Is DH being a CF when he works at home?

[BabyNo2Soon]

DH works from home twice a week, I’m here with our 14 month old DS on those same days, and I work part time on the other days of the week.

On the two days he’s at home, he almost immediately goes out on a walk as ‘he’s been stuck in working all day and needs fresh air’. The walk is for about 30 minutes.

AIBU to think he should help me out first of all and take DS from me so I can have a break myself? I wouldn’t mind if he then went out a bit later…

He does sometimes take DC, but recently he is crying a lot on walks and getting hysterical so ends up having to carry him and push the pram. So it defeats the object of a walk to unwind after work.

everyone should have time to unwind after work, you and DH. So he gets the walk with or without child, and when you work, so do you

All go together or you go and have a walk after dinner so you both get some time.

I think it's reasonable for him to have that transition between work and home via a walk. Its hard to just switch between them.

Try a baby back carrier, mine loved it at this age as they can see everything and listen to parent talking to them about everything around.

I'm afraid I don't really get the need to decompress after work. It's something I never experienced. Either SAHM or working in the nursery where my child was so the second my shift ended I was mum again.
Tell him to take the baby with him. If it's right on dinner time or something then it's reasonable to ask him to go later.

I don’t think he’s being particularly unreasonable. It’s only half an hour, which may have otherwise been used as a (short!) commute, were he working out of the home. Is there a reason you can’t have some time to yourself perhaps a little later on?
Taking the baby with him is a good option, if you can work on him tolerating the pram, or indeed using a carrier. Personally I’d be trying to get into the habit, if it’s an option of all going for a walk together. You spend time together, he gets his fresh air, you get out of the house… a win all round I think!

Going out with a buggy/ child is not the same as a walk to allow yourself to catch a breath! Half an hour isn’t that monstrous surely?

Well I can see why he’d want a walk and some fresh air and the baby isn’t always happy on the walk but then once he’s had his chill session, he should take over with the baby/cooking dinner/whatever, so that you can have a half an hour breather too.

So why are you begrudging him a 30 min walk on his own?

honestly, these threads are nuts. It's one 14 month old, not quads.

It's too much to look after your own child 2 days a week without having
someone else take over immediately instead on 30 minutes later,.. don't have anymore children. Maybe out your toddler in care two more days a week and work full time.

and NEVER consider being a nanny.

Put the toddler in the pushchair ready for him finishing work and say Bob is going with you with your walk :)

As a baby/toddler, my husband (also wfh full time) took his walk at lunchtime and took our son with him in the baby carrier/back carrier and I got an hour of peace. They loved their lunchtime wanders.

It’s only half an hour, why don’t you all go? Can’t you take your son in the buggy if he’s only 14 months? That way everyone would get a walk and fresh air?
Do you feel like you don’t get out during the day with your son? Is your husband otherwise pulling his weight?

I think it’s the fact that, as per most men, the OP’s husband thinks he can just fuck off on a child free walk when he wants, and the assumption that OP will just provide childcare. I’d put money on OP also getting dinner ready while he’s out too, so he conveniently fucks off for a walk to get out of cooking too!

But you can go out for a walk with DS anytime

you could ask him to take ds but the walk is a great thing and probably necessary to decompress

All these ‘awww poor man’ posts are both infuriating and hilarious!

Just imagine if a woman/mum posted on here ‘I’ve got a toddler but every night when I’ve finished work I fuck off out for a walk alone, assuming that my DH will provide childcare even though DH has been at work too’

The responses would be soooooo different

THIS.

I guarantee spending the whole day with a 14 month old requires FAR MORE decompression than whatever desk job shuffling emails around her husband does.

he can decompress when your children leave home.

I have a wfh husband and I notice a difference in him when he goes for a post-work walk and when he doesn’t. He is much calmer and relaxed with the walk! I encourage it!

Get a sling

Is that what desk jobs are like? My husband works from home full time in front of a desk and computer. He runs his own consulting company and heads a team designing and building aircraft. I don’t begrudge him taking a half hour walk if he wanted to at the end of his working day.

When my child was 14 months old he was doing this 5 or 6 days a week while I was on maternity leave spending my days with other mum’s getting coffee and cake or going for nice walks. Yes, there were hard times and times when baby was sick or teething and so on. But a half hour walk a day for the work he puts in is fine by me.

Nah, it's fine. Go for a walk when he comes back, if you want one.

I do both and I disagree.
I have 2 toddlers one day a week, I have far more time for myself than when I work from home. And I do get to move around/get some fresh air at the park etc. I'm not saying it's less intense or tiring, but you get more time to wind down.

I'm assuming you don't work though, if you think that working = shuffling emails around... 🙄

I loved my commute for this purpose. Like flicking a switch in my head. Work could be frustrating, stressful, and rage-inducing. I needed a time to get rid of that so that I could (like Fred Thursday) leave it at the hall stand.

The 30 minutes in the train allowed me to sort out my thoughts so I could focus on my family.