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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for being mad at my little sister for telling three hoodies where she's from when they asked her "You from around here?"?

115 replies

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 04:20

My little sis is 23 and does vlogs when she goes out because it's her hobby.

A few days ago I found a new video where she was out shopping, alone, and three white males, all capped, hooded and around her age, approach her to talk to her.

In the video one of them asks her if she's from around here, the other two are like "yeah where are you from" while squinting a little when they asked, and she mentioned the street she lives on.

She began to have a friendly conversation with them after and thankfully nothing happened to her. We live on a small street so I'm freaking out.

For those who are unaware, I'm worried this might've been g checking which from what I've looked into is asked with malicious intentions.

Told her they probably went easy on her because they assumed she was one of them/in their gang because she wears a full track suit to stay warm (she's got circulation issues) but she really should not have answered that question or at least gave a bs answer.

Am I overreacting? I'm her older sis we live together and I'm worried and can't sleep because I'm worrying over this so much

OP posts:
Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:36

Linenpickle · 02/10/2025 07:33

Your sister should definitely take that video down because she should not be telling people where she lives because that is quite frankly just absolutely moronic of her to do so. She’s clearly too immature to be doing what she’s doing. there could be some weirdo who gets some session with her and comes looking for her now. However, you are being very wrong to point out the colour of these people cause it shouldn’t matter.

I have told her this and she deleted the video but I fear the damage has already been done

OP posts:
user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:37

DS was approached by a group like the Young Teams when out with college friends a few days ago. He says nothing as it's not safe. One was carrying a switch blade. Your Sis sounds like she dodged a bullet. She needs to say nothing next time.

Reminds me vaguely of the Casual Movement of the 80/90s.

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:39

Luxio · 02/10/2025 06:13

It seems incredibly unlikely that gangs of hoodied youths are randomly attacking people simply because they aren't saying where they are from in broad daylight.

I would wonder if your friend was actually part of a rival gang and that is what led to his assault.

It's a thing! Yes, it does happen in some areas. If you say the "wrong" place you pay the price.

Greysowhat · 02/10/2025 07:40

FlumpUp · 02/10/2025 04:28

Why do you need to point out they were white?

Before people jumped to the prejudiced conclusion that they were other than white. What's the problem with specifying that they were white???

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:41

Some folk on this forum have lived really sheltered lives😂

GoldThumb · 02/10/2025 07:42

You said she was vlogging?

They might have been checking she didn’t have them on camera doing something they shouldn’t have.

G checking is definitely a thing, and has been since I was in school (I’m late 30s)

The thing is, if she hadn’t said where she lived, they might have got aggressive or something.

I’m sure nothing will come of it now, maybe she just panicked.
A bit like when a man you’re not interested in chats you up, and you might smile him off so he doesn’t turn aggressive.

CrowMate · 02/10/2025 07:44

The problem is, if this was a threatening situation, not giving an answer would have led to escalation.

Perhaps now the focus should be on what you / your sister could do should a situation like this arise again?

user1476613140 · 02/10/2025 07:45

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

It's 🥶 where I am in the UK. Tracksuit definitely needed - then some!

Rewis · 02/10/2025 07:46

What are you supposed to do? If you don't say where you live they will beat you. You lie and accidentally say a 'wrong' place? They best you. You lie and say 'right' place and they think you're lying and will beat you. So either you trust that you're a good liar or you tell the truth?

Rewis · 02/10/2025 07:51

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:16

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

Where in the UK is so warm that sleeves can be considered overdressing?

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:53

Can you move? It doesn’t sound especially safe op.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:56

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 07:53

Can you move? It doesn’t sound especially safe op.

I've considered it, but she doesn't want to move.

The "hoodie" culture here is really bad, has been for decades.

People normally cross the street or stay away from groups of men wearing full sporty track suits, baseball caps and trainers with bubbles in them.

You can't really go out anywhere without spotting at least a few every time.

People who have left this city or visited it mention it as being the worst thing about it wondering why these types of people are everywhere.

They are basically gangsters with a weird dress sense/uniform.

OP posts:
Okrr · 02/10/2025 07:57

Your friend that got beaten up was a male. I can see postcode wars affecting males. These guys were likely being friendly or wanted to chat her up.

This wannabe gang culture is truly pathetic. What losers. Hopefully they grow out of it and don’t let a criminal record blight the rest of their life.

Notthatgameagain · 02/10/2025 08:04

FlumpUp · 02/10/2025 04:28

Why do you need to point out they were white?

