Why do you allow your teen on Snapchat?

[KimGa]

DS is about to turn 14. All his mates are on Snapchat, he’s coming to me daily upset that he’s left out because I won’t allow him to download it and that’s how they all communicate.

When he asked for it I read up on it and tried downloading it myself to see whether it would be ok. The Stories / discover page is absolutely full of soft core porn videos and loads of other crap. From what I have read it’s not possible to turn this feature off.

I’m shocked at all the other parents being ok with this app - do people not realise what it’s like or think it’s harmless?

I don’t want him to be left out but I don’t think I can say yes to this.

Having the same issue with 13yr old DD atm.

My children will not have it. There are multiple issues with it. Location settings are default set to share your precise location at all times. Disappearing messages are clearly used for illicit purposes. I see no good from it at all and it’s a significant cause of problems at school

I don't allow my 13yo on Snapchat.
Completely unnecessary.

My 15 year old isn't allowed snapchat or tiktok and it's just tough shit that everyone else's mum lets them.

My daughter doesn’t have it. She has a non-smart phone. Problem solved.

Just looked at my daugter’s and there’s nothing like that. She says they don’t look at that anyway. (She’s 17 now.)

She’s made friends through it, I don’t think it’s all negative.

I use it all the time, and have never seen anything like that. My older teens use it and have remained unscathed.

No no no.

Don't let them have it. It's truly awful. Feeling left out is a teen's best argument and you need to resist it. They will survive.

My son had it from 14 without any issues. My daughter is 16 and isn’t interested in using it.

I understand it causes issues with some kids but can only base it on your own children on how sensible they are etc. My son used it without any issues, he’s 21 now.

My teens have it and I also have it so I can message them on it - it’s the only thing they will reply to! I know of younger teens who have been bullied or cat fished on it so they weren’t allowed it until they were 14. They’re both in bed asleep now, they’re not allowed phones overnight.

Mine don’t have it. 14 and 16.

I have Snapchat (only use it to communicate with kids; all at secondary school) and I haven’t seen any thing like that on my feed.

Mine have it to communicate with friends they would be out of the loop if they didn’t have it.

Youngest had some issues but we discussed things and learnt from it.

My teens and I have it. They turn off their location sharing. I’ve never seen any porn on it, may be that’s our wifi and family settings prohibiting access to it?
Kids use it to communicate.

Honestly, the drama.

I have three teens. They also use Snapchat. That’s the only way they communicate with their friends. They have group chats for their sports, classes in school etc. They do nonsensical things (to me) mine have ‘streaks’ (uninterrupted days of quick ‘snaps’ (photos). It’s their world.

Do I have issues with their phone usage? Absolutely, yes.

My eldest (girl) was always fine. Easily self-regulated, needed very minimal supervision. Now 18. My 16 yo & 14 yo (boys) are nightmares with their phones, and so both still have limits, time restrictions etc.

However, that’s the wider issue of phone usage, not Snapchat. My DC got a phone only when going to secondary school (Ireland so that’s aged 12 or 13 here). I monitored their usage & messages initially. They didn’t see any porn or anything inappropriate on Snapchat, the fyp shows lots of stupid sports type stuff. It’s a time waste but not worrying in terms of content.

banning apps doesn’t help them regulate & learn. Much as I dislike Snapchat (the illiterate writing style mainly) I recognise it’s their world, and my job is to (try to) teach critical reasoning and self-regulation.

Thanks for everyone’s thoughts. When I say soft core porn on the discover page I mean girls in bikinis dancing about not actual sexual acts, it’s videos titled ‘she was cheated on with this hottie’ etc. All still pretty grim but I wonder if it would have been any different if I’d put my child’s age rather than my own when I set it up.

Unfortunately my son does have a tendency to watch lots of crappy short videos on YouTube if left alone with his laptop (teenagers playing practical jokes etc) so I’m not sure he’d have the self control not to watch this bit of the app if there’s no way to turn it off.

I check my son's snap chat all the time and i have it too. Never seen anything like that before on my account or his. It is the way they all communicate nowadays, cant get a hold of my nephew unless its through snapchat. . I much prefer whatsapp but hey thats the way it is these days.

Jeez, a girl in a bikini, dancing or not, is not soft core porn.

You can "restrict sensitive content" for supervised teen accounts but I don't know how effective it is. (DS, 13, is also not allowed it and feels he's the only one, left out of group chats etc.)

help.snapchat.com/hc/en-gb/articles/13904198624276-How-do-I-restrict-content-for-my-teen-in-Family-Centre

You describe that as “soft core porn”…I’m lost for words.

Mine has it but I use it myself so kind of understand why my child would. I manage the amount of time spent on it via parental controls though to minimise any negative impact.

My dd was allowed it at 14 as it is really how they all communicate. They use it to arrange things and talk about school stuff. She says she’ll delete it when she leaves school because anyone she wants to stay in touch with then can just message. She’s is allowed but has opted against TikTok.

DS is 11. Just got first phone. Definitely will have no internet access or social media on it before 14 - we will reassess then.

I came on this thread to basically say this!
The hand wringing about tech and apps is a complete mn phenomenon I find.
In real life most parents allow their teenagers these things because it is how they communicate with their peers (yes, your son will be left out!).
The minority of children without a smart phone are obviously protected from the nasties that do sometimes appear (but generally only if the user has searched for something similar, the algorithms tend to show you what you are interested in, mine pops up with adverts for horses for sale for example, weirdly not random porn🤔). When these protected children finally get their hands on snap chat etc they will be years behind their peers in dealing with any issues that crop up, potentially away from parents (at uni for example) and be completely clueless!! At least teenagers at home with parents have someone to advise them on what to do if they see anything they are not comfortable with.
We cannot protect out children from the world and I would much rather mine are learning about the good and the bad whilst they are at home with me to guide them through it.

Blimey, your poor kids. My 3 boys are adults now and have always used it, as have I. Never seen anything terrible on it and none of my boys have used it for 'bad' purposes. Merely for seeing where their mates are and various group chats. It's not that sinister 🙄!

Mine both use it a lot, my 17 year old has had it for years I think. I had never even heard of Snapchat until after they had got it and I didn't even know what it was at the time. To be honest, I don't know how you would really know what they are doing on a phone if it's a smartphone. They could hide anything from you by deleting it and then getting it back, surely?
I don't think it's cause any issues for mine, anyway. What I hate most is the mindless scrolling of my youngest, but it's not inappropriate, just addictive.