Is fatphobia a real thing?

[AnxiousApocalypse]

Having watched the Panorama documentary on the Met Police and the police officer making rude comments about a fat woman and how "she was so fat she had two pussies", I'm wondering how much hate and disgust most people truly have against fat people? I'm not excusing it and saying it's not dangerous for your health to be overweight or obese, but surely being rude and ignorant isn't the answer?

I confess I find morbid obesity alarming. It looks uncomfortable, if not painful, and I just wince thinking about how people cope with everyday things like washing or just getting up from a chair.

When I’m carrying a few extra pounds I notice the difference in getting up and down from seats and going up stairs.

Yes,I'm sure some people think that being fat is contagious. I used to be very overweight and I frequently noticed that one particular woman who used to wait at the same bus stop as me, would go out of her way not to sit or stand near me. I've lost nearly 8 stone in weight over the last few years, and guess what? She doesn't do it any more,she even speaks to me occasionally!

I wear a 5kg weighted vest for hikes and it feels heavy to put on. I can't believe that's just a stone, and can't imagine what it must feel like to carry 3/4/6/10 stone of excess weight, and what a strain that must put on someone's skeleton.

Same. The joys of being short!

Of course fat phobia exists.

A colleague once told he she'd kill herself if she was as fat as me. Nice.

I think that's just being incredibly rude and tactless though. People do it about all sorts.
We don't have kids and a friend once casually commented that they'd hate to live in a house without kids as it would just be so...dead.
It's a choice not to have kids, rather than a medical issue, so it just cracked me up. But I did think "Jesus, steady on!"

Of course it’s a thing, but it’s shorthand, not an actual phobia.

Fat people are stigmatised snd always will be.

I’ve heard people talk in a similar way to that police officer, not as vulgarly or explicitly, but with the same tacit revulsion.

I must admit I thought the same thing.

Overweight = fat

Chubby = fat

Rotund = fat

It's fine for people to choose the words they're most comfortable with, but it still means fat.

Absolutely, some one on one of these two threads, has said all fat people know they are fat. They don’t. People will do many things rather than even admit to themselves they are fat. I did it. Many others do it. As we don’t like the word, so we pretend it means proper morbid obesity. It doesn’t. If you’re overweight, you’re fat. Pretend we are a smaller dress size than we are, by wearing stretchy clothes, all black, asking people who we know will always say no no you’re not fat if we ask, even though we are. Two thirds of our population are fat. So if people are stigmatising being fat. It’s in the large part other fat people. There is no way round this. Calling it chubby or rotund doesn’t change that for this to be common as people are saying them fat people are abusing each other, simply for being more fat.

That was you though its not all fat people

I am now a size 12 I would class myself as chubby I don't think many would even class me as chubby but they do not see me with no clothes on. Being a size 12 15 years ago I looked slim, my body has changed I carry weight differently

I had no issue calling myself fat when I was, neither was I fat and proud I was disgusted with myself but not fooling myself but I am aware many people do. I always hated the 'you are curvy' comments. This is dangerous as its become a word used to describe woman who are overweight. I was curvy at size 16-18 and I was curvy size 8-10 as that is my shape, I was also fat and obese at size 16-18 I was slim at size 8-10. I often found other people would tell me I am not fat or obese, they were uncomfortable my naming this. I certainly was. I may not have been the weight people expected me to be or the clothes size I was obviously overweight and fat

Absolutely, some one on one of these two threads, has said all fat people know they are fat. They don’t.

I agree.

I see clothing influencers on IG who promote themselves as ‘midsize’, when many are just fat.

I am currently assessed at obese. I did not know that I had got fat, let alone obese, until I realised that if I went outside of my go to leggings and yoga pants, I was fucked. My clothes no longer fit me.

Is fatphobia a thing? Definitely, I would say. One of the reasons I didn't want to go home for a 'pre-funeral' was my weight, and how my mother and my extremely eating disordered and fatphobic sister would react.

I was telling my daughter about meeting a member of the family that had married in, for the first time. She is dramatically huge. I told Mum after meeting her 'you could have warned me', because I was taken aback. My daughter was bewildered, and disapproving, asking 'why would you want to be 'warned'? With which I wholeheartedly concur.

Most of my life I have been small, or regular sized. Now I'm obese.

