Page 6 | To apply DC to a religious school although we aren't religious at all

Playdoughy · 2025-10-03T09:06:40+00:00

First off, we are not from UK, but have been living in London for a long time, DC born here. Can't afford private school, as many I guess. The free school (the only one we'd get in 100,% if based on catchment area) is a Catholic one, curriculum includes daily prayer etc... We are not religious, not practicing. Looking at our background we are closely related to several major religions. While we've heard that some people start going to church ahead of school age for their kids, just to get a spot at school - I thought that is sort of optional. Especially because all these schools also point out importance of diversity etc... But looking at their curriculums - there is a portion of time that is actually dedicated to bible, praying etc... Does everyone attend? Is it mandatory? I know I can go to an open day and find out about all that, but at this point I feel that we've grossly misjudged this - that it may be even considered rude to ask 😐

BlueJuniper94 · 04/10/2025 21:45

Flakey99 · 04/10/2025 20:05

I strongly disagree.

Dividing people on religious grounds always leads to conflict and harm.

I think it’s vital that more non religious children go to religious schools because then maybe there’s a tiny chance that the religious zealots might finally realise that they’re actually very wrong about their superiority complex.

My DS went to a Catholic Primary school. We’re not religious in the slightest. He didn’t take part in the religious ceremonies but he got top marks in religion because he reads a lot.

Some of the worst bullies at secondary school attended the Catholic Primary. All those Masses they attended had zero effect on their moral compass.
They still turned out little shits.

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Can't help but wonder if that is the effect of secular Catholic education... not following Christ at all if they treat people badly.

Ohtheplaces · 04/10/2025 23:58

I just remembered that in my home town three non-denominational high schools (3 seperate sites across town) were merged to create one new high school, part of a C of E academy. I just looked up the policy on withdrawal and basically the head tells parents that you can withdraw if you really must but that they knew it was a C of E academy when they applied. The whole website drips with religion; it’s right, left, front and centre. Clearly no light touch. If you do not want your child in this environment, all the kids who would previously have had a non-denominational high school go where? The only other high school is Catholic. The original three schools covered all the different areas of town geographically so the next nearest non religious affiliated schools are in the nearest city. The closest one is over subscribed so it’s unlikely kids from the town would get in. If they did they have a tricky bus journey that their parents would have to pay for as opposed to walking to the high school
in their own town. Crazy. It’s a terrible school too. On its second C of E academy chain after the first failed Ofsted for years and was removed.

Original poster

Playdoughy · 05/10/2025 00:57

Psychologymam · 03/10/2025 22:48

OP is based in London - do you think that’s the only school in the city? Of course there’s another option. OP wants this school, presumably it’s preferable for academic and behavioural reasons, but she would also like the school to change their polices for her. Equally, she could ask the other local non religious schools to obtain outstanding ratings and better academic results?

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You do understand that it is not feasible to travel to a non local school during the rush hour in London? The homes that fall in (free) school catchment areas are significantly more expensive and less available. There are actually a lot of areas where you don't fall in the catchment area of a single free school. There are areas where on paper you may fall into catchment areas for 2 school but in a certain year you still may get unlucky, if there are say - too many siblings. In London - you really are not spoilt for choice when it comes to free schools..You take what you can.

OP posts:

Original poster

Playdoughy · 05/10/2025 01:08

ViolaPlains · 04/10/2025 12:51

You don’t say if it’s primary or secondary. If it’s primary I would also check the admissions of the attached RC feeder high school. You might end up sending your child to a primary who won’t be able to get into the secondary school with their friends.

It is primary. And thank you, I don't even know what a feeder school is (I think I get the idea).

OP posts:

Original poster

Playdoughy · 05/10/2025 01:16

FabulousWealthyTart · 04/10/2025 19:44

Yeah, it’s ethically wrong to pretend to follow a particular faith, when you absolutely don’t believe in their God. It undermines those whose faith means so much to them, in my opinion…and I speak as an Atheist.

I am absolutely not planning on pretending to follow anything. That's not what I said - I said I know of other people doing it.
What I wanted to know if my child, who does note come with a religion attached, could attend and not feel horribly excluded and also not making anyone else uncomfortable or unhappy by not following.

OP posts:

LillyPJ · 05/10/2025 02:06

Why would you inflict religion on a child when you're not religious?

Mischance · 05/10/2025 08:32

Ohtheplaces · 04/10/2025 23:58

I just remembered that in my home town three non-denominational high schools (3 seperate sites across town) were merged to create one new high school, part of a C of E academy. I just looked up the policy on withdrawal and basically the head tells parents that you can withdraw if you really must but that they knew it was a C of E academy when they applied. The whole website drips with religion; it’s right, left, front and centre. Clearly no light touch. If you do not want your child in this environment, all the kids who would previously have had a non-denominational high school go where? The only other high school is Catholic. The original three schools covered all the different areas of town geographically so the next nearest non religious affiliated schools are in the nearest city. The closest one is over subscribed so it’s unlikely kids from the town would get in. If they did they have a tricky bus journey that their parents would have to pay for as opposed to walking to the high school
in their own town. Crazy. It’s a terrible school too. On its second C of E academy chain after the first failed Ofsted for years and was removed.

This sums up the problem perfectly.

sashh · 05/10/2025 09:02

Playdoughy · 05/10/2025 01:08

It is primary. And thank you, I don't even know what a feeder school is (I think I get the idea).

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Feeder schools are primary schools that lead to a place at a particular secondary.

I went to an RC secondary school and the 'feeder schools' included one in the next town over. You could literally live on the same road as the school and not get a place but a child at the feeder school 10 miles away would get a place.

Arran2024 · 05/10/2025 18:12

My younger daughter went to a non religious primary school but her sister went to a CoE school.

My thoughts are that the non religious school was much more inclusive and understanding of sen, behaviour issues etc. It had good policies and spent money on services to help the children who needed help.

The CoE school seemed to think that bible teachings would cover everything. They had sessions with the vicar where the non religious school did citizenship type classes.

My elder daughter had been at the school for a year - it was a junior school - and I realised my younger daughter wouldn't thrive there (it was also extremely old fashioned).

Btw there was a Catholic primary next door. I knew a woman who had sent their daughter there even though they weren't Catholic and she pulled her daughter out in the end because her daughter was getting upset not getting prepared for Communion. I think the girl was feeling she wasn't special like the others.

Psychologymam · 05/10/2025 20:14

Playdoughy · 05/10/2025 00:57

You do understand that it is not feasible to travel to a non local school during the rush hour in London? The homes that fall in (free) school catchment areas are significantly more expensive and less available. There are actually a lot of areas where you don't fall in the catchment area of a single free school. There are areas where on paper you may fall into catchment areas for 2 school but in a certain year you still may get unlucky, if there are say - too many siblings. In London - you really are not spoilt for choice when it comes to free schools..You take what you can.

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Why do you bother debating it if you just have to take what you can get and have no choice in the matter…. Unless that’s not actually true?
Of course it’s feasible to travel a little bit for another school - it may be difficult in that you might need to change work hours slightly, manage pre or after school care etc., but if you feel strongly about attending a non religious school it’s probably worth exploring? Sounds like this school is very handy location wise and a good school so it would be useful to ask some questions around the faith aspect and see if it’s a level you would feel comfortable with? Some schools may also allow a student to opt out of parts of the religious instruction which might be an option?