see who was calling then called them back after

I have a friend who is tied to her phone. We could be in the middle of a conversation yet she'll always answer her phone if it rings. To be fair though she does often tell the caller she'll ring them back (after speaking to then for a few mins first)

@PurpleThistle7 I totally agree with that - if it’s someone that always messages, a phonecall would be worrying. This particular friend and dh call each other all the time though.