To panic about needing to serve a liquid Xmas dinner

[Ciderapplevinegar]

A relative is in the unfortunate position of not being able to swallow solid food. They are currently living on soup and meal replacement drinks. However, I am hosting Xmas this year and really want them to be able to take part. But I'm so stressed!
Has anyone got any ideas of how I can feed them? They've said they are more than happy to bring their own "food", but I know they'd love to be able to join in. Might have to just be a nice meal rather than a Xmas one - possibly custardy trifle? Extra saucy moulles? Any other thoughts?!

Unless you really regularly cook for her id be very cautious about consistency etc and err on the side of caution, but make sure that she can participate with everyone.

I’d do a thin, seasonal soup as a starter for everyone (something like chestnut). Serve your relative that for starter, and then offer more when you serve everyone else the main.

Whatever desert you do I’d serve with a thin custard, and offer relative the custard.

I would let them bring their own food.

As a PP has said, it has to be exactly the right texture. My mother had a liquid diet for a long while and the care home would liquidise whatever meal they prepared for other residents, and for afternoon tea she had liquidised cake. I am sure there were alterations, removing ingredients, adding cream, adding water etc - the point is, they knew the exact texture she could tolerate.

If you get it wrong, your relative will be unable to eat it, or they may try to eat it and choke, or end up with aspiration pneumonia.

The issue is having two different textures in your mouth which move at different speeds, if that makes sense. So as you say, the milk (or at least a good amount of it) goes down first. This is really difficult for someone with swallowing difficulties to co-ordinate.

For example, you might think of a soup as liquid, but for my someone with particular types of swallowing difficulties, unless it is also perfectly smooth, it will be an aspiration risk.

Swallowing while protecting the airway is actually a very complex manoeuvre and most of us are lucky enough to have been able to learn to do it without having to think about it.

If you try taking a mouthful of something like a chunky soup and really think about the tiny movements going on in your mouth and throat while you chew and swallow it becomes almost impossible to do it. (Like when you suddenly become aware of what your feet are doing when you're driving, or is that just me?!)

Just adding a few ideas for festive foods that are good in a mashed / mushy format

Baked sweet potato
Mashed banana
Mashed avocado
Scrambled egg
Stewed apple / pear
Mashed corned beef
Bread sauce

Season or mix with butter, yoghurt, cream, mayo, honey or maple syrup and season really well using salt, pepper (not coarse) spices (sweet and savoury - cinnamon nutmeg and all spice are seasonal) chilli, bouillon / stock pots, marmite, and other umami (I have a small tub of porcini powder and also a tub of truffle salt).

Avoid skins, pips (even raspberries / strawberries) fibrous fruit like pineapple, dried fruit and pastry.

Ask the relative but I worked in a care home and you can liquidise most food and make it suitable for them. Really over boil the veg like you would for a weaning baby and mix with gravy and then blend down

This is completely off topic sorry, but are you have issues with Nutricia since the system changed and they brought out the new app? I feel like I'm having to chase my mum's food every month now, it's awful.

Having had similar (but not quite at that level) swallowing issues in the past, I found it very stressful visiting others where food would be served. People tried to be very kind, but I knew exactly what worked for me and brought my own, then I could relax and not feel obliged (I know that's not what you plan) to try the host's kindly provided food - even if it was adjusted for me.

I know your intentions are really good, but if the guest wants to bring their own food, do let them. They can relax more knowing the food will work for them, and believe me, most guests with such issues (I was one) much prefer supplying their own and joining in that way.

I wouldn't make an issue of it, as (in my case anyway) it made me feel very self conscious and I felt I was attention seeking in having to be catered for in a special way that was different to others. I'm not trying to berate you or anything, but put yourself in the shoes of the guest, and make it special with something else like a funny hat with their name on it that lights up or something!

You come across as very kind and wanting to do what's best. But you did ask!

We are very lucky that DD still - just - comes under paeds and we have a very helpful and proactive dietitian.

But yes we have had some nightmare months.

Before my mum was tube fed they suggested custard quite often. It's all a bit complicated what's ok and what's not with a lot of supervised trial and error.

