To panic about needing to serve a liquid Xmas dinner

[Ciderapplevinegar]

A relative is in the unfortunate position of not being able to swallow solid food. They are currently living on soup and meal replacement drinks. However, I am hosting Xmas this year and really want them to be able to take part. But I'm so stressed!
Has anyone got any ideas of how I can feed them? They've said they are more than happy to bring their own "food", but I know they'd love to be able to join in. Might have to just be a nice meal rather than a Xmas one - possibly custardy trifle? Extra saucy moulles? Any other thoughts?!

Can I please ask you, OP, and anyone else catering for a special diet this Christmas NOT to make a huge hoo-ha or any kind of fuss whatsoever about it on the day. It may well be new, fresh and fascinating to you, and you may also want to seek a bit of appreciation for your efforts but please, just don't. It will usually be the very last thing the person involved wants.

I say this as a diagnosed Coeliac of over forty years standing. It just reinforces yet again how different you are, and the "othering" and unwanted attention can be deeply upsetting sometimes, especially on special occasions. Sharing food is such a sociable thing for most people, but it isn't for everybody. It can be fraught with worry, stress and even danger for some of us. As others have said, there is also huge social pressure to eat something the host has gone to a lot of trouble to make - (whether you wanted them to or not).

It's lovely that you want to make them feel included, and by all means have a word with them in advance, but please, no pressure, and accept with good grace if they decline your suggestions.

The primary duty of a host is surely to make all their guests feel relaxed and welcome. The special diet person is not there either to polish the host's halo or provide a talking point for their guests, both of which roles I have had inflicted on me in the past. . Please, discourage others from commenting or making a fuss too if you can. It's truly horrible for the person involved, so please don't do anything that might make them feel that way. In fact everybody, can we all just not make remarks about what other people are eating, or how much or how little they're eating? It's rather rude, and I think many of us who have difficulties around food would really appreciate it. 💕

I was typing as you posted @WiddlinDiddlin! 😄👍🏻

I'd make a Christmas's soup tbh, maybe looknat other nations and what they do and be inspired with the ingredients. One year I had an Italian Christmas with my husband and one Christmas morning had a Norwegian rice pudding for Christmas morning pudding etc, I'm sure you could come up with a nice soup that's special as it's inspired by christmas flavours :)

Same for dessert, a lovely rich chocolate with winter Berry compote etc or a chocolate orange mousse etc.

I'm hungry now.

M&S do a Christmas soup. It’s got chunks, but you could easily blend it to smooth if needed. I’d go for that.
But importantly, ask the guest. I’m sure they’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness & they’re probably much more used to managing their food choices.

Taking it even further off topic - I pull all the cornflakes out with the spoon and then drink the milk at the end. Have I been eating cereal weird all these years?!

@Ciderapplevinegar - I love how invested you are in making your relative’s Christmas meal so special. No real advice having seen some cracking, clinical posts on here (not going to take on the experts!). Hope you’ve found a wealth of inspiration to take you into the Christmas meal!

Thank you for your excellent suggestions. Everyone is very familiar with this person's dietary issues, so it won't be a big deal - I just wanted to offer something nice and special and will take your advice of checking in advance if it would be suitable and they can of course say no or refuse on the day, even if a trial run has gone well. I know things can change. Just wanted a bit of normality for them in an otherwise pretty rubbish situation.
Some mentioned that their relative craved savoury options - this is definitely the case here! Apparently all of the nutritional drinks are sweet, and there isn't a greasy bacon sandwich flavour available!

If I was in your relative's position it would be the company I'd want, not the food. And I'd hate to think my hostess was getting herself stressed about my situation. Cook the regular Xmas dinner for the other guests, let your special guest bring their own food, and stop worrying about it.

Having had a relative with a similar problem, I completely agree. Even the slightest texture that is off can be very problematic and distressing for the person involved.