I eat healthily, mainly, I exercise - not as much as I should, at this juncture, though. However, I'm perimenopausal, had a stroke just over a year ago, am on lifelong medication now that causes fatigue and pain, have given up drinking, and have put on over 15 kilos in the last year.

One thing I have always known - you might be able to see another person's weight - that doesn't mean you see THEM. You don't necessarily see their genetic makeup, that can predispose a person to obesity, you don't see how they were brought up, what they ate, how chaotic their childhood was, how limited their education and capacity may be, what their struggles and challenges are, limiting energy and opportunity and causing fatigue. You don't see their financial limitations, their time constraints. You don't know what addictions they are struggling to overcome, what their family culture is. You don't know their health struggles, and conditions, their medications.

To reduce a person to their weight, and to make a judgement, of laziness or otherwise, solely on that, says nothing meaningful about them. It may say a hell of a lot more than you'd like about you.

And to prove my point, here is the police officer who was being abusive about the fat woman in last nights program . He is a fat man,he was being abusive for two reasons, one it was a woman, and he’s a misogynistic dick, and two, because she is fatter than him. This was a fat person abusing another fat person.

Who said it was all fat people? What part of many other fat person translates to all fat people, and how is it relevant you’re a healthy weight and think you’re chubby.

the point being made is people are saying society is fatist, that the majority of people are fat phobic. The point I’m making in return, is that the majority of people in the uk are actually fat. Two thirds. So if the majority of society hates fat peiple then a large percentage of those must be other fat people.

the police officer from last night is a case in point. He is a fat person abusing another fat person for being fat.

So? There are plenty of women who are misogynistic to other women that doesn't mean misogyny is any less of an issue?

Did you quote the wrong person, genuinely at no point have I said that misogyny is less of an issue?

Lucky fatties!

No I probably didn't explain properly I was just using it as an analogy. I was just trying to say that the fact that lots people in the UK are fat and fat people can often also be cruel to other fat people doesn't mean that prejudice against fat people isn't an issue, just like the fact that 1/2 the uk is female and women can also often be misogynistic to other women doesn't mean that misogyny isn't an issue. 🙂

Oh gosh, absolutely! The most hurtful part is the assumptions about me as a parent. I have been on the receiving end of the most patronising comments, including about things I specialise in at work - in education! I want to say, “I’m not stupid or a bad parent, just fat after becoming a mother!”

I'm so sorry that's awful 💐💜

I agree that it shows a lack of specific discipline but it’s not a particularly narrow specificity. It suggests that the person doesn’t exercise and eats poorly - this covers multiple elements: a lack of general physical activity; no active hobbies; no running round the park with kids or pets; no specific gym sessions; an inability to cook; a lack of education around food; poor choices etc etc.

i also disagree that most people lack discipline in other less visible areas - this is honestly not something I’ve witnessed. Curious what sort of areas you have in mind?

You win!🏆

Prize for most sweeping list of judgy comments about so many mums doing their best.

Hateful bully by someone who's suppossed to be a professional isn't exactly great for your health either.

@DancingNotDrowning why does it suggest all those things? They don’t correlate. And certainly aren’t all true in my case. I run around after the kids, no pets though! I am an excellent cook and have been since a teen. I am “well educated around food” if you mean nutrition and not just cooking. I don’t know what other “poor choices” you mean?

I think you must have misread my comment. I didn’t say that most people have a lack of discipline in their lives that they can hide. I said “so many” people. Can you really not think of a poor choice based on lack of discipline that people could make, that isn’t related to weight? I can think of many that would not be obvious to others. Over spending, using credit unwisely, not cleaning their home properly, drinking more than is advised for health, making all kinds of poor choices based on being undisciplined. Plenty of slim people don’t do gym exercise or active hobbies, or run around after their kids, or walk their dog enough.

Overeating and not doing enough exercise is a narrow specificity. That’s all it relates to. It tells you nothing about what the person is like at work, with their family, with others. How much they contribute positively to the world. Often I think the lack of self care is exactly because they are busy sorting everyone else out and putting their own needs last.

Often I think the lack of self care is exactly because they are busy sorting everyone else out and putting their own needs last.

This absolutely applies to the overweight mums I know.

The most weight conscious mums I know are, imo, frankly quite selfish.