Is DH being a CF when he works at home?

[BabyNo2Soon]

DH works from home twice a week, I’m here with our 14 month old DS on those same days, and I work part time on the other days of the week.

On the two days he’s at home, he almost immediately goes out on a walk as ‘he’s been stuck in working all day and needs fresh air’. The walk is for about 30 minutes.

AIBU to think he should help me out first of all and take DS from me so I can have a break myself? I wouldn’t mind if he then went out a bit later…

Lo is lo

Think it's completely reasonable, especially if he is generally pulling his weight. Switching from work mode to home mode, especially if both are intense, is not easy. If he is present and contributing, it might be that the 30 minute walk is what he needs to make that happen. Ideally, you could go out for a 30 minute walk when he gets back so that you also get some decompression time.

@Engruntled just in case we didn’t realise who you were aiming your reply at?

I'd make a point of doing the same if I were you.

Gosh, I bet you're fun at parties. Do you have anything useful to add to the thread, or do you just hover round with your special user name waiting to tell people off for something that has absolutely zero effect on your life?

Has he watched dc all day himself ever? Does he know how tiring it is?

Because if he hasn’t it won’t have crossed his mind that youre not having fun all day doing what you want (watching dc) and he’s doing you a favour by letting you.

Make sure he takes his turn. All day not just an hour. And give him chores ie put a washing on, and then hang it up, wash kitchen floor, play together with dc to encourage sharing toys etc. Once hes done all you do in a morning he might understand that youre not Having A Jolly at home while he is The Only One Working those two days.

That way when you ask him to take dc with him in the buggy when he goes for a walk on say one if the two days hes wfh, he will get it.

Going later wouldn't really work. I do the same and have a walk when I finish work to decompress and separate the work day from my downtime. I need a bit of a switchoff.

He could take the baby with him though, no?

Reverse

@Gizlotsmum The child is his as much as the OPs. It's pulling his weight he needs to do,not helping.
@BabyNo2Soon , let him decompress then take part in home life during non-work time.

Oh I wish! Lone parent. My time to collect my thoughts and switch off was as long as it took to walk from the garden office to the back door!
Now my kids are older I have tried to schedule in some time to switch between work and home. It's important.

Fair point but I help my husband and he helps me be that with house work, child care whatever….

If you’ve been off work, and he’s been working… why do you need the break first? Can’t either of you go on a walk with the baby in a pram?

Obviously referring to the times she’s at home in reference to the poster who was implying she takes it easy on her way home from her work shifts.

The poster wasn’t implying she takes it easy, they were talking about her DH

Doubtful.

This seems to be the answer!

Is it really the most sensible thing for your DH to be having his WFH days on the days you’re home though? Wouldn’t it be better if he had them on days when your child isn’t in the house?

It’s healthy to wind down instead of letting all the stress out on you. Good for him for recognising that

Yes he should bring his kid with him in the buggy, win-win! We all need time to decompress, explain to him that you haven’t been sitting down all day that you have also been working minding your kid. My partner helps with our kid when he finishes work (though rarely finishes before 5.30) because there really is such a small window to see her before bedtime - he does more bedtimes too because he wants to spend some time with her after work.

I agree he could take the baby with him.

There’s need and want though. I like a switch off period after work and these days I can have that if I want (my kids are older). But when they were little it was often straight from one thing to another and never mind what I “needed”.

I said I need a switchoff because I need it. When I'm working in the office I get that in the car driving home, even if the drive incorporates doing chores on my way home.

I wonder if the OP gets time to decompress after work on her working days.

@Gizlotsmum , I pointed it out because the use of the term helping implies that bringing up children is the mothers' work. If there are two parents, they should share.
I'm not picking you up on it personally, it's a general comment.

@BabyNo2Soon He's working from home. Working from home excludes child caring responsibilities.

Going for a walk by yourself is completely different from walking with a child out in their buggy.

Sorry OP I think YABU.

Being stuck indoors all day isn't healthy and the best part of my day is the walk to and from work.

It sets me up in the morning and helps me wind down in the evening.

I think he should be taking the 30 minutes at some point in the middle of the day. And insisting on it if his manager does not like it.