Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Maybe the OP can clarify whether her top was short enough to show her arse and front ladybits? Otherwise I don’t see why the colleagues comment would make any sense as leggings and a long top are not sexy or revealing in any way

Def meant you looked good!

I would have been confused by the message too, but based on comments here agree it was "complimentary". I think you just pretend it didn't happen, unless things escalate of course. I'm sure he is mortified (quite rightly!).

Sue the bugger OP. Constructive dismissal, PTSD, emotional distress, the lot.

It's the "she knows what she's doing" bit that pretty much sums up misogyny. It was a common phrase amongst drooling middle aged, pot bellied blokes back in the 70's when I was a teenager in my first job. They'd say "you know just what you're doing", so putting the onous on me for existing (and presumably being nothing more than a slag) rather than them being gross and married fucking perverts.

I always wonder the same!!

Basically someone at work thinks you are hot, so what, no need to report him, and other nonsense people are suggesting. If you are single and fancy him, ask him out!

I've had a few fans at work (back in my younger days) I've been with my husband since uni so was never available, I just took it as a compliment. A manager once asked me out for a lad he was managing, my God imagine doing that now! It was a shame as he was quite hot and I did quietly admire the look of him too 😆.

Yes it is. It means he found her really sexy and it's her fault. Kinell. Men!

I can’t imagine wearing leggings with my arse on show, even on a casual day!

But yeah he is also gross. Depends how nuclear you want to go really.

Err.. this isn’t a compliment. He means you were purposely showing the outlines of your bits for the guys at work.

It’s not leggings like people wore them in 00s. There is a trend of people wearing them without anything covering the bum bit. I’m assuming that’s what OP did…

I’d reply to the ‘this message was deleted’ and put - unfortunately I saw this before you were able to delete it.

And I’d leave them to stew on that.

Regardless.....to make that comment is beyond disgusting

I thought the same thing as you.

So the guy is obviously sleazy so if you mention it to your boss and put in a grievance, chances are he’ll get sacked cause I bet there’s a load more inappropriate content about women in his chat logs. So think carefully…do you want him to lose his job?

If not, I’d drop in casually that you were disappointed to see that flag up and if you get wind of those sorts of comments again you’ll be raising it with your manager.

I always find it a huge disappointment to find out men make these remarks at work. They go down in my estimation.

I agree. It isn’t bitchy at all it’s saying she looked good

Off topic maybe, but I’m old enough to remember one place where the male staff used to hold up signs with scores out of ten for new female colleagues as they walked out of the room after the introductions. I dread to think what my scores were.

I've absolutely never said anything remotely sexual about a work colleague. Comments like that are just not acceptable in the work place.

God way to make a mountain out of a molehill please don’t do this op

sorry i assumed he was saying the op was sweaty, not him,
so it is even worse

The sweat emoji 💦 can refer to other bodily fluids. Report it now.

however i still think it is bitchy to comment

Probably not, unless he is gay. Same as a straight woman would be unlikely to say anything to a woman, although plenty of women seem to enjoy genuinely bitching about other womens' appearance.

Personally, I would be inclined to go with the 'don't worry, I won't be wearing leggings in the office again' reply. That way, he knows it was seen, gives him the opportunity to reflect and apologise. Not everything has to be escalated straight to HR.

They were just bog standard scrunch leggings with a tight fit casual t shirt, I didn’t really give them much thought to be honest!

Normal leggings or the ones that go right up your arse?

Either way I'd just pretend I'd not seen the message.

Am I missing something? It could have been about someone outside of work, showing off a tinder profile, mutual friend, stranger outside of work?

I mean, the only way to find out for sure would be to report which is up to you OP