If they need liquid it needs to be smooth. A blender is your friend here. Make some amazing smooth soups and smoothies

When my MIL struggled to eat she craved tasty savoury things like a prawn cocktail. I bltized prawns and strained them so she got the juicy, prawny liquid, same with cucumber and lettuce. Home made marie rose sauce with tabasco and worcestershire sauce, and a squeeze of lemon juice. Almost a prawn cocktail in a glass.

However, my own dm, with Parkinsons and on a soft diet, had been eating bland food for so long that anything with too much fat or spice or with a markedly different nutritional composition was terrible for her digestive system. Home made tomato and lentil soup was a disaster (even though she loved it when she ate it).

Depending on how well they can manage lumps and any sort of texture other than a thinnish milkshake consistency, I'd make a nice chicken broth/stock from scratch and put it in the freezer along with some frozen Aunt Bessies mashed potato. On the day, defrost and warm the broth and drop the mashed potato in it until cooked through, let it thicken the soup then blend it up with all the roast turkey, carrots, parsnips and stuffing etc., including some gravy. It will be the texture and consistency of a nice thick soup but will taste like Christmas dinner.

Do you know how difficult it can be to swallow a nice thick soup when you have Dysphagia? Some of these suggestions, though well meant, can prove to be really dangerous.

Home made soup OP. My DH was on a liquid diet for a while and now makes the most fab soups which can all be liquidised and are really tasty. But they really do have to be smooth and thin to be suitable. PM me for more info. You sound really kind and inclusive.

When my ma had her jaw broken in a pub fight - seriously, don't ask! - my step pa bought a strong liquidiser and bunged normal meals it it, so she lived on a variety of soups...

When my ma had her jaw broken in a pub fight - seriously, don't ask! - my step pa bought a strong liquidiser and bunged normal meals it it, so she lived on a variety of soups...

https://airwithflavour.co.uk/

These are more for people who can’t swallow at all but kind of nifty. You can make liquids into tasteable air. A bit different but novel.

@mirrorsandlights I think there's a tendency to confuse the ability to swallow with the ability to chew, which leads to well-meaning but unsuitable suggestions. And as a pp has pointed out, liquids can be too thin as well as too thick. It's too easy to get it wrong.

Obviously check with the individual, but once my Dad could no longer swallow solid food, he very much enjoyed all the elements of a roast dinner, put through the blender. Came out looking like a thickish soup (can be more or less think, depending on ratio to gravy) but tasted of the dinner. Christmas dinner is a roast dinner so this worked for him then.

It might be really stressful for them to have you go all out on food that might not be suitable or safe for them. It puts a lot of pressure on the person and often draws more attention to their medical issues which they may not want.

I would look for other non-food ways to include them at the dinner table, e.g. homemade beautiful crackers with personal insides, parlour games.

Blitz up meat and gravy and serve with mashed potato. Select the veg you've cooked they like and blitz up with some butter or water. It needs to be pureed consistency.

I agree. It is such a personal thing, which is why my relative was under the SALT team who tried lots of different things before they hit on the right one.

?

There's some really nice suggestions here but without knowing how much functional swallow he has and what consistency he can manage you need to be really careful. It's not worth risking aspiration and A&E is not much fun on Christmas day.

Oh, I totally understand the concept quoted I.e the textures and move speeds of the different items - as I said myself, when I eat cereal I do swallow most of the milk before I finished chewing, but the poster I quoted said that you use your tongue to hold the milk until ready to swallow it all - I don’t do that! So wondered if they way I eat mixtures of hard and liquid foods is weird 🤣🤣

Well that's exactly why I said 'depending on how well they can manage lumps or texture.' A blended soup can be as thick or thin, lumpy or smooth as you need it to be.

If this person's problem is sufficiently dire that they cannot risk attempting to swallow any food presented by the OP beyond a glass of milk or water then I am sure they will make the OP aware of that and bring their own medically prescribed liquid nutrition instead. There's no need to be so officious and sneery in your tone. The OP asked the question and we are just trying to help.