In a restaurant I was served christmas pudding ice cream - vanilla ice cream with small bits of pudding stirred through. Delicious.
Wondering if that would work with a small volume of pureed christmas pudding stirred into vanilla ice cream in this case? It was so good.

elht.nhs.uk/application/files/4116/4001/8982/IDDSI_Christmas_guide.pdf

Our dietician is lovely too and is trying her best to get everything to work. We've been really close to the wire a bit too often with emergency deliveries, prescription issues, and her having to have different food because Nutricia have run out altogether.

Sorry, for the hijack, I don't see many other posts about tube feeding!

Thank you all, some great ideas. Think I'll ask her if specific options would work. I know she eats a lot of ice cream so the Xmas pudding ice cream might be perfect!

This is a great idea, Christmas themed soup would be a nice touch and who wouldn't like Custard and Brandy Sauce for pudding!

I agree with a really nice festive/winter soup. Anything with chestnut feels special IMO. Maybe turkey, chestnut and apple with winter herbs?
And surely not just this relative but everyone would love it if pudding was a trifle? (I would!)

Let them bring their own food, but perhaps do a couple of seasonal things that could be additional to that to add festivity, but which are not substitutional. This was they don’t feel under pressure to eat them and they don’t go without if the things you make don’t go down well in the day.

Pwehaos one savoury thing, like a soup and one sweet thing, like a lassi. And plan small additional portions, so shot glass or espresso cup, which can be served to everyone in amuse bouche/palate cleanser style, so there is that communal feeling of sharing food. But with extra quantity in reserve so the affected guest can have more (if they so wish) whilst others are eating their other courses.

I’d also suggest perhaps having a trial run for tasting with just them say a month or so in advance. So one of the following can happen a) you and they can go ahead with confidence, b) you can make tweaks if something doesn’t go down well or doesn’t taste good c) they can say “look really this is lovely of you but it feels like an awful lot of pressure for me/you/us both, it really would be better if I stuck to bringing my own things. Then you both know you have tried and you have shared something special without it being such a high stakes/big day kind of thing.

YABU to 'panic'. You sound lovely and thoughtful but cut the stress just by asking. If you have any particular ideas, you can share them and avert wasted efforts if they're not suitable

Surely they are there for the company not the food given they’re on a liquid diet? I would just say I’m prepared to make anything for you that will be suitable just let me know and then if they give you an option great if they suggest bringing their own just let them

My dad was on a soft diet for a long time. He craved savoury foods, and consommé I think worked well. Bloody hard work making them and then he had to down them - so was over very quickly. Think it’s lovely to do something for her, so that for once she isn’t having to think about it.

This.

A friend of mine is preparing a liquid diet for her DH as he undergoes chemo for oesophageal cancer. Speak to this patient’s spouse and take guidance from them - you also need to be flexible because what they can eat/tolerate now, may be completely different come December so I’d make a loose plan now. Also, I’d be sure to ask them if they actually want to join you for the day/meal at all. I know friend’s DH finds it all awkward, upsetting and would rather avoid group meals altogether - this year he’s planning to have a few hours rest in the afternoon so that everyone else can enjoy their meal and he’ll join them after his nap and have a milkshake.

So, either way, speak to them/their partner and take their guidance.

If puree is ok, puree what you make and pipe it on to the plate in the shape of the original food, as if it were an icing decoration on a cake.

It might be more comfortable for them to bring their own food. If they did that it would not detract from you being a good hostess as you can take care of them in other ways than through food. I would ask them which they prefer.

I have not rtft so I bet you have already addressed this. So just ignore me.

It's probably safer to let them sort their own food out.

There are different levels of liquid food served in hospitals, where the patient has been assessed by healthcare professionals. If the food is the wrong consistency then it could lead to choking or swallowing issues. Specialist chefs make up those meals

They'll know what they are used to and need.

Concentrate on including them for all the festivities but let them do their own meal

I agree. My mum had MND and an unsafe swallow. When she was at that point she ate very little/drank little as it was hard work and the joy of eating was lost. But she did like to be with everyone. I agree with @nowinetimeforme that a festive soup - not too thick - would be lovely, if they like soups and a custard. A festive soup you could make it advance. I would also say try not to stress too much then if they are not able to have it on the day you won't be too upset. They may not feel like it. Sometimes my mum just preferred her shake which she felt safe with.

You could try Jamie Oliver's recipe for gravy with chicken wings (you could probably swap for turkey though). They're just for flavour, they don't stay in.

His wife says it like a liquid roast dinner. I have made it before and can confirm she's right. It's a little more effort than regular gravy but definitely worth it 😁