To think most people offer a brew as soon as visitors arrive

[CoheedandCambria]

Light-hearted

If I'm going over to someone's house (invited), most people I know will offer a hot drink pretty much as soon as I've walked through the door. And I will do the same if anyone comes over.
This is the proper way isn't it?!

Whenever we go to PIL we have to wait aaaaages before we're offered anything and recently we only had time to pop by for just over an hour and we didn't have owt moist!

YANBU - a brew as soon as you're over the threshold
YABU - patience is a virtue

Similar to me ( I only have one cup of black coffee in the morning then drink water) but I do keep a small jar of coffee and a few tea bags for visitors but I have to remember to buy milk especially as I don’t usually have any in the house! If I’m expecting t visitors, my book club for instance, I do buy milk and also bake a cake.

My sister however just puts the kettle on as soon as she arrives to make a drink of tea but luckily she has it black so milk is not an issue. She usually provides me with a few tea bags to keep here so she’s not forced to drink stale ones!

Most of the visitors that myself and parents arrive, had a good hour's journey to get here. Always offer a drink. Got decaf in both tea and coffee plus sweeteners/sugar for those require these.

It's polite.

Everyone knows if you make the tradespeople lots of tea, coffee and a bacon sandwich in the morning and slice of cake afternoon you get a good job done. Family friends always get offered tea and coffee. If I'm really busy I'll hand them a cup and point them to coffee machine.

This, kettle straight on.
Also i would worry about the quality of the work/price on the invoice from tradesmen if I didn’t provide infinite milky sugary tea and biccies.

Of course! I always get the kettle on when visitors arrive. My mother (RIP) would disown me if I didn’t make the tea in the pot too, with a milk jug (not the carton) and naice cups. If they weren’t tea drinkers they’d be offered coffee, water, or anything else I could think of. I do let myself down sometimes not having any interesting soft drinks in, but in Summer I often have iced tea.
Always have a stash of biscuits hidden from the teens too, because a drinks too wet without one 😉
My friends are the same, and my favourite friends are ones who are properly brought up and arrive with cake!
I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t perform this ritual!
Ex MIL was excellent in this regard too- endless supply of tea and then gin and tonics after 5 pm!

When family arrive generally the first thing they’ll say is “put the kettle on!”. It always already is on.

Friends are offered a drink before they even sit down.

It’s the British way innit?

Oh yes @IfNot if I had continued my MIL's pattern it would go on from the lapsang into the 6pm G&T, the glass of wine cooking dinner and a nice bottle during the meal.

She's not a big drinker herself but very thoughtful of what everyone else might like!

I know someone who NEVER made anyone a brew if you went to her house, not for the whole visit. She also keep looking at her watch and the clock and yawning. You knew you weren’t welcome. Yet she’d walk in someone else’s house and say “who’s putting the kettle on then?”
She wondered why people stopped going to her house and then tried to use it as a weapon against people (“Nobody makes an effort to come here!”)

Just so you are aware, this is considered impolite in the UK.

Where are you from? I've lived in several countries and it is generally customary to offer guests something - usually coffee, tea or a soft drink. This is often accompanied by some sort of sweet treat too. I now have Sudanese neighbours and you wouldn't get out of their house alive unless you accepted some cinnamon tea and a mouthful of traditional cake!

I get you! Fortunately, the only person I know who says "a brew" is DH's sister, and she's more likely to say, "You'll have HAD your tea."

(My uncle used to call it a "coopa chaaaar" in a fake Brummie-ish accent, which was also mildly annoying, but an offer of a hot drink is an offer of a hot drink and I wasn't going to fight over terminology.)

Yep. At brother 1’s home I felt comfortable enough to make a hot drink for everyone or stuck out my tongue and pretend to be dehydrated with my nieces 🤣

On the other hand, brother 2 wouldn’t offer me a drink of water if it was 50°C out. Yes, he’s an arsehole 🤣

Of course, you always offer a new. It’s the way. It’s polite and comforting.

You won't get biscuits here, if you just pop in but will always be offered a hot drink, tea (breakfast or green) and coffee (instant or fancy) with milk or soya within 30 minutes (usually within 10). To be fair, most of my casual visitors ring/txt to say they are on their way round and to pop the kettle on.

Sometimes finding some sugar can be an issue.

If you are on a planned visit, then there will be cakes and biscuits too. I just don't keep them in now that the DC have left home, as I don't have the self-control (even on WLI) to not eat them.

Your in laws must be the only native Brits in the country who don’t! It’s really considered quite rude not to offer.

YABU to use the word ‘brew’.

we drink coffee in this household and that’s what people get offered.

‘a drink’ or ‘refreshments’ is acceptable, ‘a brew’ is not.

(also lighthearted)

I think the more comfortable I am with the person/people, the less likely I am to offer a drink straight away.

When certain relatives come over that I’m not so comfortable with, that’s when it follows the set formula of offering a drink straight away.

I don’t get it-we have coffee shops littered all over the high streets in the UK and yet according to this thread no one appears to actually drink tea/coffee and it doesn’t t occur to them to offer a hot drink when visitors come round. Surely that’s just hospitality?

In life in general, I hope I'll always offer.

However I have noticed with PIL (late 70s) that they have a very entrenched coffee schedule now. They'll offer you coffee and cake if you are there at 11am or tea if you are there just after lunch. At any other times I don't think it'll occur to them. Turn up with a big birthday cake after 2pm and they will say thank you very much and not think to offer it round.

I'm not suggesting all people their age are like this, in the least, but it is something that has changed in them as they've got older.

Everyone I know would think I was ill if the kettle wasn't boiling on their arrival 🤣 I'm famous for it

I offer everyone a hot drink but it’s followed by a sheepish “I only have almond milk, is that ok?” and everyone’s very kind about it but I know it’s not the true British way

I always offer to anyone who comes round (including trades people), it was drilled into us by mum, would be the height of rudeness not to when we were growing up

I’m an odd bod. I find it off putting when somebody asks me straight away as it feels like I’d be being rude by accepting when I’ve just walked in the door!

Will make a mental note to ask others as soon as they arrive as I genuinely didn’t know that this was the norm. I thought it was normal to let people settle in first then ask 😅

Are you my SIL? My PIL don’t offer drinks and it took me a while to realise they were not being rude, but lazy. In my culture you offer tea/coffee as soon as you step in the door.

Anyone who sets foot in my house during the day gets offered a tea or coffee immediately and if they don’t want one I offer them a cold drink as an alternative. If they come round in the evening they get offered alcohol first but I’ll offer them tea, coffee or a soft drink if they don’t want booze.

I’d consider it really rude not to offer any refreshments as soon as someone arrives.