Because she is describing them ? Why did she say there were 3 of them, why mention what they were wearing, that they were our shopping, that they were male ?? Maybe she should have said a unknown number of life forms approached my family member of which their gender will not be disclosed, then everyone would be happy 🙄
OP of course you should be annoyed at her..it's very irresponsible to let a stranger know where you live.

wineosaurusrex · 02/10/2025 08:04

You sound really paranoid and judgemental.

Irritatingalex · 02/10/2025 08:10

FlumpUp · 02/10/2025 04:28

Why do you need to point out they were white?

Or that they were squinting a little?

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:10

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 07:56

I've considered it, but she doesn't want to move.

The "hoodie" culture here is really bad, has been for decades.

People normally cross the street or stay away from groups of men wearing full sporty track suits, baseball caps and trainers with bubbles in them.

You can't really go out anywhere without spotting at least a few every time.

People who have left this city or visited it mention it as being the worst thing about it wondering why these types of people are everywhere.

They are basically gangsters with a weird dress sense/uniform.

Edited
Show quote history

I am sure at least some of them are just normal teens op. The problem with judging people on what they wear, they might be very nice people and you are assuming the worst. Maybe they are coming back from the gym? Or a run?

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:11

I would insist you move whether your sister likes it or not. 95% of the U.K. is nothing like this! I leave my doors unlocked… and everyone is friendly and kind here. I don’t think this is a nice place to live if it’s as bad as you say it is. Leave.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:15

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:10

I am sure at least some of them are just normal teens op. The problem with judging people on what they wear, they might be very nice people and you are assuming the worst. Maybe they are coming back from the gym? Or a run?

Show quote history

These men were in their 20s and were loitering near a corner shop. I doubt very much that they were athletes or gym goers.

There's tons of videos of people exactly like this randomly attacking strangers

When "Happy slapping" was a thing, these were the people doing it.

OP posts:
Luxio · 02/10/2025 08:15

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:11

I would insist you move whether your sister likes it or not. 95% of the U.K. is nothing like this! I leave my doors unlocked… and everyone is friendly and kind here. I don’t think this is a nice place to live if it’s as bad as you say it is. Leave.

Edited

I don't think the area the OP is in is even like this. It sounds like she's making the assumption that anyone in a tracksuit is one of these people. Quite often I'm guessing those in tracksuits are just people in tracksuits, it's quite common attire for young males to be wearing.

Nestingbirds · 02/10/2025 08:16

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:15

These men were in their 20s and were loitering near a corner shop. I doubt very much that they were athletes or gym goers.

There's tons of videos of people exactly like this randomly attacking strangers

When "Happy slapping" was a thing, these were the people doing it.

Show quote history

Op I think you need to get off the internet and start meeting real people…

2boyzNosleep · 02/10/2025 08:17

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 05:09

That's what I'm saying.

It's very popular among the baseball capped hoodie crowd to ask random people "where are you from?" "you from around here?" etc

And if those people don't answer correctly they get assaulted

Had a friend who had this exact thing happen to him at 19, he didn't give a correct answer so they gave him a concussion

Show quote history

By your explanation, your sister can't do right.

Apart from not posting it online for all to see, I'm not sure what you expected her to do differently in this situation?

She was doing her vlog- they approached her. If she had walked away they may have followed/chased her.

If she had said a different street or refused to tell them, they may have attacked her.

Original poster
concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 08:18

Luxio · 02/10/2025 08:15

I don't think the area the OP is in is even like this. It sounds like she's making the assumption that anyone in a tracksuit is one of these people. Quite often I'm guessing those in tracksuits are just people in tracksuits, it's quite common attire for young males to be wearing.

Show quote history

I think I should've clarified sorry.

It's not just wearing a track suit.

It is the combination of all 3 of these things worn at once:

  1. sports brand track suit
  2. baseball cap
  3. those Nike trainers that have the bubbles in the soles

These are worn in a non sports setting. Even if it is very hot outside.

People know to avoid people who dress like this to the point people will cross the street if they see one or a group of them coming.

OP posts:
UnintentionalArcher · 02/10/2025 08:22

concernedbigsis · 02/10/2025 06:15

He wasn't in any gang.

He was walking to the shop and a group of hooded young men approached him, asked him where he was from

when he said where, they gave him a concussion

these hooded baseball capped youths are famous for doing this kind of thing to random people, at least in the UK

Edited
Show quote history

What’s the ‘correct’ answer to this question? Do you have to give the name of the town, of your street? How do they know if you’re telling the truth?