AIBU for being mad at my little sister for telling three hoodies where she's from when they asked her "You from around here?"?

[concernedbigsis]

My little sis is 23 and does vlogs when she goes out because it's her hobby.

A few days ago I found a new video where she was out shopping, alone, and three white males, all capped, hooded and around her age, approach her to talk to her.

In the video one of them asks her if she's from around here, the other two are like "yeah where are you from" while squinting a little when they asked, and she mentioned the street she lives on.

She began to have a friendly conversation with them after and thankfully nothing happened to her. We live on a small street so I'm freaking out.

For those who are unaware, I'm worried this might've been g checking which from what I've looked into is asked with malicious intentions.

Told her they probably went easy on her because they assumed she was one of them/in their gang because she wears a full track suit to stay warm (she's got circulation issues) but she really should not have answered that question or at least gave a bs answer.

Am I overreacting? I'm her older sis we live together and I'm worried and can't sleep because I'm worrying over this so much

Well this thread has been an eye opener, I have led a very sheltered life. TBH OP, given what you’ve said about your location, isn’t it risky for your sister to wander around videoing herself with (I assume) an expensive smartphone? I’d be worrying about it being snatched

Sometimes they're asking for just the town, other times it's the street or estate.

If you come from an area that deviates too far from theirs or they don't vibe with that area that's when they attack you

At 23 she is your younger sister she isn’t little. I’m not sure why it matters what anyone was wearing or doing. Perhaps the area you live in has gangs etc? Otherwise I’m a bit confused she is 23. It sounds like a fairly normal conversation and nothing untoward has occurred. You do sound critical of her.

I've told her this, she shrugged and says she'll continue vlogging because it's her money and it's what she wants to do.

This city has always been so bad for this since the mid 2000s. I'm partially used to it.

You don't go to the shop on your own if it's getting dark out, not even the one a 10 minute walk away.

You avoid walking through parks in the evening, early morning or at night. These people like to loiter in parks so they can attack people walking past.

I feel like it has gotten slightly worse since COVID.

She passed the test and didn’t get attacked. I don’t know what more you want from her? These people have probably not even given your sister a second thought since the question.

I can believe it, OP. It’s terrible what happened to your friend. I’m not surprised that because of it you’re worried about your sister.

If they were ok with her and chatting normally after she answered I’d see that as a reason to not worry.

I’d have a chat with her about being careful in future though. And, try not to tar them all (hoodies) with the same brush. Some who do dress like that mean no harm.

Why the deal about them squinting? Maybe they need glasses and they’re too G to admit to it

They started squinting when the "You from around here?" question came up

It came across as them being suspicious

They also asked it in a suddenly monotone voice, different from the voice before.

You do have choices op. You don’t have to stay there.

So she hasn't just told 3 guys.

But the whole of the Internet where she lives???

She posted them privately ie only friends and family with the link to her profile can see them. It's a hobby/theraputic thing for her to be able to look back on them

Very kindly OP, what did you want her to do in that situation?

You keep responding to PP who are very sheltered and cant seem to believe that gang culture/country lines is as bad as it is.

Yet you are ignoring all the PP who have stated that if she didnt answer or gave a different street she may have been attacked. So yes, YABU to be angry with your sister and expecting her to not do her vlogs/go out.

Your concerns are valid.

I think in this area it would be sensible to not go out alone in this area. Especially as a lone woman. I assumed this happen in the day, which probably means this are worse after dark.

OP says it was a few days ago she found the video. A few days ago where I live was freezing. As in there was frost on the car when I left for work.

If this is a serious comment then it comes from the privilege of living somewhere safe where this kind of thing isn't endemic. OPs description of the clothing and the actions / tone of these people shows that tbey aren't just normal friendly teens looking for new mates.

The OP is not just telling us about the clothing. She has put it all in context...the clothing, language used, body language etc.

Come on, it isn't that difficult to read between the lines here.

@rainbowunicorn I am agreeing with you, but responding to the poster you replied to.

You’re being very naive. This sort of thing happens all the time in some areas.

It's definitely not too warm for tracksuits 🤔 I've had jeans and a thick jumper on the past 2 days and the DC are wearing their warmer coats to school.

Just sounded like they were being friendly.

All the young males around here dress that way. Not sure if they all squint though.

There are a lot of very, very naïve posters on here, probably middle-class, who have absolutely no idea about the youth culture in some of the UK's big cities.

When my nephew was about 14-15, we were shocked to learn from him that the city we live in was divided into 'territories', marked by graffiti signs. Teenagers and young adults who had any clue did NOT stray into areas that were not their own, they only stuck to the streets or estate around their house, or the shopping high streets and city centre.
Large areas of the city are completely off-limits to teenagers and young adults, with a real risk of violence if they 'trespass'.

God, this site, honestly. The amount of people on here that think it came possible have happened because it doesnt happen in their little bit of the world. Why the sarky comments, putting OP and her sister down. Mocking her and minimising her actual lived reality. Some of you need a reality check about what's going on in this country.

To be fair, I don't come across these gangs either, and I have either lived in or visited a lot of the cities on the list I posted earlier.

So, your laughing emoji is rather ridiculous.

Exactly it's not naive to say this really isn't the epidemic the OP is making it out to be.

It would also be correct to say for most people even in these big cities these gangs are not targeting those just going about their business unless they suspect those people of being in rival gangs.

It sounds like a bunch of teens with nothing better to do. It doesn’t sound like they had any attention at all of harming OP’s sister.

I’m sure some areas have some anti social behaviour issues obviously, but I don’t think you can make such a wide sweeping judgement on tracksuits and decide they are dangerous either.

I hate tracksuits with a passion, but not everyone is a gangster that chooses to wear one.

I agree completely. I don’t think I’ve ever come across an internet forum with such a high proportion of people who live in the their own bubble and have no idea what life is really like for a large proportion of young people, particularly in inner cities. I’ve worked with schools in different parts of south London for many years, and young people who find themselves in the wrong area regularly get assaulted or worse by gangs if they come from the wrong post code. It sounds like the OP’s sister was lucky, but I think the people who are saying that the gang sounded as though they were being friendly really need to understand what real life is like for young people in many areas.