To think most people offer a brew as soon as visitors arrive

[CoheedandCambria]

Light-hearted

If I'm going over to someone's house (invited), most people I know will offer a hot drink pretty much as soon as I've walked through the door. And I will do the same if anyone comes over.
This is the proper way isn't it?!

Whenever we go to PIL we have to wait aaaaages before we're offered anything and recently we only had time to pop by for just over an hour and we didn't have owt moist!

YANBU - a brew as soon as you're over the threshold
YABU - patience is a virtue

Outing to anyone who knows me because I’ve told this to people in rl but we were wrongfully raided by the police and after the initial shock wore off ( and the door was in a thousand pieces on the floor ) i offered the policemen a cup of tea 😭 my son was appalled but it’s just how I am.

That is brilliant! Not your house being raided, obviously, but that is about the most British response ever… did you apologise for them having to step over the mess too?

Excellent

Though I suspect this would me me, too.

YABU for calling it a brew.

Just to clarify - this was supposed to be a light-hearted thread!
Obviously if I was super parched at PIL's I would ask for a drink. They just wait longer than I would to offer!

Why are people offended by the word brew?! Is cuppa better or worse?

Yes op, to me it's a normal courtesy, but some people just forget I think, maybe you could light heartedly say ooh are we having a brew then I'm parched 😂☕
Or you could take some nice m and s biscuits with you, you know give em a prompt.

I find this quite hard to believe! I’ve literally never been to a home of a British person and not been offered refreshment almost immediately. “ come in and have a cup of tea’ is standard phrasing, standard practice.

Calling it a brew sounds like performative Corrie to me but I understand it might not if I lived in the north.

Calling it a cuppa sounds like performative EastEnders to me but I understand it might not if I lived in the south.

Well, I'm from the Midlands and don't hear either as 'performative', just friendly and welcoming.

It's not polite to assume all people have the same traditions. I don't get involved in the weird obsessions that people have about tea or coffee. You want one. You ask. It's your vice not mine. No one ever offers me a Haribo. That's MY vice 😄

What time are they arriving? If they're invited for dinner, I wouldn't spoil their appetite with a brew on arrival. That's for after dinner with dessert.

Cuppa isn't so bad when spoken but as soon as it's written down it's got a terrible 'how do you do, fellow kids' feeling. Obviously not in terms of pretending you're a teenager, but it's like an over familiar Innocent smoothie bottle. Probably rarely was written down, but now social media means that more casual interactions are written down and it still feels 'off'.

"Your water's been cut off, has it?"

^ British best mate to non-British friend not familiar with "the kettle must be on within 3 minutes of opening the door to someone" etiquette.

Never forgot to offer after that.

You'd hate me! I don't drink tea of coffee. And I always forget to offer a drink to visitors!
I also work where I often have people shadowing me etc. Never offer them a drink.
Sorry everyone!

For goodness sake, I'd be asking them "have you paid your leccy bill? Well get 't bloody kettle on then!"

I’d never offer ‘a brew’. I always offer a drink, hot or cold but a brew is not vernacular here.

It literally is your family tradition if your family are asking you for it!

So, yes, it's incredibly impolite for you not to remember that your parents would like and expect a cup of tea when they arrive.

My SIL makes you wait fir a brew. She is a 3 hour drive away, and we are gagging when we get there. But we are sat in the lounge, have a chat about nothing, and all we can think about is tea. We have thought about popping to Greggs for a tea before we visit, but usually looking forward to seeing them.

Yes always offer a drink it's good manners.

@Tilly1234566
What if guests had travelled say 1.5-2 hours to visit you. Would you not offer something to drink?

Definitely. If I'm quite familiar with the person & comfortable in their home I've no problem saying "do you mind if I put the kettle on?" But they usually offer first

It’s polite to offer guests something. If they aren’t invited for lunch or dinner you MUST offer tea and biscuits 😁

The moment you cross the threshold in my house, you’re offered a hot drink. It doesn’t matter if you’re the window cleaner, the fella carrying out the boiler service, or a guest per se.
It’s very rude not to offer someone something to drink.

They are usually doing manual labour - they need fuel to keep them going! That’s why they usually eat biscuits and have sugar in their hot drinks!

It’s also about generating goodwill. Scratch their back and they might scratch yours! For instance, our plumber agreed to charge us trade price for our new boiler, when he could easily have kept the trade discount himself?

Yes ma’am! 🫡