AIBU for being mad at my little sister for telling three hoodies where she's from when they asked her "You from around here?"?

[concernedbigsis]

My little sis is 23 and does vlogs when she goes out because it's her hobby.

A few days ago I found a new video where she was out shopping, alone, and three white males, all capped, hooded and around her age, approach her to talk to her.

In the video one of them asks her if she's from around here, the other two are like "yeah where are you from" while squinting a little when they asked, and she mentioned the street she lives on.

She began to have a friendly conversation with them after and thankfully nothing happened to her. We live on a small street so I'm freaking out.

For those who are unaware, I'm worried this might've been g checking which from what I've looked into is asked with malicious intentions.

Told her they probably went easy on her because they assumed she was one of them/in their gang because she wears a full track suit to stay warm (she's got circulation issues) but she really should not have answered that question or at least gave a bs answer.

Am I overreacting? I'm her older sis we live together and I'm worried and can't sleep because I'm worrying over this so much

Hang on did she post this video on her vlog and has now told the whole Internet where she lives or just these 3 thugs?

She posts them privately ie only to friends and family who have a link to her account. She says she doesn't want any wide exposure she likes recording things so she can look back later

But she clearly makes new 'friends' easily...

It seems incredibly unlikely that gangs of hoodied youths are randomly attacking people simply because they aren't saying where they are from in broad daylight.

I would wonder if your friend was actually part of a rival gang and that is what led to his assault.

He wasn't in any gang.

He was walking to the shop and a group of hooded young men approached him, asked him where he was from

when he said where, they gave him a concussion

these hooded baseball capped youths are famous for doing this kind of thing to random people, at least in the UK

Don't do that. This woman lives in an environment very different to you. Don't judge her, belittle her, insult her friend, and minimise his being attacked.

I'm not trying to judge, I've genuinely never heard of this almost epidemic scale level of hoodied baseball cap wearing thugs assaulting random strangers for incorrectly answering a question. I'm curious which part of the UK the OP resides in where this is so prevelent. I do however know several people who you wouldn't have suspected were in a gang who have sadly suffering a beating from a rival gang.

@concernedbigsis I dunno what to suggest. But your sister shouldn't tell people where you live.

Also, the track suit is identifying her as a possible member of that section of society.

I know she has a circulation condition so needs to be warm but perhaps she should think about swapping out the track suit, and wearing other warn clothing.

There are loads of options flattering for different body types that would elevate her from the hoodie gaze while allowing her to still look on-trend.

It may look crazy from the outside looking in but these things happen. These are just young people living their lives that by accident of birth or socio-economic circumstance live in areas of disfunction. One misstep can result in tragedy.

Saying that these incidents are just intergang conflicts is comfortable and makes it easier to understand in that they would then be logical outcomes by mutually bad actors, and therefore deserved - but they are anything but that.

It’s not a usual thing in the UK at all. My DH has been a police officer for 19 years across Essex, Suffolk and the midlands and when I mentioned it to him he said it would only happen in areas where there is an ongoing turf war which crop up and fade away. They’d only target people they thought were in a rival gang. OP might have this in her area but it’s NOT usual.

i have 2 DC and nothing like this has ever happened to them in our town or where they are both living up north. I also don’t see random lads hanging around talking to strangers.

Also at 23 I wouldn’t chat to randoms. I was in a professional job and mixed with adults. The sister is acting like a young teenager.

This whole thing is just bizarre

I’m sorry to hear about your friend but this is not reflective of the whole of the UK.

I think you need to have a word with your sister about how conspicuously recording these videos in public is placing her in a vulnerable position.

I don’t think you can say they are famous for this sort of thin, I’ve never heard of it. And what would have happened had she refused to answer? Surely that would have been more likely to escalate if the man had had bad intent.

I think you sound quite paranoid. Where I the uk do you live?

Saying that these incidents are just intergang conflicts is comfortable and makes it easier to understand in that they would then be logical outcomes by mutually bad actors, and therefore deserved - but they are anything but that

I'm not saying the people who get hurt are always in a gang unfortunately that applies to the ops friend and I hope he is ok but I do think it is predominantly related to being in a gang.

I don't for one minute believe there is this supposedly wide spread issue of people assaulting strangers in the way the OP describes.

Her sister of course shouldn't be filming and engaging in discussions with these people if they are known to cause trouble but unfortunately she is an adult so the OP can only advise her not force her to follow this sensible advice.

while i agree that she shouldn’t have volunteered that information, if they wanted to harm her, they could just have followed her anyway and find out where she lives that way.

I’ve never heard of this and I live in London. There are plenty of roadmen about - they like stealing phones and smashing shop windows.

id advise your sister to cross the road from approaching hoodie types in future. As for the tracksuit attire, does she have Raynaud’s cos there are other solutions to keep warm.

Where on earth do you live? I have never heard of this. Maybe they were interested in her video? You sound very guarded op.

Do you even live in the U.K. I am wondering? It’s very warm here at the moment, way too hot for a tracksuit even with a condition.

Your husband confirms that in his experience in Essex, Suffolk, and the Midlands this happens.

Does he work in a regional organised crime unit specialising in this?

I'm delighted that neither you nor your sons live in areas of dysfunction.

West Mids, one of the most dangerous areas of it.

Not going to get any more specific than that though.

Erm, not everywhere. Yesterday was mild, but not "very warm". Certainly jacket weather when out and about.

Maybe they were just bored and being friendly? And moat young people wear goodies but they're not all violent or in gangs. Yabu.

Just found this list of the UK's most dangerous cities

Your sister should definitely take that video down because she should not be telling people where she lives because that is quite frankly just absolutely moronic of her to do so. She’s clearly too immature to be doing what she’s doing. there could be some weirdo who gets some session with her and comes looking for her now. However, you are being very wrong to point out the colour of these people cause it shouldn’t matter.

It's not just hoodies (the clothes) though.

It's full track suits of sporty brands, baseball caps and trainers that have those little bubbles in them.

People generally steer clear or cross the street when they see a group of men dressed like this